I Think I Might Be Cured

[Joeybird]

Back again. Just had to let you know how I loved your take on forgiveness.

I'm doing better, and accepting the self that I am now instead of fighting it, being impatient, and putting myself down for it. It's helping a lot.

[NICOLE]

i can relate to so much of what you've said.  so glad you've found your way out.  i'm working on it now, and feeling like i'm a little farther along each day.  and, i agree, this is the hardest thing i've ever known, ever experienced, ever done.  but, if i'm going down, i'm going down fighting.  i will not let them have me anymore.

I know this is an old thread/post, but I love this.  "I will not let them have me anymore". 

[NICOLE]

Very Foggy -

I know this is several years old, but your story resonates so deeply with me.  One of the hardest things about "the veil lifting" is how the new you - the one that stops accepting abuse - often loses almost every single person the old you was in relationship with.  That's something that really made me think it was me, after all.  I'm so inspired by your persistence and commitment to yourself.  Thanks for this post - I usually can't focus on things, but your words had me riveted!

[dollyvee]

Thanks for resurrecting this thread Nicole. A lot of good reflections in here especially the below and VF's thoughts on boundaries and how hard they can be to enact, and how much reprogramming it takes to believe we can have them. That if a boundary is broken there are not fights but consequences and it's not about trying to outwit (control) someone into respecting those boundaries. Unfortunately (?), I think just being close to people triggers me but I think that's probably a boundary issue as well and never having them in an NPD family, and/or being coopted into believing that they weren't relevant when I did have them.

Is to almost immediately decide to start treating CPTSD as a friend, my best friend, and as a warning system that something was WRONG with the way I was being treated. Instead of fighting it or running from it, I embraced it as a friend that warned me when people were behaving very, very badly towards me. Because that is the only thing that triggers me – bad behavior towards me. Don't know if that makes me "lucky" but that is the only thing that ever triggers me into a small EF, on up to a tsunami sized EF.