Distance (email?) therapy

[woodsgnome]

I have a hard time asking for help (my IC is saying..."see, you're not so great, have to ask," etc.), but I'll try.

I've been to 9 therapists; I think I counted right. My journeys with T's all seem like a canoe trip I was once on where, on a large island-strewn lake, I carefully followed the map and, at nightfall, ended up precisely where I'd started that morning.

The last in-person T lasted only a few months last year. My tendency with in-person T's is that I find myself falling back into full freeze (per Walker) mode and my hyper-vigilance/fear factor dominates what I can do in person...I freak out and the T and I end up just having a nice conversation. I feel okay when I leave--after all, just to have a talk with anyone is a big accomplishment for me. But a bland aftertaste is all I feel later.

I revert to going alone again (books, websites, etc.), do alright in many respects, but that can just be self-talk, too. Even if I didn't feel like a T was helping a lot, it was neat to have some feedback for a change, 'cause the handful of acquaintances I have don't have a clue beyond the niceties of "everyone's got problems" or some other banal change-the-subject-quick-please chit chat.

Complicating the T situation is that I live in a very isolated area, where the main "T's" are found in bars or churches, establishments I don't frequent. And I rue the prospect of long travels again in search of a T.

So my question is: has anyone experienced or know about "distance therapy", for lack of a better term? One that uses email or some alternative to the live interaction? I've read a couple articles on them, found a few sites that could pan out, but don't want to chase around if perhaps someone on here has experience in this sort of T/client relationship.

I know I saw some references in one thread or another here but can't find my way back to where they're located and the search feature hasn't gotten me there either. So I'm giving up my reluctance to ask (shut up, IC!) and seeking help.

Thank you.

[Kizzie]

Hi WG - I know MaryContrary does therapy by telephone and when I asked her about it (I was thinking of it because then I lived rurally but my insurance wouldn't go for it), she was very positive.  She hasn't been active here for a bit but you could try PMing her and see if she responds.

I think Pete Walker actually does some therapy or at least consultations by phone so you might want to try him as if anyone knows about freezing it's him   

Good luck and let us know if/when you do try it, always good to get some feedback about options like this one. 

[Trees]

WG, I have had some rocky experiences with therapists over the years, but currently I am doing phone sessions with someone who specializes in cptsd.  I have never met this person in person, and that actually works really well for me.  I am usually intimidated by a real live person in the same room with me, so a phone session  is a calmer situation for me.

[Jdog]

Hi, WG-

Although I do have a "live" therapist whom I saw monthly for about 18 months, I now mostly email her (lots) and it works well.

[Dyess]

Hello, I've had experience with online therapy and it worked out well. Usually you pay for x number of sessions, or emails, you send when you want. Be careful not to use up you emails though.  What I would do is journal. Sometimes I would send the journal, sometimes just pick out what I wanted to discuss with her. Actually I may go back to that form of therapy. I too have issues with talking f2f with a counselor and go into "the freeze" often which stresses me because I feel like that time was wasted. The online counselor I used was about the only one around in those days. She's in Canada, but she is very good. Here's her site if you want to check it out for yourself and make your own decision. www.kalimunro.com She will also answer any questions you have. I enjoy her guided meditation on her site. Wish she had more. Feel free to pm me if you have further questions, I will try to answer for you.

[Indigochild]

Hey woodsgnome

Im sorry you're having and have had a hard time with this.

I understand the inner critic telling you you can not ask for help and i also understand what it is like to freeze in therapy.
A telephone consultation may be better for you- if it is purely to do with sitting in front of the person making it worse...but maybe it is just the act of actually *talking* about your stuff that is the problem, so that would exist weather over the phone or not.

Do you feel able to talk about this with your therapist? I think is very important to discuss this, and perhaps try to work out where it comes from. That is easier said than done i know, as being vulnerable in front of someone is not what we all like at all.
Maybe saying that will be easier than actually talking about the issues?

To me, i clam up and cant talk, or i just dont feel the emotions i should as i am not relaxed. I cant think clearly, my breathing is shallow, and its not an out of body experience, but I dont feel ....?...I feel plastic.
I know how it is to feel you accomplished nothing from a session. Its like your alone and empty.

Therapists are meant to help you with freezing, and a relationship takes different amounts of time to develop with each individual, there is no rush.
I really hope your find a way that is helpful to you, whatever way you choose.
And kudus to you for trying therapy out. It is very difficult, especially when you have not had many positive relational experiences.