My Family's Legacy

Started by Kizzie, August 25, 2014, 10:08:34 PM

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Kizzie

I grew up in a home that outwardly appeared fairly normal, but behind closed doors was rife with crazy making behaviour on the part of my parents and brother.  My F was an alcoholic and up until I turned 50 I thought it was ground zero for my family's and my problems.  I went to an Adult Children of Alcoholics group when I was in my late 20's and read everything I could get my hands on, and while reading and attending the ACoA group helped, it still felt like there were pieces missing, big pieces.  I knew a lot about what addiction does to a family, and that in mine I was the Scapegoat and Lost Child, my brother the Golden Child, and my mother the Enabler.  So why was I still struggling?  I was diagnosed back then with chronic depression and prescribed an antidepressant, and there things sat for a decade or two. 

Long story short, a number of things happened in my 50's that led me to look for those missing pieces in earnest. I found my way to Out of the Fog where I learned that my M and B suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  I finally understood just how crazy and soul crushing life had been in childhood and that I carried that with me into adulthood, my family's lasting legacy. I had been emotionally abused and neglected as a child and developed CPTSD as a result.

I finally feel like I have all the pieces.

I started this site with the blessing of the kind folks at Out of the Fog (and bless their hearts space on their server), as a safe place where those of us who suffer from CPTSD can share information and encourage and support one another on our journey out of the storm that is CPTSD.

Onward!

globetrotter

Thank you, Kizzie, for sharing all of that, and for fostering this site.

MajorMalfunction

Seconded; I'm glad there is now a site just for CPTSD. I'm really struggling with issues caused by mine right now and it will be nice to have a place to compare war wounds and for support.

Annegirl

Hi Kizzie,
Thank you for sharing this. I am happy that there is this forum for people with CPTSD.

Kizzie

Thanks everyone and welcome to the site! 


PureJoy

Hi Kizzie,

Thank you so much for having the strength, courage, and compassion to start up this forum.  I look forward to reading and learning from the facts, tools, and ideas posted here that will help me to be on my way to healing.  And the validation this site gives is the heart of hope!   At this moment, I am so overwhelmed with issues and depression that I don't think I can even go to the introduction page and properly tell my story.  I  hope to do that within a few days, if that is okay.  Again, thank you!

Kizzie

That's no problem at all PureJoy, you can make your intro when you're ready   :)  I understand how difficult it can be when you're struggling to summon the energy to write about something that can run very deep and trigger some difficult emotions. 

Glad you found your way here!  {{Big hug}}

pam

Yes I'm glad this site exists too. I belong to another anxiety site and have met a lot of online friends and acquaintences, but so many just can't relate to CPTSD feelings and the way my brain works. So I hope I'm even more comfortable here.

I'm so used to not being understood, that when I am, I get a little nervous because i worry that i will not be able to reciprocate perfect understanding to others...I'm used to being the bad guy, the oddball, the one who's crazy and gets it all wrong (in other words, always defending myself to others)...so this (mutual understanding) will be a different experience for me. Might take me a while to get used to it, lol.

Kizzie

#8
Welcome to OOTS Pam, glad to see you made your way here too!  We're just getting rolling but hope to build a community where we can all learn about and recover from CPTSD, and best of all a place where we don't have to be perfect!  So if you aren't able to provide 100% understanding, not to worry no-one will reject you or tell you you don't belong.  We're all finding our way so just jump in, and when you're ready maybe you can make an intro post and tell us a little about your situation.  ;D