Codependent Personality

[Dyess]

Anyone else discovered that you have this trait?
"Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and identity. " katimorton.com

[Dutch Uncle]

I'm definitely codependent. It's one of the main areas I'm working on in my recovery.

For me breaking with those who want to keep me codependent is key.

[Dyess]

Okay help me understand this. Why would you need to break from them? Couldn't you just set boundaries with them?

[Dutch Uncle]

If they weren't Personality Disordered, yes.

But I think even with non-disordered people that will be hard.
The quote you used only touches on "codependence", and the rest of the article isn't much clearer.
I'll try to keep it simple, not in the least since I'm in a learning process and do not fully comprehend it yet.
Codependence can only exist between two (or more) people. So there is one person where the codependent relationship works out in a way (s)he is the 'enabler', the one who not only keeps the other (co)dependent, but actively pursues the other's (co)dependency. What's called 'the enabler' in the quote, is quite often actually the 'pusher' (in the case of a 'cluster B'-PD: always (IMHO)). They need the other person to need them. It's how they keep the other tied to them.
For the other person in the relationship the codependency plays out in that they cannot 'get their own act together'. The rely on the 'enabler'/'pusher'. Either because of a pre-existing 'condition(-ing)' (being raised in a codependent FOO for example) or they are forced into doing so by being in a relationship with someone who is a 'pusher'-type codependent. (that person does not necessarily have to be a PD, but might 'just' have 'the fleas' through some sort of pre-conditioning.)
(By the way: I have the impression that 'cluster C'-PD's (Avoidant, Dependent and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorders) are people who are 'groomed' by being raised (or through a long term relationship later in life) by 'cluster B'-PD's. I have nothing solid to back that up though.)

The essence of codependency, as far as I understand, is that 'want' is conflicted with/confused for 'need'. The enabler/pusher needs to be needed, and the other is needy to be needy.
If setting boundaries works, the codependency ends, for both persons involved. In any codependent relationship this is the 'problem' (even with two 'nons') as one party initiates the end of the codependency and the other one is quite happy with the arrangement, and resists the change. (this could be the enabler who stops, or the 'enabled' who wants to take their reigns in their own hands)

In my personal case:
I think that I have always resisted the 'need to be needed' that my female sibling and female parent expected of me, and so they forced me. Everything I have done independently of them has been wrong, and they have made no qualms about it to tell me. I am bad, I am stupid, I'm a sexist, I'm a male chauvinist pig, I have no respect for them, my career has been stupid, the city I live in is horrible, my girlfriends have been stupid and wrong and when I broke up with them I was a women-heartbreaker, "how could you be so rude to them"... the list goes on and on.
I have always been smacked back into submission, and my sis has even become a martial arts teacher to put the fear in real good. As kids she would mostly fight with my brother, and she has choked him more then once. (by her own admission. She blames him for that, of course. Choking is fine  , it's him that made her do it. "Blaming the victim", anyone?)
And I have always buckled under the pressure eventually, and started working on me (!) and 'our' relationship. I came to believe I was the bad boy, if only through my gender. Boy, has the fear of being an "oppressor-by-nature" been put into me. There has been a period in my life where I would halt on the street for five or ten minutes, for fearing the women in front of me would be scared I would do harm to her, since I was gaining ground on her. That's how bad it has been.
For my female FOO-members, boundaries are there to be busted. They'll show me who is boss. Expressing a boundary is giving them ammo. Then they'll know my 'weak spot', and pound me exactly there.

That's why I need to break from them. It truly is not safe to be around them. Before coming out of the FOG, then while going MC and later LC I have had the mental image of me being my sisters punchball. Even a friend of mine said something to that effect at some point. I was so foggy at the time I even questioned if I had not 'implanted' that thought in him, that he was just 'parroting' me. I'm sure he was not, but it took me weeks to get over the confusion. I had never admitted openly (and hardly internally) I was the punchball for MartialArtsSis, and the StudyObject/Barbie-doll(Ken)/guinea-pig of TherapistMom.
I'm only starting to see now how my codependent 'pushers' want me to need them. And I think it's quite telling that the end of m MC/LC came when my female sibling made such an outrageous Emotional Blackmail that even I, through all my Fear Obligation and Guilt, could no longer deny this was crazy and wrong. Very wrong. Sick.
I never even answered to that Blackmail. I was done. I went NC.

edit: made it clearer what I have been to my female parent

[Dyess]

Wow, that's horrible. My situation is nothing like that. I just want to take care of everyone and want everyone to be happy, to the extent I neglect myself and eventually get used up. So in my case boundaries should work for me. But I understand why NC would be your choice. Sorry you had to go through that.