Professional Help Activity 1: Discuss confronting your parents/abusers w/your T

  • 3 Replies
  • 715 Views
*

C.

  • Member
  • 1029
  • Learning from reciprocity as I heal from CPTSD.
    • View Profile
_______________________________________
Reminder: In order to honor our group process we ask that only current ASCA workbook group members post and respond here please.  If you would like to join in at this time or a later date please send the moderator a PM.  Thank you.

Note:  Your recovery is unique to you.  These topics and activities are suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to those that work for you at this time.

1.   Confronting your parents/abusers is an issue that will require the committed involvement of your therapist in helping you sort out what you want to do and how you want to do it. Planning any kind of confrontation about the abuse, be it a meeting or simple discussion with your parents/abusers, will benefit from a full and complete airing of feelings, doubts, expectations and hopes. You will need the outside perspective of your therapist to make the best decision.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 7334
    • View Profile
I can't confront my F because he died several years ago and I don't feel any need to confront my NPDM. They just never got it when I tried to confront them, never will and I've accepted that. 

If they had physically or sexually abused me or even been more overtly emotionally abusive I probably would consider confronting them because the abuse would have been more obvious, tangible.  But it was all covert NPD stuff and they had/have a battery of techniques to protect themselves (that's the nature and purpose of the disorder imo). 

I think I posted elsewhere about this, but the thought of confrontation just makes me frustrated and angry and sad.  It would be pointless and futile because I cannot and never could reach that part of them that makes them human, it's either gone or so deeply buried they can't even get to it.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2015, 07:46:04 PM by Kizzie »

*

VeryFoggy

  • Member
  • 278
    • View Profile
 For me, the confrontation was for me. And I was confronting several people at once, not just one or two.  So it really had nothing to do with them at all.  It was completely and totally for me.  It was a need, and a want, a burning desire to just get this stuff OUT of me, outside of me!  And out into the open where it could have the daylight shining upon it.  No more hiding, no more lying, no more pretending. NO MORE!  Sorry for yelling but it was that bad.

It was either it comes out, or I keep this poison inside of me and it kills me eventually.

Of course nobody but all of you and I understand why I did what I did, and in such a public way too, but all FOO were intertwined with FOC and everybody was being poisoned, and lied to, and I could not stand it one minute more.

And getting the responses was very, very painful. Still is.  But I am free in a way I never have been ever, ever before. I have told the truth. It was maybe like getting an amputation with no anesthesia. But I had gangrene, and I was going to die if the limb did not come off. Now there's a very good chance I will live after all.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 7334
    • View Profile
I did not go public because I thought the pain would do me in VF.  I see how much you are going through and honestly I don't think I could go through that, but I must admit I do fist punch the air when I read your posts lol ("You go girl" - that kind of thing :yes:.).   

I see that for you though it was soul poisoning and had to come out or you would have died. That's key in recovery I think, each of us figuring out what will leech the poison out of our souls.