DramaMama is back. Just a few months ago I got a mail where she sort of acknowledged I had gone NC. (
here).
***posible triggers on life threatening conditions and anger issues of me***
Today I received a new mail of her, addressed to DramaSis, bro and me, that a friend of her has had a stroke, and is a "lost cause". This friend of hers is one of her 'disciples' as I like to call them nowadays. She met this friend in a
mothers-who-find-it-o-so-difficult-to-accept-their-daughters-homosexuality-group my sis did with DramaMama (and friend's-daughter.) They have been best buddies ever since.
Apparently my mom was out camping, and the header says: "Going home".
Actually, this is a positive sign in some sense, as DramaMama used to mail me (us) everytime she went out camping with details on how to contact her in case of emergency.
So obviously she has ditched that, I'm of the e-mail list for that anymore. Yay!

Which also is 'proof' this is a hoover. She needs to get the pity! Not mailing me about te good stuff (=holidays) is easy. To pass on the opportunity to be needy: not so much.
DramaMama writes she's "so upset, I want to be at home so much, staying at the camping site is not an option [

BooHooHoo!] and I'll go packing right now. [Yeah, RIGHT NOW, you all hear! I'm in misery now!

] Kisses [and you all better send some back! ], your mom. [Yep, you better know this is your MOM, mailing you.

Not just anybody! ]
I will not send her a word.
I'm
almost happy I have got a reminder of what friendship means to my DramaMama a few days ago with the funeral of
the-friend-who-dared-to-question.
I can't say I feel too proud about me writing all this, I feel a bit bad/guilty about the resentment to my DramaMama I express here, the lack of compassion I show her when a friend is about to die, etc. etc., but I've come too far in my recovery to not see this for what it is: a pity-party hoover, which in all likelihood (or dare I say: certainty?... Ehrmmm, no, I'm too chicken to say that) will only result (If I were to answer and show my compassion) in her dragging up ALL the hardship she and friend endured and how much support they have been able to give each other in the difficult period of working through accepting my sis being a lesbian. Which in the good tradition of a

is of course still a sour spot, to be displayed like a stigma (DramaMama's stigma of course: way worse than the stigma homosexuals are confronted with...) 4 decades after my sister 'coming out'.
A sardonic part of me wants to write to her (I realize this very moment I'm typing this): "Happy pity-party mom! May the decision to take your friend off life support be a long and difficult one, and may you be witness of all the gut-wrenching agony your friend's family will be going through in that process, and don't forget to put
your agony paramount to all when telling about it! Hang in there! I know you can do that!"
(I have had stories about that when other friends of her have died. Disgusting stories really, where it all was about her as well.)
Of course I won't, I'll stick to my NC, but possibly for my own recovery it's a good thing to acknowledge I have that sardonic part in me.
And give it all a rest.
Perhaps an opportunity to lay that part to rest, together with DramaMama's DramaFriend. (Who, like my mom (and lets not forget: my sister's 'mom'...) has probably never passed an opportunity to be still 'upset' about her daughters homosexuality, and all the rest of her being her.)
*** end of triggers ***
It never stops, now does it...
Good Grief...
