Information about Parenting

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Kizzie

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Information about Parenting
« on: October 14, 2015, 07:18:22 PM »
Here are some resources about parenting and trauma to explore.  If you have any to add please post them in this thread or PM me - tks!
 
« Last Edit: February 15, 2021, 08:20:36 PM by Kizzie »

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LilyITV

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Re: Information about Parenting
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2018, 08:36:10 PM »
I loved the "Love Letters to Cycle Breaking Heroes".  Even before I sought help for C-PTSD and before I realized how damaging my childhood experience was, I was determined to give my children the childhood I never had. 

The one thing I worry about now whether I am emotionally available enough to my children.  I have just started therapy and I am still trying to process how out of touch I am with my emotions.   Can a person who is so out of touch possibly give children the emotional support they need??

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2018, 05:21:58 PM »
i worried about this too Lily and what guided me through was the fact that I love my son and made every effort to show him and not to let my trauma spill onto him. 

Really, it's all about knowing you're loved and safe and valued imo.  Many of us here did not have this sadly. 

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2019, 08:39:24 PM »
I came across this this morning - The Rise of the Trauma-Informed Mothers.  I love the last para and in particular the last line:

We are standing up, speaking out, reaching out, and lifting our children out of the generational dysfunctions that previously we felt powerless to do. The rise of the trauma informed parent is empowering the systems that foster our recovery to re-think recovery as usual.

Shift is happening.
 

 :thumbup:

See also an article at the OOTS blog "Parenting and the Legacy of Childhood Trauma" Part 1 and Part 2


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notalone

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2019, 08:58:19 PM »
A Love Letter to Cycle Breaking Heroes - http://www.motherhoodandmore.com/2015/12/a-love-letter-to-the-cycle-breakers.html
Today I feel like a failure as a parent, wondering how much I have messed up my kids. I wanted normal, healthy lives for them. How much has my brokenness hurt them? This letter was an encouragement to me. I'm not a perfect parent, but my children are not growing up in a home of abuse. Thanks for sharing this.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2019, 09:21:50 PM by Blueberry »

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Blueberry

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2019, 09:20:59 PM »
notalone, I'm not a parent myself but want to send you some  :hug: :hug: for having to raise children while having cptsd and for the effort you are making to give them normal, healthy lives. I eventually didn't even have the energy to not neglect my beloved Little Furries when I needed to take them to the vet's so I cannot begin to imagine how I would manage to raise emotionally healthy children.

I read the letter you linked - it's great and I'm glad it's encouraging you. (I note there's a little mistake in the link, which I'll try and correct for you. )

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2019, 06:57:17 PM »
Hi notalone - I know all I ever really wanted even as an adult was to know that I was loved, supported and important to my parents and I think most children are the same (i.e., children who know they are loved are resilient).   

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notalone

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2019, 03:31:05 PM »
Blueberry and Kizzie,
Thank you for your encouraging words.

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated Oct 4, 2018
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2019, 07:29:07 PM »
 :grouphug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated 16 Jul 2019
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2020, 06:49:15 PM »
A few more resources I came across -- for parents on how to explain PTSD to their children:

How Parents With PTSD Can Talk to Their Children About Their Symptoms, C. Finch, 2019

Explaining PTSD to Children, Dr. Frank Ochberg

Explaining My Husband's PTSD to My Daughter, L. Farrow, 2016

Helping Children Cope with a Parentís PTSD,  B. Moore, Psychology Today, 2012

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting - Updated 16 Jul 2019
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2020, 04:46:06 PM »
Came across this private Facebook Group today  "Parents with PTSD/C-PTSD".  It looks like there are 5 moderators and they have some good guidelines in place. 

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Kizzie

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Re: Information about Parenting
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2021, 08:26:26 PM »
Saw this book online today and while it's for professionals working with children/youth, it might be of interest - "Conversations that Make a Difference for Children and Young People: Relationship-Focused Practice from the Frontline" by Lisa Cherry, 2021. 

In this unique book, international trainer and consultant Lisa Cherry invites professionals from education, social work and healthcare to engage in conversations on a range of pertinent topics and issues affecting children and young people today.

Divided into three main parts, which introduce attachment, adversity and trauma, each discussion places an emphasis on emotion and the understanding that we have as humans for compassion, empathy and connection.