Information about Emotional Flashbacks

[David1973]

Where does one start to begin healing or managing ones CPTSD? I have used alcohol for over 20 yrs with some yrs of sobriety through AA in there. Recently I relapsed after 13 months of sobriety on April 7th. My father was an alcoholic, Vietnam combat vet who met his end, due to cirrhosis, in 1994 at the age of 44. I know AA is not helping me get to the root of the problem(s). Suggestions please.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! I am glad you're here. Many of us here have substance abuse issues, or other coping skills that are no longer helping us cope.

I think it's been vitally important for me to learn that the differences I see in myself, comparing myself to others, are a natural consequence of abuse and not character defects. CPTSD causes changes in how the physical brain processes information.

Unfortunately, many doctors and therapists are ignorant of the differences between post traumatic stress and complex ptsd. Ptsd is from a single incident - car crash, mugging, etc. - while cptsd is caused by multiple, interpersonal, inescapable traumatic injuries. Our symptoms are different and effective treatment should at least be trauma-informed.

We have a resources section containing printable info (http://www.outofthestorm.website/downloads/) as well as many book recommendations (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/Books.html); two that I found particularly helpful were "The Body Keeps The Score" and Pete Walker's "From Surviving To Thriving". Walker also has a website, http://pete-walker.com.

Above all, know that we are here to listen to your experiences and pain without judgment, and to validate your feelings and share what's worked for us. Thanks for joining!

[Healing Finally]

Hi David1973  thought to share that the LifeRing Secular Recovery program provided the best help for me to retain my sobriety.  They get that there are numerous reasons someone drinks and we each have our story and ways of recovering.  It's all not like one big blanket statement which AA expects everyone to swallow...

More here:  http://lifering.org/

And, they have an email support list for those of us who are considered "Dual Diagnosis": LifeRing Secular Dual Recovery: Sometimes those seeking sobriety also suffer from emotional and mental challenges that can make recovery more difficult. LifeRing SDR is a safe place to discuss those highly personal issues among people who may not share the particular problem, but who understand what it's like to deal with life-limiting issues in addition to addiction. Whether the difficulty is depression, or anxiety, or some other emotional/psychological challenge, the members of this group will listen and respond with positive and supportive messages.

Good luck with all the challenges we are here for you too.   

[Gromit]

Hi Avemaria - Raising children can be triggering no doubt about it.  Are you seeing a therapist?  I ask because one way to help our children is to help ourselves first.  It's a bit like flying when in the safety briefing they tell you in the event of an emergency to put on your mask first so that you can then help others. FWIW, I think the same applies to those of us with CPTSD.  We need to do something to help reduce the EFs (i.e., process the trauma),  so we have enough oxygen to parent in the way we want to. 

Yes Avemaria, raising kids is so hard, I sought help from everywhere I could as I didn't have a clue. I found the 12 steps of Alanon helpful (had an alcoholic boyfriend once) and any kind of parent support group going, the last one originated in the US I think and it was based on the work of Webster-Stratton. It is all about making sure you meet your needs in order to meet the needs of your children. BTW I found when my kids started school there were other triggers too as I had been bullied at school. Be kind to yourself. The slogans I remember best from Alanon, 'how important is it?' And using 'when' and 'then' from the parenting help groups. 'When I have done this, then I will....' 'When you have cleaned your teeth, then I will read you a story' for example.

[Resca]

Just bought Pete's book and the excerpts I'm seeing on these forums makes me even more excited to read it! The traditional idea of "flashbacks" has never really jived with me because I don't feel sucked into actual memories (like many of us, I barely feel like I have memories) so I always thought this symptom didn't apply to me.

But this I have definitely experienced. It validating to know that this is normal and just another part of C-PTSD; it's good to know it's something I can work on. Thank you for sharing.

[Tee]

If this is true then I think in currently constantly fighting between emotional flashbacks, and visual and auditory ones constantly.   My mind loops through my past like it's on repeat trying to find the way out the magic button that will make it all make sense. I'm not sure how to stop the loops?

[Three Roses]

I hope this will help - we often refer to Pete Walker's work (books, website etc) and he has some excellent information. He is a therapist who is also a childhood trauma survivor. Here's a link to his site regarding EFs and the steps to work thru them - http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

[Feral Child]

I second what Three Roses says.   

I keep copies of the 13 steps (page 3 in the link to the pdf) at my home desk and in my purse.  Because I never know when I'll need the help. 

[Kizzie]

Another resource for thinking about and dealing with flashbacks from an author/survivor I quite like:

Flashbacks: Experience Distress in Safety. Here's an excerpt:

In his self-trauma model, Dr. John Briere proposes that flashbacks are part of the healing process for PTSD, rather than a symptom. Each flashback helps defuse and integrate raw traumatic memory into less charged narrative memory.

The key is to experience the distress of the past within the safety of the present. If past distress entirely blocks out awareness of present safety, the effect is re-traumatizing rather than therapeutic.

I especially liked this:

Flashbacks can contain wrenchingly painful material and interfere embarrassingly with daily life. At the same time, they are a sign of your body's wisdom reaching for healing. Remember to take pride in your survival, your current safety, and your strength as you confront and heal from past trauma.

[Not Alone]

Good article. Thanks for sharing.

I especially liked this:

Flashbacks can contain wrenchingly painful material and interfere embarrassingly with daily life. At the same time, they are a sign of your body's wisdom reaching for healing. Remember to take pride in your survival, your current safety, and your strength as you confront and heal from past trauma.

Me too.

[Violet Magenta]

Thanks for sharing. This has been something that's been particularly confusing for me. Now that I know about EFs, I think I've probably gone through many a day at work, constantly in EF states of overlapping distress. I'd have to struggle to cover these up, and then would be utterly mortified if people noticed. Unfortunately sometimes bullies notice distress and go right for the throat. Something from The Body Keeps the Score comes to mind. Bessel van der Kolk described bullying as often a response where the perpetrator spots something in the victim that triggers a denied, shamed aspect of self, triggering the hostility. It helps to know that now.

[owl25]

The key is to experience the distress of the past within the safety of the present. If past distress entirely blocks out awareness of present safety, the effect is re-traumatizing rather than therapeutic.[/i]

The difficulty for me is that the distress takes over completely. I cannot connect to a sense of safety or well-being at all. How does one manage to safely experience the distress without it feeling traumatic all over again?

[Violet Magenta]

This is a tough one, Owl. I also find it difficult to feel safe enough to do that work. Finding a great T can help, though it can take some time to trust enough and feel safe there. These forums help, when we feel safe with one another to have others witness us somehow and then feel safer going to terrible places, slowly and gently. Trusting yourself and whatever discomfort is happening and that it will pass can be practiced and learned. It can become really interesting then to get to know these dark places and see what we can learn from them. It makes me think of a favourite poem, The Guest House by Rumi:

https://www.thepoetryexchange.co.uk/the-guest-house-by-rumi