Journal of a Dutch Uncle (possible triggers on just about anything)

[Kizzie]

Dutch I want to thank you for your time and effort with regard to OOTS.  You have given much of yourself and I and others do appreciate it. The fact that your moderation of the swearing issue did not go well does not erase all that you have contributed.  Stepping down as Moderator was called for but we are all human and most members understand and accept that.  I hope you do decide to remain and that you can leave this matter behind.

Now that you and others have had an opportunity to air some feelings and share some thoughts I would again ask that you and everyone please move on.

Kizzie

[Dutch Uncle]

Dutch I want to thank you for your time and effort with regard to OOTS.  You have given much of yourself and I and others do appreciate it. The fact that your moderation of the swearing issue did not go well does not erase all that you have contributed.  Stepping down as Moderator was called for but we are all human and most members understand and accept that.  I hope you do decide to remain and that you can leave this matter behind.

Now that you and others have had an opportunity to air some feelings and share some thoughts I would again ask that you and everyone please move on.

Kizzie

Noted.

edit: I guess I could also say "Roger" or "confirmed" or "message received" or whatever in that vain.
I'm sorry for feeling the need to elaborate on that one word reply.

[Wife#2]

Dutch - I missed the situation it would seem.

As your online friend, I just wanted to offer you this  and say that I hope you remain with us. Your insights have been so helpful, your encouragement needed many times that you freely offered it. For that I am deeply thankful.

Perhaps it's best to let this recovery journal close and open a new one for the next phase of your recovery. I would welcome the idea of you remaining at OOTS. Watching your recovery has sometimes encouraged me that recovery is possible at all.

Thank you, friend, Dutch Uncle.

[Dutch Uncle]

Perhaps it's best to let this recovery journal close and open a new one for the next phase of your recovery.

Thanks for the suggestion, it's in way appealing, but all this is part of my history too, and as my signature says: "To pursue the path of healing we need to remember what we have endured. Restoring ones sense of self means restoring memory, recognizing what happened. Without memory there is no healing." so I politely, though decisively and respectfully decline, dear friend.

Thanks again, being called a friend is the most gentle thing I've heard in all of this. 

[Kizzie]

Dutch, I would point out that you were not at all gentle with your peers in the swearing situation and the anger and offense is wholly justified on their part imo.  There is no conspiracy, no witch hunt, only understandable reactions to how you treated people. 

This is what a friend tells you - the truth.  It is embarrassing to make a mistake, I know that, we all know that.  It's in how you handle the mistake that matters. 

For the sake of your own recovery please try to get out of fight mode and see what I am trying to tell you, have been trying to tell you gently and privately at first and now clearly, emphatically and publicly.  You made a mistake in how you handled the swearing issue and some recognition of this and an apology are in order.

[Dutch Uncle]

Dutch, I would point out that you were not at all gentle with your peers in the swearing situation and the anger and offense is wholly justified on their part imo.  There is no conspiracy, no witch hunt, only understandable reactions to how you treated people. 

This is what a friend tells you - the truth.  It is embarrassing to make a mistake, I know that, we all know that.  It's in how you handle the mistake that matters. 

For the sake of your own recovery please try to get out of fight mode and see what I am trying to tell you, have been trying to tell you gently and privately at first and now clearly, emphatically and publicly.  You made a mistake in how you handled the swearing issue and some recognition of this and an apology are in order.

At this moment I'm not even sure anymore what would and what would not count as a "Fight" response, or if anything I do here or don't would sufficiently count as "For the sake of [my] own recovery".

I'll be gone for at least a while.

[Kizzie]

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