Finding the right support

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Finding the right support
« on: June 15, 2015, 02:29:50 PM »
So finding this forum has been my first actual step into finding my way out of this web associated with a dark past.

Now I'm interested in finding some support in my community. I'm not keen on therapy - yet - as I am not yet able to fully be open to my partner about the severity of what I am experiencing. I try to share with him what I can, but therapy is not yet something I am willing to do. But as a start, I am wondering if there is anything else that you can suggest? I am living in Switzerland but I suspect the resources here are similar to any other developed country.

What has helped you?



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Re: Finding the right support
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2015, 10:29:01 AM »
Hi, HopefulSeeker,

it is a huge step to reach out on a forum like this and start to open up about (parts of) your past.  :applause:

My two cents (based solely on my own experiences and the mistakes I have made) about finding support in your community:

- Don't try to look for one person to share the lot with. It might be too overwhelming. One person might be supportive about selfcare issues and another about work related issues and so on.
- Start with the 'lighter' issues with IRL persons first. Watch how they react, listen to your feelings and try to find out if it's faked sympathy or real empathy that you're getting. Have lots of 'normal' conversations in between so your friendships/relationships don't get too strained.
- Discuss the issues that you can't discuss (yet) with a IRL person or you wish to have more than one opinion on or something on a forum like this where you don't have to explain your whole story in order to make people understand and be supportive. It's a good alternative and sometimes it's easier to open up to strangers than to your loved ones/friends.

Don't know if any of this is of any use to you. Like I said, it's not meant as advice - just sharing what I have learned through my own mistakes. In hindsight I even lost some friends which were perfectly willing to be supportive by leaning too heavily on them when I was very raw and before I started t. I also had some bad experiences in trusting some friends too much who later turned out to be narcs and used the information I had shared with them to hurt and humiliate me and those experiences threw me deeper into my shell rather than helping me deal with my CPTSD.

Hopefully you'll be able to find some IRL support as well as online support. We're here for you if you need us.  :hug: