20 years later the lighthouse shines a light!

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HopeC

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20 years later the lighthouse shines a light!
« on: October 26, 2015, 11:23:13 AM »
HEllo my dear fellow survivors. It is hard for me to be here but I am sure so worth it. I was raised in a family with a terminally ill sister by I think a BP Mom and wacky Dad. I married a PD at 18 ( I had doubts but the fog of obligation happened.  He was so charming, and controlling at first. It go worse in the first 5 years but went off the charts when my son was born. That's when the Fear part came in. Threats of physical violence but always veiled with bone chilling laughter. (Won't list all the abuse just the list of NPD behavior fills it all in) ...finally he said something after learning I had gotten my own bank acct and mailbox in another town that made me escape in terror. Needless to say after 20 years I have managed to thrive without him but now realize I fit the CPTSD mold. I want to break free FINALLY!!!!! Hugs Hope

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Kizzie

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Re: 20 years later the lighthouse shines a light!
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2015, 03:54:29 AM »
Hugs back to you Hope - great forum name you picked by the way  :thumbup:  So sorry to hear you developed CPTSD but you are in good company here.  There are lots of us dealing with it unfortunately.  Please have a look around and post wherever feels relevant to your situation.

Glad you found your way here  :hug:

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: 20 years later the lighthouse shines a light!
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2015, 10:13:39 PM »
Hopec

I am finding the forum so helpful
Welcome
Pete walker s website and book 'surviving to thriving ' is often talked of and I am getting a lot from it

Well done on your freedom and that things will never be that way again
Cptsd has taken its toll and it's time to reclaim
When I 'woke up ' I was like what the - what happened

Freedom is all ours and each day feels brighter ( even when tough

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Multicolour

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Re: 20 years later the lighthouse shines a light!
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2015, 01:05:20 PM »
Hi Hopec
Pregnancy and after the first child is born are awful danger times for domestic violence/ domestic terrorism. I experienced a similar escalation of violence at this time. So glad you are safe now. I haven't been writing on this forum very long but I have found it very helpful. Just to keep finding out I am not alone is so reassuring. It's awful and sad that there are so many of but how strong are we!