The grief that dare not speak its name

[Southbound]

Post by Southbound removed...

... by Southbound. 


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Big Brother may be watching all of us. I know for a fact that Little Sister is watching me!

[Kubali]

I've just read this. It's overwhelmingly true.

All those "little deaths" to grieve. I have always believed that my chronic depression was 'frozen grief' I deliberately came off anti-depressants to see what lay beneath. It was *. Now I know it's CPTSD. I've also been diagnosed with chronic PTSD.

Nice.

[woodsgnome]

Bouthbound, thanks for posting this. It's helpful, and enormously hard, to read the literature on these matters, but we always look...sign of hope, I guess; still trying to find the unfathomable. I just wish I could read these sorts of articles and not find myself tensing up.

This statement in the article stood out for me:  "We now understand how vital it is for trauma survivors to make meaning out of their experience (Janoff‐Bulman, 1992). But making meaning out of an abusive childhood is a difficult task."

Yep, once past the 20 years of the free trip through *, I'd wonder and wonder-- WHY?!?!?...and then realizing, there really was no why that could ease me--no excuses, no understanding, no reasons, it was just madness (and I was the one called mad, angry, poor you, all that and more). Blame was almost too easy, and irrelevant anyway--the WHY haunts and re-haunts. In the end I just gave up any search for meaningless meaning, 'cause all I needed was comfort, and I had to search for that too, on my own as usual. The meaning? Well, yeah, so they say...forgive and understand and well, okay, it is what is...NO it wasn't, and it isn't now.   

[mourningdove]

Great resource. Thank you, Southbound.

It's so accurate for me that I had to stop reading half-way through. But I will definitely be going back to it.