[Kizzie]

Here are some resources about parenting and trauma to explore.  If you have any to add please post them in this thread or PM me - tks!
 

• Parenting as a Survivor- Article from The Mama Bear Affect, a site for and about survivors of childhood sexual abuse
• Hand in Hand Parenting - Lots of great resources at this site regarding positive, healthy parenting
• Parenting with PTSD: Building Trauma Informed Families - https://parentingwithptsd.wordpress.com/
• A Love Letter to Cycle Breaking Heroes - http://www.motherhoodandmore.com/2015/12/a-love-letter-to-the-cycle-breakers.html
• Parenting with PTSD - https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/parenting-with-ptsd-trauma-ptsd
• 10 Things I've Learned About Parenting with PTSD - https://themighty.com/2017/08/things-ive-learned-about-parenting-with-ptsd/
• Talking to Kids about Personality Disorders - http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/TalkingToKids.html
• Parallel Parenting - http://www.outofthefog.net/SeparatingAndDivorcing/ParallelParenting.html
• Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome - http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/ParentalAlienationSyndrome.html

[LilyITV]

I loved the "Love Letters to Cycle Breaking Heroes".  Even before I sought help for C-PTSD and before I realized how damaging my childhood experience was, I was determined to give my children the childhood I never had. 

The one thing I worry about now whether I am emotionally available enough to my children.  I have just started therapy and I am still trying to process how out of touch I am with my emotions.   Can a person who is so out of touch possibly give children the emotional support they need??

[Kizzie]

i worried about this too Lily and what guided me through was the fact that I love my son and made every effort to show him and not to let my trauma spill onto him. 

Really, it's all about knowing you're loved and safe and valued imo.  Many of us here did not have this sadly. 

[Kizzie]

I came across this this morning - The Rise of the Trauma-Informed Mothers.  I love the last para and in particular the last line:

We are standing up, speaking out, reaching out, and lifting our children out of the generational dysfunctions that previously we felt powerless to do. The rise of the trauma informed parent is empowering the systems that foster our recovery to re-think recovery as usual.

Shift is happening. 

 

See also an article at the OOTS blog "Parenting and the Legacy of Childhood Trauma" Part 1 and Part 2

[notalone]

A Love Letter to Cycle Breaking Heroes - http://www.motherhoodandmore.com/2015/12/a-love-letter-to-the-cycle-breakers.html
Today I feel like a failure as a parent, wondering how much I have messed up my kids. I wanted normal, healthy lives for them. How much has my brokenness hurt them? This letter was an encouragement to me. I'm not a perfect parent, but my children are not growing up in a home of abuse. Thanks for sharing this.

[Blueberry]

notalone, I'm not a parent myself but want to send you some  for having to raise children while having cptsd and for the effort you are making to give them normal, healthy lives. I eventually didn't even have the energy to not neglect my beloved Little Furries when I needed to take them to the vet's so I cannot begin to imagine how I would manage to raise emotionally healthy children.

I read the letter you linked - it's great and I'm glad it's encouraging you. (I note there's a little mistake in the link, which I'll try and correct for you. )

[Kizzie]

Hi notalone - I know all I ever really wanted even as an adult was to know that I was loved, supported and important to my parents and I think most children are the same (i.e., children who know they are loved are resilient).   

[notalone]

Blueberry and Kizzie,
Thank you for your encouraging words.

[Kizzie]

 

[Kizzie]

A few more resources I came across -- for parents on how to explain PTSD to their children:

How Parents With PTSD Can Talk to Their Children About Their Symptoms, C. Finch, 2019

Explaining PTSD to Children, Dr. Frank Ochberg

Explaining My Husband's PTSD to My Daughter, L. Farrow, 2016

Helping Children Cope with a Parent’s PTSD,  B. Moore, Psychology Today, 2012

[Kizzie]

Came across this private Facebook Group today  "Parents with PTSD/C-PTSD".  It looks like there are 5 moderators and they have some good guidelines in place. 

[Kizzie]

Saw this book online today and while it's for professionals working with children/youth, it might be of interest - "Conversations that Make a Difference for Children and Young People: Relationship-Focused Practice from the Frontline" by Lisa Cherry, 2021. 

In this unique book, international trainer and consultant Lisa Cherry invites professionals from education, social work and healthcare to engage in conversations on a range of pertinent topics and issues affecting children and young people today.

Divided into three main parts, which introduce attachment, adversity and trauma, each discussion places an emphasis on emotion and the understanding that we have as humans for compassion, empathy and connection.