PTSD from narcissistic relationship

[Sohma Rae]

Hello my new friends!!!!
I was told by my counselor I have PTSD from a recent 7 year relationship with a narcissist and although I have not yet discussed it with her, I am finding through other research that this problem did not start with him. My codependent characteristics started way back when I was a child growing up with an abusive, alcoholic step-father; a man I loved very much and tried hopelessly to please.
The BEST therapy I have found is by reaching out to help others through similar circumstances. If you've been through physical and emotional abuse, I have been there but I'm learning how to overcome. Let's help each other and become the exact opposite of those people who have hurt us.
Please share with me your thoughts. 

[mourningdove]

Hi Sohma Rae and welcome! I'm glad you are learning to overcome and glad that you are here to share the journey towards healing. 

[VeryFoggy]

Welcome Sohma Rae and so glad you found us,  You are in the right place for searching and healing!

I have been on my journey for a year and a half of being fully "awake" and knowing finally something was really wrong. And I am still struggling.  I thought I could fast track this, but I can't.  I have worked on virtually nothing else for all of that time and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper.

But I am finally starting to feel better about myself. Finally.

Welcome and I hope you find hope and healing.

[Indigochild]

Hi Shoma Rae

Wow, what a break through to find all that out.
You must be relieved to find out the source of your suffering? And shocked?
That is where i hope to get to.

It is usually the case that people attract narcissists from very negative childhood experiences.

It is great that you are wanting to find answers and that you are here. I hope you find it helpful.

[KayFly]

Hey Sohma Rae,

I'm really glad you are here! I relate to growing up trying to please the parents who were supposed to be taking care of me. Also my mother was a narcissist, so I am working toward healing from that.

"Let's help each other and become the exact opposite of those people who have hurt us,"

Good stuff 

I remember saying when I was a little girl, "I never want to do to anyone else, what has been done to me"

I feel like I am also really starting to put that into play.

Sounds like you have come really far and are on a good track. I'm new to this community too, and have found it really helpful.  Welcome! 

K

[Lifecrafting]

Hello Sohma Rae,

I like your CAN-DO spirit - that is awesome!
Welcome!

[Sohma Rae]

I'm so grateful for all these comments and the opportunity to become acquainted with you all. My computer has been down for some time and using my phone to navigate is proving to be a challenge. I'm not quite sure yet how to respond individually to these comments (pointers, anyone?). Thank you all so much for your time.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello
I relate !
I have just finished a 4 yr relationship - it came so clear towards the end I was doing just what I always do - choose unavailable men ( father ) and love them to death no matter what to try and get them to love me ( mother )
When it came to the last day I felt so strong and I definitely flashed back to my foo - I was my mother and he my father -
When I walked away it felt more than leaving the relationship it felt I was eventually leaving my foo and asserting 'that is it - done ' I see this pattern so clear and I am done - never to repeat again
Gee
Now it's time for me and me and um more me
No more living my life people pleasing - caretaking and responsible for others emotional worlds
Co dependence is such a powerful disease and hides from us it's true nature -
I'm going all out to get tooled up and break this once and for all
I can't complie and I can't control anymore
Self worth is there to be built on

I wish u all the best on your new recovery journey and to finding the real you

[Boatsetsailrose]

I'm learning and observing 'can people be there for me - present and listen - care for me and I allow them to - this is part of the healing
And can I be there for me - and not over there with the other person - losing myself

[Lifecrafting]

Sohma Rae, I asked that question myself a few weeks back and from what I have learned, you can respond individually  in 2 ways:
1.By hitting the "reply" button for each person you want to respond to and post your comment addressing just that person, or
2. Use the quote function - this is how that works:
For each person, copy the text you wish to respond to (if you want to respond to a specific part of their post) and paste it in your post. At the beginning of the text, type this: [ quote ]  ***no spaces between the bracket and letter; I had to do that in order to show you how it works***
At the end, type this: [/quote]

I hope this helps you.

It looks like this when you are done:

I asked that question myself a few weeks back and from what I have learned, you can respond individually  in 2 ways: