The Long Road continues

[JohnnyBoy]

ok new thread lol

[arpy1]

this is fun!  li'l arpy1 likes!!!

[JohnnyBoy]

lmao smartasses

[arpy1]

 

[JohnnyBoy]

lol man o man....remember I told you about the girl what asked me to share her laser booth? well tonight I had my own both, ive got my back turned from the computer, suddenly I hear, "I thought Id come over and help you finish out  your shift", I turn around and it her standin then, I about dropped the part I was holdin, but told to hop on in.

[JohnnyBoy]

On a serious note, I feel like something snapped inside me, like my giveadamn finally not just busted, but outright disintegrated. I can't help but feel like, *, she spent the past four, five months partying, drinkin, drugging, and getting laid, while I played the good responsible adult. * even her stepmom said I didn't need to try to find someone new, just focus on work and the kids. When will it be my turn to have some fun? Now I aint into drinkin or drugging, or even partying anymore, but * I'm human and I do like the touch and warmth of a good woman. I'm tired of being the responsible one while she gets to go play and constantly gets a get out of jail free card. Right now I just don't care about anything, her, id almost say the kids but dammit that aint true, I do care about them, her and my family. Sighs, not much of anything. I just wanna go out and let go. Am I awful to feel this way?

[JohnnyBoy]

nice lol

[JohnnyBoy]

Well she brought the kids up for a week, a (in her words) trial run to see how getting back together would work out. Lol well surprise surprise, she did everything she could to make it NOT work out. She barely spoke to me, stayed on her phone constantly texting (even when I asked, then told her to put it up), I would try to show any affection what so ever, she would rebuff me. I laid down on the bed next to her one night rbbing her arm and running my fingers through her hair, she jumped up and ran, (I mean literally ran to the other bed, we were in a hotel), another night, I go to lay down with her, she grabs our 5 yr old (daughter) puts her in the bed and gets in the bed with our 4 yr old daughter (our 8 yr old son was at mawmaws lol). No explianation on any of this, before she came up she kept goin on about what we were gonna do, and how many times blah blah blah, I mean I don't care about sex so much, but I would have liked to have held her some, lol kiss on her, (blushing ya know what I mean) Anyway....there was also the whole stopping her meds, it took 3 days until she finally told me she hadn't been taking them. Whats even better, in her home state, she is back in her apartment, same old friends, one of which kept texting her while she was here, she blatantly told me she would be drinking with said friend again. I told her "that's fine, I'm glad to finally know how much consideration you put into you childrens feelings. She stills denies being an alcoholic. I know I am, last night was proof, it took every once of energy I had to fight the urge to get "a few" drinks, to "make my mind shut up" my old excuses. I won lol, wasn't the first time, wont be the last.  Anyway, she got so angry and accusatory toward me when I realisticly got upset over her cold shouldering. I was upset about spending a whole week ignored, she couldn't believe how selfish and childish I was being, she threw out, I just wasn't ready yet. Anyway Heres the icing on the cake, her mom and step dad came up here to get them, my ex forgot her meds at my mothers house, now picture this, on a bridge, about 100 feet above a very large river, turning left thru traffic, dumbass (my exes stepdad) tries to make an illegal U-turn through not one but two red lights (the one for his lanes and the ones perpendicular) he gets slammed by another car (of course) my five yr old autistic daughters head is put thru the window (she's fine thank god, just cuts and bruises), and it gets better, the police come, I find out, to my utter astonishment the man is driving.......wait for it.......wait......without insurance, that's right ladies and gentlemen, the, theresnotenoughexplectivesintheworldtocoverhim was driving without insurance! So, their car got towed, he comes crying to me, begging me to get one of my sisters to buy him some insurance, I said uh....no. My exes sisters bf finally bought some and they went home. Lol now the cherry, I'm starting to regret her dad taking the kids. I call the kids daily to check on them and talk to them, I work 6 to 7 days a week, and I am doing everything I can to get my babies a home in the little bit of time I have to myself. As I have explained to him several times I have my friends home, but I have to wait until the settle her estate (it could be months) he accused me the other night of not wanting my children, and when he has a fight with my ex and her mom, I get the fallout to the point that I'm starting to not want to call my children. I cant help what my ex and her mother do 300 miles away, I shouldn't be punished for it. But I am being punished for it, he has threatened to put the kids in foster care if I don't send $204 dollars by Thursday for court so my ex can get them back and take them back to her apartment complex I call *. He got pissed off because he asked about the money, I told him why I was short this week (lost half a day due to that stupid wreck, an overtime day) my ex has some outstandings on her rent, I told her I couldn't afford both, and to chose, but that it would be in her best interest to get her apartment finances in order first before she tried to get the kids, so she wouldn't have to worry about losing their home, she agreed wholeheartedly for once, her dad accused me of not wanting my children. so this has been what yall missed the past couple weeks, oh and I got a 50 cent on the hour raise and a promotion to trainer.