AndyT - LAS and me

[AndyT]

Hello everyone,

I am a chronic case sadly (14 years) and to know how to make a brief intro is going to be hard but here goes.

I originally very reluctantly acquired c-PTSD in the workplace in 2000 and then spent five years fighting a very complicated employment case. I also became an advocate and became part of the anti bullying / whisleblowing support system for many others. This has sadly increased the number of triggers that have had a debilitating impact as I see the legal system as harmful.

My main specialism is investigating these behaviours and these are also my triggers. I have an eating disorder and my social anxiety makes life awkward. My recent situation has found me being abused by a local person who has turned out to maybe suffering from NPD traits or BPD. Sadly it has trapped me as the daughter who may be also a victim I cannot help and now is causing me difficulties. I take no medication as I find my cognitive reasoning is impaired by such medication and I can ignore the anxiety on most occasions but in this case where my hyper-vigilance may also be a trigger for her it has been difficult to handle.

[AndyT]

You seem to have a lot going on.  Has your current / past therapist been able to diagnosis you?   I assume you have one, as you were on medications.  When were you diagnosised with CPTSD?

2001 was diagnosed.



It is the daughter of the woman with NPD and sadly the whole thing is very disturbing. It is of course difficult to know but based on the facts it appears to be the case. Sifting the projections has taken effort but getting there.

.

[Rain]

AndyT, I'm glad you can help, or at least be there, for the daughter.    2001 diagnosised with CPTSD ...you will have a lot to share with us here, then.   I look forward to your posts, AndyT

and, BeHea1thy ...Yup!   Kindred spirits!!

[AndyT]

I am there for her if asked but she does not realise it and is now to wary to talk to and I have alarm bells just seeing them at a distance. I had a crazy situation where I was fleeing the town and going to Brum a hundred and fifty miles away at one time and suspended my own treatment for six months so I would not be seen walking around in town. My Doctor was not happy as I struggle to leave the house at all. I also had to suspend publication of my book and rewrite it all in case it was misinterpreted and the prospect of justifying to a barrister a word or a line was to awful to contemplate (LAS). The book took 14 years to write!

[Badmemories]

Wow Andy...
I have been thinking about suing My former employee for ABUSE, etc. so I do understand some of what You went through!  My job of 14 years became unbearable, I was fired for many things that a NPD employee who was the bosses bestie and lied about me! 

[schrödinger's cat]

Hi Andy, I realized only now that I'd missed your introduction. Sorry. Welcome to the forum (belatedly), and I hope you're finding it useful. I was sad to read that your only choice seems to have been to either stand up for what you believe in OR to stay uninjured. That isn't a choice anyone should ever have to make. The sheer unfairness of it must be hard to stomach.

I love how you put it: "I very reluctantly acquired CPTSD..." That hits the nail right on the head, in my opinion.

[AndyT]

schrödinger's cat,

Yes the choice was an unenviable one, but seems I am inclined to the principle which has been a bit of a problem. My nurse tells me that this is my strength as having a strong core set of values. She totally understands the PD mind and we have many almost academic discussions. Her observation is that I have the ability to rationally think through situations and that partially comes from having this 'moral compass'. She only just said it and pondering it at present.

I like to employ a bit of dry humour into the odd line. 

[AndyT]

Andy T,

I really like the 'moral compass' and the strong set of core values. Wonder if there is a gene for 'whistleblowing' in the DNA?

BeHealthy,

More a nurture than nature on that one. I remember a board meeting of Freedom to Care and sitting amongst eight other whistleblowers and they all had the same characteristic shared core values. All different issues but all came from the same root. Talked a lot about hyper-vigilance and hyper-sensitivity. Always remembering that there is a lot of incompetence great inoculator to grand conspiracies.