Information about the Inner & Outer Critic

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Elphanigh

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Re: Information about the Inner & Outer Critic
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2017, 10:22:34 PM »
Finally finding this post, as I am starting to want to comabt my overactive inner critic. I read Pete Walkers description, and as I got to the list at the end I realized I can make a check mark for basically every single behavior. No wonder, this is such a strong struggle right now.

Thank you for these resources Kizzie!

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about the Inner & Outer Critic
« Reply #16 on: October 28, 2017, 03:50:02 PM »
 :thumbup:  and   :hug:

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Gwyon

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Re: Information about the Inner & Outer Critic
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2017, 05:11:27 PM »
Re the inner critic and self-compassion...

This has been an epic struggle for me as well. I'm getting some traction with the idea of holding myself with the same unconditional love that I hold my own son. I visualize that child-self at 6mo's old or so and think: "This child was born whole and sound and deserving of love. I will treat him with the same love, care, and protectiveness of a father to his own son".  When I can truly give myself over and believe this idea, it is incredibly powerful and healing.  But it is not easy, as we all know so well how hard it is for us to feel deserving of such love.  I have been committing myself intensely to this idea of self-compassion ("Radical Acceptance", as Tara Brach says it) for well over a year now (yet another layer of healing following decades of work).  And it is only now that I have moments of truly feeling it. I sense that this is the true path, and that I have a long journey ahead as well.

Kindly,
andrew

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Mius

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Re: Information about the Inner & Outer Critic
« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2020, 05:47:20 PM »
Wow...this is a hard one. I've been trying to work on this one for a couple months now and well...feeling like a failure again. It's not that I deserve my love any less than the next person. They just deserve it more. I tell myself all sorts of fantastical things to keep this lie alive. I feel like this one just might be the one to leave alone. The one thing that I can't fix (and I can fix anything hahaha). I know there has been progress since I finally broke so bad I couldn't keep going. Like a Ponzi Scheme finally crumbling down after 30 years of avoidance and distraction. Anyhow I digress.
So we soldier on one foot in front of the other down the path. Maybe one day we will learn to love ourselves as much as we are deserving, but not today.

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about the Inner & Outer Critic
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2020, 05:15:29 PM »
The Inner Critic has been with most of us a long time and ironically kept us safe when we were at the mercy of our abuser like flight, fight, freeze and/or fawn - all strategies for 'keeping our heads down' in a sense.

It becomes entrenched so it makes sense it takes time to dislodge it, reduce it to a whisper.  One step at a time as you say  :thumbup:

 :grouphug:
« Last Edit: August 19, 2020, 05:17:47 PM by Kizzie »