Information about Recovery

[Kizzie]

I found when I had cancer back in 2007 I could never get warm and I think you're right, it has a lot to do with what happens physiologically when we experience fear, anxiety and illness.  I would have to take a long hot shower to feel warm again, my toes and fingers especially. 

I have to say that I am a window wide open in the bedroom person except in the depths of winter because I LOVE snuggling under a warm blanket and taking the chill off. It' so comforting    maybe because CPTSD means we're often adrenalized and physically uncomfortable. 

[Armadillo]

Interesting read for me too....I developed an anaphylactic reaction to cold weather when I was 15 and going through the worst of things with fear over my mom's suicide threats. I was spending the night at a friend's house and would have been so scared about being away from my mom and not able to protect her. I remember going inside from playing in the front of my friends house on a chilly evening covered in hives. Ever since then I break out in hives in temperatures colder than 67F/19C. Worse exposures lead to throat swelling, dizziness, and passing out. And just generally I always have a warm drink on me, wear down jackets in the summer etc.

[Kizzie]

Oh no Armadillo, I'm so sorry to hear that!  I actually just saw a fellow rescued in an episode Bondi Rescue (guilty pleasure of mine) who had the exact response you're talking about to cold water. I guess he was OK near the shore where the water was shallow and warm but he got caught in a rip and was pulled out to deeper, colder water and had a reaction so they rescued him and sent him off to hospital in an ambulance. 

I never knew that was something people suffered from - that must be hard to deal with  . 

[Blueberry]

Is healing possible?  Of course I wonder that too. Or sometimes decide it doesn't seem to be so for me.

But today writing in my Journal it was suddenly very clear to me that healing doesn't take place all at once, it takes place step by tiny step. And because healing from trauma involves brain changing (synapses re-aligning or whatever exactly goes on), it seems it can take a while for each little tiny step to really become integrated within me and until that happens, it may take a while for the next healing step to integrate etc etc etc. Healing isn't linear, but it isn't completely non-linear either. Some healing needs to take place before a different sort of healing can take place.

When I wonder if healing is possible, I'm thinking of 100% healing or maybe just 90% healing, but I'm not thinking of the bit-by-bit 45% healing that's already taken place, which shows that some healing is possible!!   Or maybe I'm far beyong 45% healing, I have no way of telling

This realisation feels good to me so I thought I'd share it.