"The sadness wants to be held"

[woodsgnome]

I was frantic this morning...my recurring "why is this stuff still happening" thought floated through along with the familiar "will I ever heal" lament.

A little later I wandered onto a web site and found a link about a fresh perspective on healing...so I took a look and it dovetailed with what I needed to hear, to be reminded of, so I thought I'd share it here, where so many of us are searching for that elusive healing...here is the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLKZN1LRFM

[Lifecrafting]

"By now is the big lie" Wow. Quite the statement!  And a good reminder to me to be gentle with myself, something I am just beginning to understand.

Thanks for sharing woodsgnome.

[Dyess]

I wish "Jeff" would sit up straight. I couldn't watch for him making my back hurt

[Cuthberta]

I liked what he said; visualise sadness as a little child coming to visit; don't chase her away, just hold her.

That was a good thought.

[KayFly]

Aww. He is so compassionate and loving. This makes me want to reframe the way I speak to myself in many ways.

I feel like I know that I need to be nice to my inner child when it comes to me with pain, but at times I forget to be nice to that child or "children" as he puts it.  This is a beautiful reminder of that. 

Thank you for sharing the link. Very helpful for the CPTSD Survivor.  Its easy for some of us to forget about our inner child.

[Dyess]

I've heard many talk about the inner child and inner critic. Does everyone have these? How did you know you did, if you have one?

[Dutch Uncle]

Does everyone have these?

As in: does every human has these?
I don't know. I guess some people don't, through a pathological cause. (There are people without memory, there are people who cannot recognize faces at all etc. ) But those are "the exception to the rule", I think.
AFAIK it's a well established fact that all people have an inner dialogue. The inner critic is one of them.
The inner child is a bit more of a concept for me. But I like it, and it works. Though I'm aware that I also (must) have an inner adolescent, an inner teenager, an inner 27-top-of-the-world who still thinks he can reach the stars, while the inevitable decline has set in since.

And I probably have an inner monkey somewhere as well as an inner reptile: It's just the way evolution has build up my brain. But that's more in the realm of genetics/hard wiring.

How did you know you did, if you have one?

Consciously: from the moment I read/was told about these concepts.
Looking back/subconsciously: I've always 'known'.
I did write about me as a toddler with my inner critic then. (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=2086.0) But I only got conscious of that about the time I wrote that, a mere weeks ago. Now I'm pretty convinced I had an inner critic already then: It's not an 'invention' born from hindsight, the memories of that event are vivid.

[Cuthberta]

I've heard many talk about the inner child and inner critic. Does everyone have these? How did you know you did, if you have one?

Yes, I think so.

In the case of my Nmum, she is her own inner child, pretty well all the time. Sadly not in a good way for the rest of us.

To find or connect with your inner child eat chocolate cake for breakfast, fly a kite, sit on the floor and play with toys, watch Winnie the Pooh films, release some helium balloons and watch them fly away; anything along those lines that you can think of. When you hear laughter, that is the child laughing. If you feel too silly doing these on your own, do them with an actual child; it is better with children.

[Dyess]

I may try that. And if you don't hear laughing are you still connected? I don't laugh very often.

[Cuthberta]

I may try that. And if you don't hear laughing are you still connected? I don't laugh very often.

You don't have to laugh; just live in the moment and see what happens. And enjoy it.

[Hope4Me]

I was frantic this morning...my recurring "why is this stuff still happening" thought floated through along with the familiar "will I ever heal" lament.

A little later I wandered onto a web site and found a link about a fresh perspective on healing...so I took a look and it dovetailed with what I needed to hear, to be reminded of, so I thought I'd share it here, where so many of us are searching for that elusive healing...here is the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLKZN1LRFM

That makes me tired -- life is an endless stream of thinking of wishing for a connection there has never been.  And the older I get the more hopeless I feel - if I was unworthy of love when I was young and pretty my chances now are a fools mission.