Information about Abuse & Personality Disorders/Mental Illness of Perpetrator

  • 7 Replies
  • 6581 Views
*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
Books
Articles  (There are tons of online articles available - just Google "Narcissism" and settle in with a cup of coffee)

Web Sites/Blogs
« Last Edit: September 21, 2019, 06:25:35 PM by Kizzie »

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
Good videos about NPD behaviour:

Gaslighting - Kati Morton

The Silent Treatment: The narcissist's passive-aggressive power game - Kati Morton

The Passive-Aggressive Covert Narcissist - Interview with author Debbie Mirza

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
Famous author Franz Kafka's father had NPD, who knew? I always related to his book "The Trial" and now I understand why. The book is about Josef K who was arrested, prosecuted and killed  without ever being told the nature of his crime. On the surface it's a book about totalitarian regimes, but in retrospect draws heavily on the' Kafkaesque' trauma inflicted by his father.

This is evident In a letter to his father which paints a clear picture of the trauma inflicted by his  NPD behaviour.  For example, one time when Franz repeatedly asked for water at bedtime, his father angrily scooped him up out of his bed and left him outside on the balcony. The trauma of this act stayed with Kafka:

"Even years afterwards I suffered from the tormenting fancy that the huge man, my father, the ultimate authority, would come almost for no reason at all and take me out of bed in the night and carry me out onto the [balcony], and that meant I was a mere nothing for him."

This is exactly the primal fear instilled in children when they grow up with a parent who has NPD; you are "a mere nothing" and subject to the power of those who have authority over you. In the end of "The Trial" the main character is killed without knowing why and this is the fear of children who have a parent with NPD - death because we are mere nothings

Deep, lasting trauma.  :'(

« Last Edit: November 25, 2019, 03:46:15 PM by Kizzie »

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
« Last Edit: April 18, 2020, 08:43:27 PM by Kizzie »

*

Blueberry

  • Member
  • 7068
  • 'Should' is never good for me.
    • View Profile
Famous author Franz Kafka's father had NPD, who knew? I always related to his book "The Trial" and now I understand why.

That's interesting! I never did manage to finish reading "The Trial" but I know that when I ended up on a closed ward after a Very Bad Experience with FOO, I felt as if I was playing a role in "The Trial" for 2 weeks, though actually it was less time.

Also if you think about a trial, there are lawyers and defence lawyers and prosecutors arguing and cross-examining and demanding proof, well, that's a bit what dinner table conversations were like when I grew up. NPD allround.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
Best article I've read thus far about why/how those with NPD behave as they do and more importantly why their supporters behave as they do.  Shed a LOT of light on DJT and other N leaders and their followers, something that has been incomprehensible to me to this point.  I feel like I understand it so much more now. 

How Narcissists Use DARVO to Escape Accountability, Apr 2020

Sometimes it can seem as if narcissists possess such extraordinary manipulation skills they appear to bend reality to their will.  This is made painfully clear when they inflict harm on someone and, astonishingly, escape accountability by flipping the script and blaming the person they’ve wronged.

Narcissists are expert at erasing the pain they cause from the narrative. They wipe their hands clean by projecting their malice, aggression and treachery on to the target. The more malignant a narcissist is, the less of a conscience they have. This makes them able to blame the survivor with such ease and skill that, once the narcissist has spun their web of deception, the survivor appears to be the aggressor and the narcissist their hapless victim.

In many cases, survivors are left reeling as their abuser blithely revises the fact of their aggression, twisting the truth into a narrative that bears no semblance to what actually transpired. This is because narcissists have mastered a tactical maneuver that effectively grooms individuals and, indeed, entire social groups by controlling their perception of events.

The name of this strategy is DARVO.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
Another good article I came across today by the same author as the one above - Male Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 8378
    • View Profile
A book recommended to me on Twitter:

Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation by Dan Shaw, 2013.

On the expensive and academic side but he talks about the damage/dangers of NPD ranging from the personal to societal level.