I'm new here today

[Golden Tapestry]

I'm new here today and am not used to forms but am determined to heal.  I've spent my life angry, hurt, devastated, confused and scared.  Always so scared.  Abuse started just before age five and I am 51 now.  I don't want to be scared anymore.  I want to take back what was taken from me over these many years.  My Soul, My Essence, Me.  The little me that didn't have a choice and the grown woman that I wasn't allowed to become.   

[Kizzie]

Welcome Golden Tapestry, you have come to the right place     I love that you are so determined to take back/reclaim your spirit!     

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello golden tapestry -
Thank you for sharing ..
Yes I can relate I am 42 now and it's been a long journey out of the storm - and mainly I feel it today - my main aim in life was to feel mentally more stable and I am getting there now
Feeling scared is something I still suffer with ( part of cptsd symptoms but somehow it doesn't have as much hold over me these days -

Keep striving each day for you and yes as you say 'your essence ' also remember to have fun I think that's important as cptsd can force us to be serious and very hyper vigilant ( well me anyway
I am lately starting to self care and love better and what that looks like

Peter walkers book is highly recommended here if u wanted to have a look at his website

I've found and am finding this forum so supportive and helpful and to wish you well

[Golden Tapestry]

Thank you both for your replies.  Yes, the need to heal has a tendency to make me so focused and serious but I have a couple of great people around me and am still able to laugh.  I plan on getting Peter Walker's book "From Surviving to Thriving".  I have visited his website and it helps to validate everything that's been going on with me.  I feel blessed that I've finally been able to put into words (or at least read someone else' words) all of the many things that have been wrong.  So glad I've found this place.  Thank you for having me. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

It's great you are here too 💓🌸

[Golden Tapestry]

Thank you Boatsetsailrose, glad to be here