I need some input on communicating with my h

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EmoVulcan

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I need some input on communicating with my h
« on: October 20, 2015, 10:07:29 AM »
OK. I have read through a bit.   H is aware of my PTSD diagnosis, he does not believe it.
We live in a tent and are stressed out.  Both 52, I am an empath he maybe too.  I survived CSA, and suddenly I wonder if he has as well, in our arguments, I think we trigger each other.  He claims he is bi sexual, I have never refuted nor tried to change him, he has truly tried to help me in the 10 Yrs we have been married.
Indeed, he has helped me with some much needed perspective, and he reminds me my dd and ds love me, as does he.  He has been my rock, that I try not to cling tight to. 
I am thinking my ic argues with him to defend me...I did not have this concept a few days ago...but I know I quite often become confused and feel under attack and not sure why something I said set him off about how I am lying to myself/him and I have not been interested in healing, just making excuses and justifications...as if depression was not in his corner as well.  Though I have not cast that stone at him, nor many at all I think..
Both of us have attachment issues, he seems to dissociate   into porn alot..I go data gathering and searching for clues , that's how I found this forum...a very old prayer answered at last. 
I do not know how to educate him, he uses anger to block out what he does not want to hear...and he doubts I love him, because I have been avoiding him, intimacy is fraught with triggers for me, maybe him as well.
Should I just let this be?  We have long periods of silent aloneness in each others presence, but we also cuddle and try to care for each other...tough when we both are sometimes nearly unable to move and waiting for the next inevitable "you got to get out of here" and have to find another sleeping spot.  We are both too old to work, too young to retire and too tired for this stress...but any thoughts for me and my mate?   We have a hard time finding positives, and fear we are out of everything but time.

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Multicolour

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Re: I need some input on communicating with my h
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2015, 03:42:26 PM »
Your life right now still sounds really tough. I think if you have stuck together that long you must be able to focus on what he can offer you, instead of what he can't, which I think really helps any marriage. Being kind and calm right now is the best thing you can practice. So difficult given the homelessness you two are experiencing: not a situation that's good for unpacking issues.

CPTSD can qualify as a psychiatric disability- I don't know anything about where you live but is it possible to look into any housing programs for those with disability? It's usually a better bet than general public housing or homelessness housing. It seems unfair to me to expect yourselves to be getting along or sorting problems out when you're living in a tent.