Unable to ask for / accept help

[arpy1]

hey Southbound, fwiw, i don't thing you're overthinking, i think your gut feeling is generally to be trusted and you're feeling a bit guilty/insecure/uncertain for wanting to listen to it, maybe??

i did that with my T (not a guy, but still, a kind person doing me favours etc) and i didn't listen and i realise now that i was going into a place i didn't feel safe. i wish i had listened to myself before i used up most of my money not being able to set a boundary or two.)

i'm the last person in the universe to  talk about setting boundaries becos i only just realised i was allowed to have any. but maybe this is about your wanting to set some boundaries for yourself re this guy before it gets uncomfortable for you??? as to how, i'm afraid i haven't any real idea, i just know that it's hard! 

[stillhere]

Southbound, a shout-out for the fabulous way you've handled this situation.  You've retrieved Bertie, finessed an encounter with an angry "good Samaritan," breezed passed an encounter with the police,  avoided an accident (no rear brake), and then got Bertie repaired with only the "cost" of listening to someone you're unsure you want to know.  Not bad for a week's work, or so.

Small wonder you're trying to figure out what to do next, so a few thoughts.

You "owe" this man nothing.  He clearly wanted to do you a favor or two.  You've given him the opportunity. 

You can now ask yourself whether you want to know him.  You don't need to think about a romance or a fling.  You might tell the twelve-year-olds to be quiet so they can watch and learn how adults manage relationships.

You can also have tea with him, if that seems reasonable, and keep asking yourself.  You don't need to "fix" this relationship in any way.  Maybe he could be a friend?  Maybe not. 

Is the uncertainty something you can live with day to day?

[arpy1]

 

[arpy1]

definitely. be safe, sb, for goodness sake! and re scary mary:  asking her for help doesn't mean you have to be bosom buddies, and it doesn't mean you have to take on a relationship with someone who's soul is a bit too powerful to be able to handle at the mo.  if she helps, get her a thankyou card, don't give her your soul!!  hugs to you