How to deal with anger, when your afraid of it and of expressing it?

[arpy1]

Maybe you could reward yourself (you deserve it, that was a step forward you took there). i do this alot. Maybe a nice hot bath, or a big mug of choc, i don't know, whatever does it for you? just to give yourself a little bit of nurturing for doing what you did. 

[KayFly]

Indigo 

I'm glad you are taking care of your needs. So awesome you were able to.have that safe time to.yourself to let that out. I can't do that kind of stuff in front of anyone. I'm sore it got scary or you couldn't get it all out. It's.a process for sure

Take your space. Take your time. Take care. I'm really.proud of you. Feel better and keep posting. You are not alone.

-K

[Dutch Uncle]

:cushion:

[Indigochild]

Thanks so much KayFly, really nice of you to say
And i could not ever thank you enough for your support, it means an awful lot.
I hope you are ok, and weather you are or not i hope you are taking care of yourself.
You can always post if you want and i am happy to listen any time.

[Indigochild]

Thanks a lot Arpy1.
I did think of this, but still feel like a horrible person for being angry, i know this is illogical, my brain says both things. Perhaps its because partner and i having bad time.
But i will try to do something nice, thanks so much for the encouragement, i guess i needed that.
 

[Indigochild]

KayFly, ps. im so sorry you also feel you cant express that part of yourself in front of anyone. I do hope one day you will be able to as it is ok to feel angry and to express it, and theres nothing to be ashamed of.

[KayFly]

Thank you Indigo I'm glad we can be here for each other. You are so kind, and you deserve to be happy. I'm glad you found some resolve and that we know we can reach out to each other as the road does get bumpy at times.

Thank you for wishing me well. I do have a protective wall up sometimes when it comes to expressing things, but I work very hard in my therapy and to heighten my awareness or consciousness constantly, so I have no doubt that it can all heal and be expressed and heard, and I wish the best for you.

Cheers

[Indigochild]

No problem KayFly 

Im glad we can be here for each other too.
Thanks you so much for your lovely words.

That is really positive what you said. I hope it can be solved through therapy and being aware and conscious etc.
I do hope you can find a balance between being self protective (the wall you put up) and letting people in, and I hope you can be heard by yourself and by the right people.

[Indigochild]

Don't know if i should write as it seems the topic has kind of ...come to a closing.
This may be too rambly, and i dont expect anyone to reply to such a long thread. Not sure if i have repeated myself here.

Feeling very anxious and have been all of today. It is unbearable, and I had to leave volunteering due to more triggers.
Tried to stay calm and communicate whilst dealing with things partner says that upset me, weather he means to or not.
I cant rage or healthily express anger in public of course, so i feel i let myself down as i resorted to recent bad comping mechanisms.

Had this huge thing of abandonment fear and panic when we were chatting by i message about what went wrong that morning for me to be so angry.
He didnt even care that i had to go home due to feeling to stressed as someone else started prying into why we were having problems, totally unasked and unwanted, telling us to try harder with apsolutley no knowledge wasts so ever about the situation, and then having more emotional flashbacks.

I feel like he doesnt understand how utterly awful I'm feeling and never asks anymore - he told me this- because I'm hardly ever honest with him about how I'm really feeling.
I was upset and angry about that, because i thought, that even i lie about how i feel  because I am unable at this stage in fear of being hurt by him, acting like he doesnt care and never asking anyway (maybe he is at the end of his tether and maybe upset cos i wont tell him anything), is just plain hurtful and its like he is abandoning me.

I was on the train and i realised, that my mum did this.
And when we were having relationship problems (me and partner) and she talked to me about it, it wasnt *what happened / what did he do / say*, it was *well, what did YOU do???* and i think she said that *he has the patience of a saint for putting up with me and all i can do is treat him like that*, with out hearing what i had to say.
It was basically a talk that involved a telling off.

Now i realise why it upset me so much when his parents did that when i left a while ago or a break from him...they totally blamed me for everything as they think their son could do no wrong.

When i reached out for help when i was suicidal to my narcasist friend, she never spoke to me again, and later attached me by email telling me i was an attention seeker and in no real pain, when my partner finally saw my point and emailed her about how she dumped me and used him, when she was never friends with him before.
She had done this to a lot of people.
I understand why, so am not blaming her etc. maybe abandonment fears of hers- pushing people away etc.

But his message and getting the train after the last time being when we broke up back in febuary...made me remember the time with the narc, and i felt that he was doing the same thing as she did, and as my mother did.

I reached out to the narc, who was just like my mother, thinking she'd understand, when she treated me the same way as my mother did, not listening and shunning me away.
I was so sad when i made all of these connections this evening..and for the first time, i felt i could cry for the first time about my mums response to my relationship and personal problems, blaming me, about my partners parents blaming me and not even looking at their sons side of the story, and about my partner leaving me and not responding when i was upset and said to him via text that i feel that he doesnt care about me. (fitted into the convo so i didnt just say it out of the blue)

Maybe i offended him, but he doesnt understand the pain i am in, the anger or the sadness, and probably has just had enough of me, when all i do is try to keep everything i feel under wraps and to myself, as telling him- he just hurts me with his words later, just like my mum did.

It seems that know one can handle me.
If I'm emotional, they cant handle it.
If I'm closed off and pretend I'm fine, he cant handle it. He cant handle emotions either.

Then i started thinking that i was a lost cause and that there must be something wrong with me, something so terrible that people just leave when I am in emotional crisis, even if i try to keep it all to myself (my general habit)

Partner says it gets on top of him all the things he is doing for me, never thinking about the stress i am under trying to not upset him by feeling so angry, and I wished i never got so scared when i was re traumatised, - i couldnt be in the house alone for fear i might die (crazy sounding i know)..i wont go into the whole long story of what sparked the fear off, so
I wish i had never let him help, if only i knew at the time.
He gives mixed messages (T said that and i saw it myself then), and that is what my mother did.

He is not ok with a lot, money issues etc. that we had come to an agreement on...and it seems a lot of things.
Everthing is too much for me when it comes to him, and he feels the same when it comes to me.
I cant trust that what he says will stay that way, in terms of how he feels or him saying he's fine, as it never does.

I guess i feel that trust is completely ruined, and whilst this may be an emotional flashback as his issues and the way he is reminds me of my mother, I am also seeing the reality of our relationship and of him and the way he is.
He is not changing and compromising and its upsetting as it looks like its a dead end.
There is no resolve, as ive tried everything such as talking calmly and of course, exploding in rage when i couldn't help it. if we talk about the past few days, he may be like, oh i didnt realise that etc etc. but the same pattern will repeat itself again as it always does.

He finds it hard to express his anger in a calm way with a bit of tact, and i get so angry so then he feels he cant express himself or talk about anything at the time, as i get angry. He seems to see no fault in himself sometimes.

Staying with a friend, a guy i got back in touch with, and I hope for not many triggers whilst I'm here.

The world is so scary to me right now, nothing is safe, I dont feel safe, I dont feel i have a home, and i dont feel safe living with partner.
I feel so alone. 
I dont have many supportive people in my life (i guess i attract those like my parents and people who are also messed up), and I am just waiting for people to hurt me.

I feel that i have to go though all of this totally alone. Its like a punishment yet again, but not from my mother this time, for having feelings or for trying to deal what my life in a healthy way (therapy)

I wish i coud just hibernate, or take some drug so that the triggers would stop, the actual scary things that are happening would stop, and that the unbearable anxiety and panic would stop.

I know i shouldnt numb out to deal, but i feel that delving into this stuff and being in therapy is a curse, i know its not all my fault, and T is helping me see the reality of partners behaviour which isn't ideal, i guess I'm just more aware of what is and has been happening for a while with partner.

If i start trying to be nice to myself in any way at all, one being trying to express emotions in a healthy way like i did this morning on my own, my world goes upside down and not in a good way.
Perhaps i can't face the truth of partner as its scary, so like i did with my abusive mother, i am trying to convince myself that its me causing it by being nice to myself, just like in the past with mother, i thought her behaviour towards me was my fault- because I'm not worthy etc.
But this belief is very real that doing nice things- the world is against me being good to myself.
I feel that the world and the people in it dont want whats best for me, they are saying to me that i dont deserve to be nice to myself, or to be healthy, or happy.

Logically speaking, this could just be because i have attracted people like my parents...no fault of their own...
but when its happening and you are in the thick of it, its hard to be logical and to think that way, because at the end of the day, i literally have know one, and if i did, i wouldnt be able to trust them enough to be myself, or to let them in.

I just dont know how to deal with everything feeling so scary and unsafe, there is know where i can go where i feel safe. There is no support apart from mental hospitals, and i dont want to go there. I dont feel I'm psychotic and wouldn't be taken seorusly.

Ramble over with. Just had to get it out.

[KayFly]

Okay,

First, you are not a lost cause. You don't need to feel like this topic is "over". Especially when it is clearly not.

You are recognizing a crucial pattern in your life about the people around you who have invalidated your feelings, your mother and your ex narccasict friend. Maybe the fact that these people ingrained into you so much that your feelings don't matter, you eventually began to subconsciously believe this to be true and form your pattern of internalizing so much. Maybe your inner child is not having it anymore. Your feelings are real and you are in pain. I am so so sorry for all of this. I so relate with internalization and being so abandon and invalidated.

And yes, some people can't handle you. I have friends who have abandon me because they just could not handle me. That was very hard for me to accept, and it still hurts to think about those people. But now I need friends who can handle me. And I would rather be right where I am with no friends at all, than to have the wrong friends.

I really relate with being so overwhelmed and just not knowing what to do, or not trusting the person/people who are supposedly closest to you, due to past trauma or just due to the fact that they have betrayed your trust.

Your partner sounds like he is not able to handle the emotional stuff you are going through, by prying when you are not ready to talk about it (boundary violation), and by ignoring you when you do need to talk about things (neglectful). He sounds unreliable and irresponsible. Not helping with house chores. And inconsiderate of your needs at the moment..

You deserve to have someone in your life that will listen to you, and not make you feel like you are a burden for going through what you are going through. My boyfriend may not know what the * to say sometimes when I am more upset than he could ever understand, but at least he Say's I am sorry and he feels sad for my pain because he's a * person!!

Good for you for taking some space. Take deep breaths. Read Pete Walker's steps in managing emotional flashbacks. Don't let your critic tell you you are not worthy or that it will all turn into * for you. You will get through this. You are obviously dedicated enough to do something about a relationship that doesn't seem to be going well at the moment. Remind yourself you are in an adult body, you are not that little girl that was abused by mom anymore. You are not friends with an invalidating person anymore.

Maybe taking some time apart will provide clarity for you, for what he is accountable for and for what you are accountable for, and as long as you are accountable for yourself and your actions, that's all that matters. If he can't come forward about the part of the relationship that he is lacking in, that is his problem...not yours.  I got faith you are gonna figure it out.  But I am so right here with you. I know that overwhelming mind that only leads to disaster and catastrophes. Its just that critic.

Take care of yourself. This is a rough patch. You'll get through big big 

[Indigochild]

KayFly, I cant believe you read that huge stream of stuff i wrote-

Thankyou for being so nice and for being here. You help a lot.
I find it very hard at the moment to believe all of your kind words, but i want to believe them.
I am so glad you didnt mind my post.

You are right i think about interlising that my feelings dont matter. The T said i was made to reject my feelings and not have any, and now I'm doing this to myself. hard to hear but true.
I am sorry you can relate and I'm mega sorry you were abandoned.
I have to ask, if you have this fear of abandonment, and of being alone...how did you get used to it if you have- / (doing with out those people)
How did you come to the conclusion that you would rather be alone if you had to be rather than to have friends and people who invalidate and abandon you? How did you take that step? Was it awful? were any of these romantic relationships?

I hope you are not alone now, if so, I'm sure you will meet people later on who treat you as you should be treated.

I have always thought of partner as neglectful, and i wondered if it was his fault- weather it is not not, doesnt mean its not happening, same as with my mother. Her own rubbish childhood that made her the way she is isn't and wasnt her fault.
But you writing it helps me to see it.
You have a way of summing up the main points i made, and making sense out of them- basically helping me to see more clearly whats going on in my head.

That is really nice that your partner feels sorry for what you are going through. Its difficult i imagine, that he doesnt understand but it is nice that he is sorry.
I think that i am like my mum in the way that I'm angry and it comes out in pickiness, which I'm trying to control, my dad couldn't handle her (he is neglectful anyway), so i dont blame partner but the fact that i said to him that i dont feel he cares and he never replied, i just think he is done- or thats the impression he gives.
burden is a good word to use.
He may not be in touch with his feelings, or may be overwhelmed. But it is so triggering, and i know its a real problem not just a flashback.

I will read Pete Walkers steps- thank you for the recommendation.
I never even thought of the critic.
I dont hear it often, if i do I'm not aware, i mean, of course the critic would pop up like it did in the past when similar things happened, and it is a form of self protection to hide from the hurt that is the truth.
And thank you for telling me to remind myself that I'm an adult now.

I know i am accountable for things too, just to clarify, i cant see what at the moment, as i always blamed myself as everybody else did including partner, now I'm not doing that as T says I'm rightfully angry with him. But i will try, there are two sides to relationships i have heard often.

You are right that the only thing i can do is be accountable for my actions. Im trying so hard to be calm and mature, and if he still cant handle it, then thats not my fault.

Your message made me cry it was so lovely and reassuring. I cant thank you enough and i appreciate your support so so much.

I hope your ok, big    to you too.

[KayFly]

Aww. I cried when I read your post too because it seemed like you didn't think it was important, and I feel that all too often.

I hope I didn't come across as to say you are not being responsible or accountable for your own actions, because from some of the things you are saying, you are a very accountable, aware human being. You know what traits you picked up along the way, or at least some of them, and you admit things that are not fun to admit. You are brave.

Haha. I hope that you can believe me. I can relate to not being able to believe that people are actually being nice to me. I go through that with my boyfriend. He'll be looking at me compassionately, and I will be like grossed out, since I am so used to my psycho parents pretending to care.

Great questions about the abandonment/being alone. I feel like I have been alone for a long time.

Last year when I decided that the place I was living wasn't working, I needed to divorce myself from my family, and forget about the guy I was off and on with, I moved to a different area (where I live now).  One of the reasons I wanted to move to this area, besides to branch off more into my artistic career, was to be closer to my childhood best friend. We had been friends since the 2nd grade.  We were off and on. Sometimes when we started hanging out in adulthood, we would fight, but I was really excited to live closer to her.

I moved down, and she met me at a starbucks one day, and she said basically "Don't ask me for help. I'm not helping you with anything." I almost cried right there in the coffee shop. What a mean thing to say. What a hurtful thing to say. It grosses me out to think about it now.

Well I didn't conclude that she was a person that couldn't actually handle me as a friend until I was in therapy, months later. But man it had drilled so hard in me. She kept not calling me for no reason or saying "I'm busy for the next month"...And I was so excited to see her. The thing was that I was telling her about my trauma, and she wasn't able to handle it. Its just the way that my T explained it to me, it was like, "well, she can't handle you, but that doesn't mean your not awesome." (like she didn't say that, but she has a way of expressing herself that always makes me feel good about myself...well maybe not always...lol ANYWAYS)..

So I had to let it go, and since then, when I have a bad encounter with someone, or someone doesn't call me back for no reason, or show any effort in the friendship, it's easier for me to go, "well, they just aren't in a place to be friends with someone like me."

I'm striving for health, and I want to be there for myself as much as I am there for other people and I want other healthy people in my life, and even though it still hurts to think about my childhood friend, the loss of my family, the loss of many, I am here now, and that makes me one of the strongest people that I know. There is a lot of self esteem in really getting through something like that. It really hurts, but you can get through it.

I was even homeless for almost a year (well I lived in a van) at one point. It was tough in the  winter, very cold, and I wasn't able to function enough to work, but now I am in a good place, in a good home, I mean I have severe emotional problems, but like, I like that "everything is temporary" kind of idea, when something you are going through is hard.

I went to school today. I've cried a lot since I have been home. I'm grateful for alone time for that reason sometimes. Its just easier for me to let it out when I am alone. But I'll get up and take care of my responsibilities tomorrow, and I will probably come home and cry a lot for some time, and thats okay with me because crying is healing, and I will cry for the rest of my life it means i am healing every day (but I don't think I will have to cry everyday for the rest of my life )

I really can't speak to you about your partner or what you should do with that situation, but I believe that the answers are within you and that with time and continuing to reach out for help, eventually these will just be things that happened, and not a huge deal in your life.

I really wish you the best. I'm so glad I could be of help in some way.

[Indigochild]

I cant believe you cried! It sucks that you feel that way too, that your feelings arnt important. I know that your feelings are important.

No, no, you didnt come across as to say I'm not being responsible.
I just worry that people will think that I'm totally blaming partner and taking no responsibility. I have always been blamed in the past= never him with any problems with relating.

*you are a very accountable, aware human being*.-
thank you, i hope so and I'm trying to be. Definitely more aware.
You are brave too. I really mean that.

It is hard isn't it to get out of the paranoid belief that people dont mean what they say, that its not true, that if they knew you, or spent time with you at least, they wouldnt think or say those things anymore.
I hope you can over come this.

I can relate to parents pretending to care. Sometimes for their own aims. And I felll for it sometimes.

It is so so sad that you feel you have been alone for a long time. It shouldnt be that way.
I am sure that something great will come along for you. I guess we have hard journeys, but hopefully good comes from it in the end, or even along the way, and that we will meet good people eventually.

What did was so freaking brave. So brave. You are strong I'm sure, even if you dont feel like it. And everyone has their moments when they are not so strong, and thats ok too.
You should be so proud of yourself, i hope you are.
All of that sounds incredibly difficult. And being homeless!! 

You and your friend fighting, perhaps you were used to turbulent relationships, so you stayed?

Im sorry you had to bear your friend saying that to you. Its like  a complete rejection to your face and must of been extremely painful.
Doesnt she understand that that would effect you based on your past experiences with abandonment?
She could of at least been more subtle with her words. Maybe you didnt tell her too much about your past.
I guess you now know the truth, and whilst going through the truth is painful, as you lose someone you thought was a friend, who you thought or hoped cared, i would rather know the truth than waste my time, as time gets wasted a lot in these bad relationships i think, until we realise the truth through whatever means.

Yes, it seems that therapy helps you realise things you never would have on your own.

You do not deserve a friend that treats you like that. The friendship doesnt sound like it was equal, and thats no good, its not fair and it cant progress and be healthy.
It sounds like she wasnt up for the relating part, and if so, only on her terms.
I have heard that some just cant handle the truth of your story. its too much for them.
Its so true, it doesnt mean your not awesome, what a good way to think about this- or to see it as correctly.

Yes i understand that you T can not make you feel good about yourself all of the time.
Its so difficult when therapy is triggering and then you start to distrust them, weather you trusted before or not.

How did you let this go?
Im no good at grieving at the moment, if i come close i disassociate unintentionally then i feel nothing ,but i spent my time running away from relationships where i wasnt wanted by the other person, emotionally running so i was numb to it.
I know thats not healthy.

I am glad that its getting easier for you to see that it is not your fault if a person doesnt want to be friends  with you...

I hope that the hurt will stop, when you think of your Foo and old friends. Maybe it wont, but i hope it will get easier.
Healthy grieving is the aim, with no guilt on your part for what went wrong.
As you say, you can only be accountable for your actions.

Hey, if you want to talk out why you are crying, please feel free. I am happy to listen.
I hope your tears are making you feel a bit better. Maybe it will take time, but you should be proud of yourself. It is really difficult stuff you are going through and working through.

Yes, i dont want you to feel that you have to give me answers about the situation with partner.

*eventually these will just be things that happened, and not a huge deal in your life* - that would be so great, and i usually get over things- yes by pushing it away, but it is manageable even if it doesnt seem like it is in the moment.

I wish you the best too, and your understanding is so valuable.
I hope i havent just said loads of things you already know, I'm basically agreeing with you i guess, because i do agree, and i like the way you view things.

ps. checked out pete walkers flashback steps, and a lot of his stuff before the steps on his website page are comforting to read, and is me to a T.
Thankyou for suggesting this.
You really help me to feel less alone, and i really hope i can do the same for you.

[KayFly]

Thank you Indigo for your kind response and for all of your validation. It really does help me to feel less alone, more heard, and also this process of talking to you, and opening up about my experiences has helped me a lot. It kind of like took the things that I was learning, and really set them into me more.

I don't like to give advice to anyone unless its something I am doing myself, otherwise I find it hypocritical...But I realized while I explained things like about my old friend and how it's easier now to say "That person just isn't able to handle me as a friend."...it was like this conversation helped me validate this in myself more, which is good because I remember how hard it was at first. And I'm glad I can say it's getting easier, to provide hope for others. It helps my self esteem.

So don't feel like this conversation is not a learning tool for me. It is very helpful.

As far as trust goes, well I have severe trust issues and I haven't let go of them all. I still don't trust my boyfriend sometimes, or my T, or doctor, or teachers or friends. Trust is earned, maybe it's harder to earn with me. I'm okay with that. I've been hurt and I have the right to be distrusting. But yesterday, I was having this conflict with my Psychiatrist, Therapist and Primary Care Doctor...they were all telling me different medicines to take, no one was on the same page, and it was getting to me for weeks (and I also recently attained asthma so I can't really take any of the meds, since they triggered that) and I was very triggered by everyone pulling me in different directions or even trying to get me to take meds (triggered from the past, and not trusting the people who were supposed to take care of me, my parents)

So I called my T and I told her I had a huge problem with all of this, and she validated everything, helped me calm down about it by saying like "No one could have known you had this reaction to the meds." Meaning, we want the best for you...and it was frightening for me to tell her I had a problem with the way things were going, but when I did, I felt so much better and resolved because above all those relationships, the one with my T is the most important. I love my other doctors too, but I was feeling unheard, and when it came to resolve, I felt a release that I had been holding in. That may be one reason I cried

I also cried yesterday a lot because I miss my sister. I posted about it in Lets Hear it For the Music.  Loosing my family has been really hard. I mean I know they were abusive, but it was just a year ago that I estranged myself from them, and stepped into a whole new world, very alone and afraid. So I cry all the time because I am grieving basically.

I'm really glad you are making steps to take care of yourself. It's so crucial and thanks a bunch for reading all this, and for caring about my feelings or why I am sad sometimes. It really means a lot. Sometimes I post something on here and will be so devastated and in pain, and someone else will post something similar below me, and what I said, gets overlooked and everyone responds to the other persons pain. I don't know why that has happened at least 2 or 3 times now, but it kind of pisses me off.

So I am glad you are here.  I hope you have a good day. And best of luck with everything

[Indigochild]

Hey KayFly

How are you doing? Do let me know if you can, I care a very much.

I do hope i help you to feel less alone, and I'm sorry you feel alone.
It is an awful awful feeling.
It is good to write, and to write about your feelings / process...as yes, i agree it does help you to see things more clearly.
I am so glad its helping you to validate things in yourself.
It is difficult and must of been so difficult to come to the conclusion you had come to about other people, as i think its easy to blame ourselves.
I am at the blaming phase at the moment, and hope to move past it.

It makes sense that trust is harder to earn with you, considering everything you have been through.
You have been hurt, and you have every right to be dis trustful. My T said this to me too, and i cried after i left, as i was shocked she even said that to me, i couldnt believe it was me that had been hurt, and I felt so sad about it, and cried because someone was validating that fact.
Maybe its about finding a balance between protecting ourselves in a heathy way, and not pushing everyone away...or being too distrustful.
Its hard to get.

I can see how that experience with your Psychiatrist, Therapist and Primary Care Doctor would mess you up.
Im sorry about the asthma too.
Its good that you knew what it related back to (your parents) but as I'm finding, it doest help the pain, and I'm sorry that happened to you, with your parents.
You must of been freaking out.
Im sorry it went on for weeks, it must of been terrible.

It is scary, as you yourself are not a doctor....well, I'm presuming...may be wrong!! so you can not help the situation by deciding what to take.

You should congratulate yourself majorly for talking to your T about it.
It sounds like it was very difficult for you to do, and you should be proud that you did it.
I am glad she was able to calm you and help.
Im glad you released some of that feeling. It is whats needed i think.
And about your sister and Foo.
I understand the feeling of feeling unheard. 

It is hard, even if they were abusive. It is all you knew.
And of course, stepping out into the world alone is terrifying. You sound brave, its just a shame you had to be not out of choice.

Can i ask what you did when you left them? where you went?
I wish you luck on the grieving process. Im always here if you want to talk it out.

Feeling alone and scared in the world, distrusting others, and feeling un heard- i totally relate to all this, and it is not at all pleasant. Im super sorry you are going through all this.

I didnt realise that- about the forum and people ignoring your posts. That really sucks and isn't comforting at all when this place really should be. I dont blame you for being pissed off in the slightest.

Im sorry if you feel let down by me not replying to this for a bit...I wanted to write properly and i was a mess and couldnt focus and I'm so sorry if you felt alone at all.

You are sweet to thank me, but really, there is no need to.
I am really happy to be here for you.
I hope you are doing nice things for yourself too- it really is crucial.

Thanks a lot for your good wishes, and best of luck with everything with you too.