Mentally Exhausted

[glbreed]

I am just starting to recognize my inner critic.  I have discovered I have been listening to it for 34 years.

Today it is telling me;

I am worthless
Others hate me
I am always wrong
No one wants to be friends with me
No one finds me attractive
No one can be trusted
There is no one who will ever love me

All of this has been constantly playing in my head all day and I am at work and have to fake like everything is okay, and I have to concentrate on my projects so that they are produced correctly.

I am mentally exhausted.  Medication is useless.

But I am thankful for this site and for this community of people who understand me, and I them.  That's a good thing. 

[arpy1]

yup, sounds just like mine. the big meannie. knows all the right buttons to press for a really bad day.

when it is in full swing, it is hard to remember that the stuff it says is:
definitely not truthful, definitely not kind, definitely living in the past.

whereas you? 

yep, you're the courageous person who is learning to reclaim your Self from its spiteful clutches. and (respect for this!) doing your day's work on top of that.

hope you are able to give your mind a rest and maybe get a break later on. 

[serkinglight]

Fie on that inner critic!! Maybe writing here as often as possible the ridiculous things it says can cut it down to size.

Mine:

You are a complete loser.
You'll never get out of this.
You haven't changed since you were 8 weeks old, you infant!!!
Good luck ever getting free of this terrible ball and chain--ain't gonna happen, missy!

No more true in your case than in mine, the big liar!

I'm going to attend a "depression recovery group" tonight, my first ever. Hoping for the best....

[arpy1]

Good luck, Serkinglight hope u have a really good evening

[glbreed]

Thank you, everyone for your support.  It's comforting and I value it.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello glbreed
I am sorry you have to go through having a ferocious and untruthful inner critic-
Yes it is mentally exhausting

I feel like I am being mentally abused and yes for me too it's worse at work when I need to perform and concentrate -

I feel I'm being abused because I am ! It's one of the cptsd symptoms and it's one of my worse -
Thank god I get to see what it is today and that I can have that awareness and learning how to cope with it
For years I too was just in it and believed all it said -
My t suggested I create a positive affirmation that I could believe

I say 'I am good enough
It's ok to be me
I am enough

I love getting some rest from inner and when I am on my own is the best - sad but true

Sending you best wishes if u learn anything to aid let us know !

[betamax524]

Gah, inner critics can be such a pain! I've described it as like "being in an abusive relationship with myself" to others, and it can be really exhausting to deal with such negativity when it comes from yourself. Something that's worked for me is "fake it 'til you make it." It sounds silly, but after a few months of looking for the good in myself, I'm starting to get a better outlook :~D

I still have those frustrating days when I know my inner critic is just blatantly lying to me but I can't help believing it, but with a combination of sheer stubbornness and a great support group like my friends and the people on this forum, it's starting to get easier to put my inner critic in it's place!

I wish you the best dealing with your own critic, and in my opinion, you've already made such a big step acknowledging it's existence!

[Dutch Uncle]

I've described it as like "being in an abusive relationship with myself" to others

Nice one. Well put. 

with a combination of sheer stubbornness and a great support group like my friends and the people on this forum, it's starting to get easier to put my inner critic in it's place!

I like that. 

[Laurelinwen]

Wow.  Those words from your inner critic were spot-on.  That's exactly what they say to me.   We force ourselves to be positive at work, and it's all fake. I have a co-worker who is so critical of me that I want to quit, so I cut myself insteAd.  Unhealthy, I know... But I've sent out four emails in the past 2 days where no one has got back.

I moved here a year ago to an in patient unit.  I have my husband, thought i don't know what he sees in me.  I have no friends.  My family is with me out of guilt.  I don't know why I'm here.  It baffles me.  Id rather be dead than deal with this terrible coworker.  My own Rabbi hasn't written back.

* it. No rainbows.  This is how it really is, I type with one wounded hand.,

[Jenny Blount]

I don't know if this will help.....on a stabilisation course I attended it was suggested we give our inner critic, or inner worrier, a stupid voice. I imagined my mother-in-law's voice in my head. This worked great because I could yell at her to shut the f**k up.

Identify the critic with someone you want to punch back. It helps!

[Danaus plexippus]

When my inner critic tries to tell me how to drive, I shout at it to "Shut up and get out before I throw you out!"

It's good to make a list of your accomplishments. If you can't think of any ask people who are not critical of you to help. Make a list of things you are grateful for. Make a list of things that you love. Every time you recognize the voice of the inner critic, tell it to shut up and read these lists.

My therapist had our group imagine the inner critic had the voice of Minnie Mouse. 

[woodsgnome]

Jenny Blount wrote: "...Identify the critic with someone you want to punch back. It helps!"

Reaction #1: I never want to hear those voices again.

Reaction #2: Yes!!! If they come uninvited anyway--at last I have a voice (several actually) to return to the yammering diatribes echoing their blustering  . And then, I shut them in a box and listen to them fade away. 

Thanks!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Shutting them in a box is a good idea ! I'm really fed up with mine - it's time for change !

[woodsgnome]

Boatsetsailrose wrote:  "Shutting them in a box is a good idea !"

Sorry, I forgot to add the final step--Lose the box!. And/or destroy it, but that might give the voices more attention when what's best is just to be rid of 'em entirely.

The final/final step of 'Just letting them go' is too reminiscent of that yuck line 'just get over it'. It's more effective if, instead of letting it just go, we get to take an active part in the sendoff. Then...
                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                             

[Chartery]

Very much agree with all that has been written so far.  What has worked pretty well for me so far is trying as hard as possible to identify when it's at play and gaining traction - when I catch this I give it a swift 'F**k off out of here, you don't belong here.' It takes some work and it can be tiring (like so much of this) but it has given me great relief from when it was at it's worst.  I still try and stay as aware as I can each time it rears it's head I try and remember how important it is to be self compassionate.