Pete Walker Book and EFs

[Laynelove]

Hi all,

I have just ordered Pete Walker's book From Surviving to Thriving. Has anyone read and worked through this book?

I know it takes a long time, but I was wondering what kind of progress you had made using his techniques. I read a few reviews on amazon saying that people made more progress after reading this book than they did from years of therapy but I don't know if I really trust the reviews on amazon.

I'm also really struggling to understand what an emotional flashback is and I haven't yet been able to identify if I am in one. I know the text book definition, but is anyone able to tell me what it actually feels like? Recently I was texting a guy I was interested in and he said he'd call me to meet up in 20mins or so...but he took like 2 hours to call. When I look back it is something so trivial but at the time I got really mad and sent him an abusive text making me look like a total psycho. I felt ashamed after I sent the message. Is that an emotional flashback? I've heard they can sometimes last up to a week, how do you know when it starts and when it stops?

[arpy1]

tell you what really helped me understand what a flashback is, was reading a bit about it on Pete Walker's website:

www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.HTML#actually 

i think it's about the fourth paragraph down the page.

i have just started reading that book, and it is really helpful. but i can only read a few pages at a time becos it is rather triggering for me. it is quite densely written, but very nicely set out in chunks that you can skip between depending on what you can cope with or what piques your interest.  it's probably the best hands-on resource i've yet discovered re cptsd. 

re your incident with the guy, i would personally bet my hat on it having been an emotional flashback.    for me, when i hear myself saying 'why the ridiculous knee-jerk over-reaction, arpy1?' with all the emotional crap (panic, anger, fear, heart beating, mind going out of control etc etc) that comes with it, then it is virtually guaranteed something's triggering me. but everyone's EF's are unique to them so identifying them for another person is a bit iffy, maybe.

mine can last weeks, but believe me, when they stop you know becos your mind clears and your body stops it's overdrive. i find it's keeping the damn things stopped that is the problem!!!

anyway, hope the link helps, and that you find the book a good resource to use. 

[Dutch Uncle]

tell you what really helped me understand what a flashback is, was reading a bit about it on Pete Walker's website:
www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.HTML#actually 

Thanks so much. Have been looking for ages what an EF was. 
And oh, boy do I have them. Hi  fellas. Hello I guess. Don't overstay your welcome though. 

PS: this link worked better for me: http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD#Flashback . Probably different platforms we use. (I used to be a sort of tech-nerd. Lost track somewhere down the line  )

[sweetsixty]

Hi LaynLove,

We haven't met yet but I just felt compelled to reply!

Pete Walkers book was the best I ever read and the most enlightening. I originally read the excerpts on his website and it was an amazing eureka moment for me that so much of what he said rang so true.

I went on to buy the book and it's still one of my most important reference books which I return to again and again when I forget and fall backwards. It's sits on my bookshelf with Paul Gilbert 'The Compassionate Mind' which my thapist recommended which helps you understand why your brain reacts the way they do to the trauma and how to heal through self compassion.

I am currently reading 'Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal' by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. This is of particular interest to anyone who is suffering chronic pain too or an autoimmune illness as I do (MS) as she links childhood trauma with not just CPTSD but also physical illnesses.

These 3 books have formed the cornerstone of my journey (along with many more), but these three particularly have shown be that mind and body are connected in ways we will never truly understand.

Thanks for the link to Pete Walker Flashbacks Dutch Uncle, maybe that's what's happening with my need to move?? Need to examine that more. Glad to hear you were a tech nerd too, I was originally a network engineer and went on to lecture in Computer Science and Information Systems!

Hope this is useful.x

[Dyess]

LaynLove this is probably one of Pete Walkers most working through fan club He does seem to be the most knowledgeable person on the CPTSD. Enjoy the book.

[Ferzak]

Hello Laynelove and all,

Your response to the delayed text seems that it was in part due to emotional flashback. I don't think it is unreasonable to be annoyed by the long delay but perhaps sending an angry and/or abusive text is a bit of an over-reaction.   But don't beat yourself up!  CPTSD is not an easy or minor little thing.  Emotional flashbacks catapult us back to a time of abandonment and danger and lashing out with our external critic might have been your survival in the past.   There is nothing wrong with letting the person know that you are sorry for over-reacting.  There should be no shame in that.  For me it is important to only have people who understand my situation in my inner circle.

And, as far as Peter Walker.  I am a HUGE fan.  I think he literally saved my life-or at least made me want to keep living. Like many of us on this site, I had been to many therapists and endured many diagnoses including depression, anxiety, eating disorder and "feeling phobia". I pursued many spiritual paths and have been to various workshops.  I even got a degree in psychology and work in psychiatry research.  Peter Walker is the first person to hit the nail on the head as far as what is going on with me.  After reading his books I called him up and I am lucky enough to be in therapy with him.  What I can tell everyone is that it does get better.  I have moments of peace now where I didn't before.  Peter has taught me that it is OK to be as angry as I am...It is OK to hate my parents........that I don't have to force myself to forgive and that I need to mourn the losses of my life as a result of my childhood.  I think in this day and age we are ashamed if we are not happy and joyful and forgiving 100% of the time.   As we have all heard many times, the only way out is through and for those of us with CPTSD it means feeling, venting and mourning...there is no other way.  It is not bottomless though, and surprisingly it starts to feel so much better than suppressing "negative" feelings . Ironically, when you don't force yourself to forgive, forgiveness sometimes comes (and sometimes not-which is OK too).  My current task is learning how to how to hold compassion and even forgiveness and still protect myself. For example,  sometimes I think that I have done enough work to be able to tolerate being around my FOO, that I "should" be evolved enough or healed enough to be around them...I usually pay with a good long EF after a visit...I am not sure I can ever spend much time with my parents or sister.

To wrap this up, I am not sure how long it takes to recover from PTSD and I think it is different for all of us. I have been working with Peter for 14 months and had read his books before then. I have seen great progress in this time, although I did many things for many years before then that probably helped too, if not nearly as much.  I think  As you begin to see that progress is possible, that you can experience peace and happiness, the amount of time becomes less important. You are on the right path Laynelove and even being on this site shows that you are open and already making progress.

[Dutch Uncle]

What an inspiring post, Ferzak. 

Thanks so much.

[Ferzak]

you are so welcome Dutch Uncle.  I have enjoyed many of your posts.  You are smart and wise!