Feeling hopeless...

[Phoenix]

Just feeling so hopeless... this doesn't seem possible

[tired]

I remember when I had to move out of my ex's house and I couldn't imagine how I could do it.  Somehow since I had never lived on my own I couldn't fathom renting a place and getting my things out.  But I did.  There are so many things I did that I didn't think I could do. Right now everything seems impossible, even getting dressed and even though every day I get dressed somehow (well most days) I still don't feel like I can.  I can only tell myself that somehow I can, I just don't know how.  I can't picture surviving even though I do.  I feel hopeless even though I don't know what I'm hoping for. 

[Kizzie]

  Phoenix and Tired, a lot of us have been where you are. When things were really bad for me (had trouble getting out of bed, hid in a closet drinking at one point), I made a promise to do one thing for myself every day - brush my teeth or make my bed or get dressed, just one little thing. Some days that took every ounce of energy I had, but it was like this tiny bit of reassurance that I was not giving up despite the despair and hopelessness I was feeling.

I was never one to ask for help, but I was sinking. I finally told my GP everything that was going on. Two years later between therapy, medication and coming here I am not struggling to keep afloat like I was. Even though it might not feel that way for either of you right now, there is hope and help to get through this. Coming here is a big step out of the mire and every step you take toward recovery adds up until one day you realize you are able to get out of bed more easily, things do not seem as difficult, and that you do not feel as hopeless or overwhelmed. 

A step at a time

[I like vanilla]

Phoenix and Tired, Kizzie is correct. Many of us have been where you are.

Yes, sometimes it does feel hopeless. For me more so when I started than now but some days even now the 'hopeless monster' catches me. But I am getting better at beating him (in my case it is a 'him' but I imagine these monsters come in other genders ).

But, for me, with practice and patience, therapy and hard work, it often does also feel hopeful.

Many of us have started out hopeless and feeling it is not possible. We are now proof that there is hope and it is possible. Yes, somedays are difficult. Yes, somedays we slide into old patterns and maladaptive behaviours. But we are healing and moving forward. You have the same strength, the same skills, the same resilience that we have. With a little practice you will get there too. 

[BigGreenSee123]

I have little more to add to what's been said. Indeed, this will pass. I always remember how frustrating I sometimes found it when people told me that - I didn't think it was true or it wasn't enough ("but I need it to pass right now!"). Hopelessness is excruciating. Of course, though, I always made it out the other side. I have confidence you can too. Just start with one task if you can. I realize it might be a weird reference but I honestly sometimes think of that fish from Finding Nemo - "just keep swimming..." And while you wait for the storm to pass, you've got folks on here who understand. We are with you. I hope you are feeling better soon 

[Phoenix]

Hi All,

Thank you so much for your encouraging responses... times are definitely tough and each time I think I've hit rock bottom... I find it's just a ledge I'm slamming into on my way further down...

Really not sure what to do when I dread each additional minute I have to exist... but life has a way of just continuing on... so I guess I continue on too... and things will change - for better or for worse... as they always do...

I'm not sure I'm up to 'just keep swimming' - but I'll hold my breath a little longer and see where the current is taking me...

Thanks again though... it does help to be able to voice pain and be met with such support.

[Kizzie]

One BIG recommendation you'll see around heree is to take baby steps because it can be quite overwhelming to deal with a disorder that is, well ....complex.  There's a lot to take in, adjust to and it can be tiring and triggering so many of us have to go slowly and that's perfectly OK/normal. 

Maybe if swimming is difficult, mentally/emotionally flip over on your back and float? Pretend you are looking up at a bright blue sky and notice how warm the sun is and how cool and soft the supporting the water is against your skin. This is one version of a self-soothing and healing technique people talk about here -   mindfulness.  It entails becoming more aware of your pain, but not judging it (e.g., "I shouldn't do or think this or that"), and as a result not depleting energy by swimming or struggling to keep your head above water.  Instead you float with the water rather than fighting the current. In doing so you are able to begin to hear what's going on with the Inner Critic and of the things that trigger an emotional flashback. 

So far that's: 1) take baby steps; and 2) become mindful about what you're saying to yourself inside and to what people/places/situations trigger you and why that might be so. The third and last thing might be: read until you can name what's happening because as one member put it "If you can name it, you can tame it."  For example once most of us find out what an "Emotional Flashback" (EF) is and that there are ways of managing them, they tend to decrease in number and intensity. (See Pete Walker's site -  http://pete-walker.com/)

Glad being here is helping!