Professional Help Activity 3: Invite parents/abusers to therapy if appropriate

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C.

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3. Sometimes it is helpful to invite your parents, family or abusers into your individual therapy for a session or more to discuss and work out selected conflicts with the help of your therapist. This would temporarily change the format and focus of your individual therapy, although you and your therapist would already have an established alliance. You should be aware, though, that family therapy is not necessarily advisable or possible, given varying circumstances and attitudes of the persons involved. Adding your parents, family or abusers to your therapy sessions would pose an ethical conflict for your therapist, at least initially. Obviously, any consideration of such a plan must stem from your desire for it and your belief that it would be productive.  Your therapist would also have to agree that the benefits of such an arrangement would outweigh the possible detriment.
If family therapy is your goal, then you will need to do a lot of preliminary planning as to what you want to say, what your goals are, and how you will deal with challenges to your point of view.

If more extensive family work is indicated and/or acceptable, you probably would want to find a separate family therapist who could be more neutral than your individual therapist. In general, therapy of this sort is most likely to be successful when your parents/abusers have done some work on themselves or at least have admitted that they made a mistake.


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Kizzie

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You know, I would have balked at this idea even a week ago, but I was looking for articles about prevention of CPTSD and lo and behold apparently mental health professionals are making some inroads with Borderline Personality Disorder - see for example  http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/family-connections/

Unfortunately NPD and APD are still quite treatment resistant, but one thing C and I have been talking a bit about is that they can mimic positive parenting even though they might not understand why they are or are not supposed to do X.  So while they aren't likely to change, they can learn how to behave in a less abusive manner.  And any family counselling/therapy would go a ways toward preventing CPTSD in children. It's getting NPD or APD parents to therapy or counselling that's a challenge, especially if they're covert.     

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C.

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That's interesting and nice to see.  I like the idea that the family members become involved in facilitation.  I recently saw a movie about a woman diagnosed w/BPD, "Welcome to Me."  It was quirky and amusing.  I'm not sure if it accurately portrays BPD.  I always think of movies as happening in a fictional fantasy land called Hollywoodandia haha ;)  But good to see the issue of PD's becoming mainstream.

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VeryFoggy

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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

I invited my sister who had become increasingly abusive over the last year and half to come to counseling with me approximately 10 times.  She refused. She had many excuses.  She felt like her word that she was going to stop the behavior should be good enough for me.  The problem was I had been stopping her and pointing out the behavior for the last year and a half, and she would apologize, and then do it again the very next time we talked.  She hadn't kept her word for a very, very long time.

When my EF's went on for  two weeks straight due to what my therapist called horrific, abusive, malignant narcissistic behavior, and the apology she gave, and ONLY after I asked for it was not even a real one - I am sorry IF any thing I said or IF any of my reactions caused you to feel attacked...

Well, I knew she needed help and there nothing more I could do. So I chose to save myself and I ended the relationship.  And my condition for reinstating the relationship is that she go get some sort of counseling. I am not holding my breath.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2015, 02:49:40 AM by VeryFoggy »

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Kizzie

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Not holding my breath for my NPD FOO any more either VF. In their case I couldn't even get them to the water much less make them drink.  ;D  There is no way they would go the therapy route because they have NPD and just don't see anything wrong with them.  I can just see their faces - very perplexed, angry ......  Now they would go if it were to show me the error of my ways lol.

The literature I was browsing suggested that people with BPD do try therapy unlike people with other types of PDs. So given they do show up in therapy, at least there is more of a chance that some of the family intervention/prevention strategies mental health professionals are coming up with will reach children of this group.

BPD does seem to be becoming more mainstream ,maybe even a bit trendy. I noticed that there are all kinds of BPD sites now, blogs and forums and such. That might be a 'good' thing in that perhaps it will be a shorter step from there to awareness about other PDs.