Numbed out turning into a depression dip

[LOM]

  I try to not make mistakes because my dh will have his own meltdown with side jabs toward my failure. As he went off this time I knew I was numbing out to not feel it. He is over it in 24 hours and apologizes but days later I am more depressed because I can't fix the money mistake I made just like that.  I am wondering if I have trauma from the dh over these years of marriage that I need to process. I have remembered and processed childhood abuse but Still  in the process. I am never going to stop hurting.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi LOM and welcome. 

I have a question. Don't feel obliged to answer.
If your husband is 'over it' in 24 hours, does the money mistake/misadventure really still has to be fixed?

It's hard for you that you feel the hurting is never going to stop. I can relate to that feeling.
I hope and wish it will diminish over time.