Concentration and memory problems

[tired]

In my case if I'm not asked questions I get triggered and I think it has to do with being neglected and never being asked anything.  Maybe it makes sense to not ask questions unless the person says please ask me questions. For me yes it does start to feel like therapy and that's why I like it but I also can see how in a different mindset I might not like it.  Probably depends on how a person uses the site. Now that I'm thinking about this maybe using it for therapy/analysis isn't a good idea.  I have been feeling like I don't use the forum for hearing others' stories as much. I have trouble focusing on reading them but also I'm self absorbed right now.  I don't feel like I'm in a group so much as searching for someone to give me answers and maybe that's not healthy.

[Dutch Uncle]

PS
I don't mean to cause offence but ....

I really dislike being asked questions on here 

No offense taken. I will do my best to remember that.

Personally, I like to be asked questions. I think it helps me to take a look 'outside the box'.

[Dutch Uncle]

In my case if I'm not asked questions I get triggered and I think it has to do with being neglected and never being asked anything.

Right. I can relate.

I don't feel like I'm in a group so much as searching for someone to give me answers and maybe that's not healthy.

Question  : If you appreciate questions, how can you be 'here' for getting the answers from somebody else? (disclaimer: I might not read what you wrote correctly. It's probably since English is not my native tongue.)

Usually my main 'motive' for asking questions is because I think for a lot 'we' are struggling with, the answers lies in ourselves.
Than I also ask questions out of curiosity.
If I think my questions might be triggering, I tend to remark first that no answer is required.
If I'm practically sure my questions will be too triggering, I keep the questions to myself.

I've only recently discovered that conversations are much more valuable (for me) if I ask questions to others, instead of merely putting out 'my point of view'. In my FOO nobody asked questions, it was always one opinion after the other. There was no interest in each other.
"to be interested in (someone)" has been 'explained' to me recently by a philosopher. He noted that it's derived from the Latin(?) word 'interesse', which literally means (inter=)between and (esse=) to be/being (essence), making it: "that what is in between (two) people."
He also argued that questioning is a great way to explore what is "in between". (Interrogation is something else though  )

Asking questions is for me also a good way to ask about peoples experiences, and get some understanding from beyond the opinions and principles.

[tired]

Because I feel like when someone asks me a question and I answer it (to myself, or out loud, doesn't matter) I figure out things.  The answers are in my head, but they don't come out until someone asks me the right question.  And that seems like what therapy was like; the therapist asking "how do you feel about that". 

[Dutch Uncle]

Because I feel like when someone asks me a question and I answer it (to myself, or out loud, doesn't matter) I figure out things.  The answers are in my head, but they don't come out until someone asks me the right question.  And that seems like what therapy was like; the therapist asking "how do you feel about that".

Thanks.
I feel much the same. I don't have experience with being in therapy though. (Not taking into account my horrible TherapistMom, that is. But than again, she didn't ask me questions, but told how "it is". *shudders*)

[arpy1]

questions and answers:

becos my head is often screwed, woolly, afraid, confused, i guess, yes, i appreciate questions from the point of view that it does help me to find my internal answers or maybe identify what it is i am feeling. stuff like that.  i find prescriptive questions/answers make me feel insecure and pressured, words like should and ought and must and things like 'don't you think that it would be better if...' which makes me feel they are saying i should think what they think or else i am wrong somehow.  haven't particularly experienced that here.

I don't feel like I'm in a group so much as searching for someone to give me answers and maybe that's not healthy.

funny i have been thinking about this today (even put in my journal today). i guess i have got now to the point where i recognise that i can't actually get the 'answers' from someone else.  it's like the knight in shining armour thing for me, i always wanted someone to rescue me from all the pain and fear and confusion and make me feel safe at last.  all that did for me was landed me up in a cult - where i was safe as long as i toed their line.  when i didn't, well, i was persona non grata.  then i wanted my husband to rescue me and meet my needs... that ended up with me meeting his to try and heal him enough to meet mine.... again, that ended very badly for me. so for me it definitely wasn't healthy as it turned me into everyone's willing victim.

so i have concluded there is a paradox - the need for mutual support and comfort, sharing of learned wisdoms, etc is valid. but so is that understanding that ultimately we are the only people who can heal ourselves.  how to do that and where to draw lines and boundaries is, for me at least, a conundrum - but also maybe a journey?

hope this hasn't taken this thread too far off course?

[Boatsetsailrose]

I'm genuinely glad u all like being asked questions
But Im afraid I don't
and we are going off the original theme - ....
If u like to share about any concentration and memory problems I am very happy to hear

I hate being probed that's why I added it into my post -
I see it as co dependence trait ( control and moving away from our own process
Of course questions are asked as genuine interest but underlying it always seems to point to a self absorbed reason

[arpy1]

ha, had to laugh, i just wrote a post here and lost concentration for a minute... and managed to delete it!

what i was trying to say... was basically that i think i use up so much energy in flashbacks/anxiety/hyperarousal/mad thoughts or whatever it is, that when i try and settle to anything, reading, watching tv, even chores, i haven't much left.  so my concentration span is radically reduced from what it was. and when i can't cope with being hyper, i shut down and numb out, and then i can't keep my mind to anything. 

sometimes i think i have gone bonkers. it's weird too, that altho my concentration is screwed, i get very bored at the same time. i have always been very active intellectually i guess, and now i feel like a blob.

memory?  well, let me just mention that i went to the gym today, and had to stop for petrol on the way... got the petrol just fine, even managed to pump the tyres and remember to put the nipple caps back on (often forget that)... and then drove right past the gym... had to detour right round the one-way system to get back to it.  i was spitting nails!

[Kizzie]

Hi yes my long term memory is excellent - I think I put too much pressure on myself ( no surprise there ) I work as a nurse it is information overload and I beat myself for not remembering everything ( perfectionism ) and I compare myself to others ( sometimes 20yrs younger than me -

I'm good enough that's what I am best to remember and I do a good enough job (the

CPTSD does breed perfectionism Boats, my hand is waving in the air lol.   The other part though is we do have CPTSD and that can definitely affect memory. I teach a course about adult learning and as it happens we're just exploring a bit about the brain, memory and the effects of stress, arousal and emotions on memory. 

As a nurse you'll know that we a triune brain consisting of the limbic system (emotion)and reticular activating (instinctual) systems (both primitive), and the neocortex (rational, thinking brain).  It is the limbic system particularly that enhances or suppresses short term memory based on whether an experience is positive or negative.  If what we experience is negative, if we perceive a threat in our environment, our brain will down shift from the neocortex and rational thought into the more primitive limbic system which focuses on self-preservation rather than meaning making and this degrades or even interrupts short term memory. 

Anyway all this is to say don't beat yourself up, you are probably are too hard on yourself and you do work in a busy, stressful profession.  Over the years I  became a consummate list writer to compensate for my STM, and lately in recovery I've learned to de-stress when and where I can so I am not triggering or getting overwhelmed as much as I used to.

Hope some of this is helpful   

[Bimsy]

my symptoms include: paranoia, mild, magical yet manageable psychosis

I am curious about what this is like for you, if you'd like to tell?
I've sometimes wondered if I've had a mild psychosis now and then, last time I felt that I could communicate with spirits 

[tired]

Is it really psychosis if you're aware of it?  I mean if you call it paranoia and psychosis then you are aware it's a delusion so it's not really a delusion is it?

[Bimsy]

Is it really psychosis if you're aware of it?  I mean if you call it paranoia and psychosis then you are aware it's a delusion so it's not really a delusion is it?

Well.. Maybe there just isn't a diagnosis for this sort of thing yet  :bigwink:like with CPTSD!

[seriousann333]

Bimsy
I rarely have these symptoms but when it's usually after being triggered by something such as grief.
I've experienced visual hallucinations of people who have died soon after death and people I've never met. I've seen  bright geometric moving shapes and bright lights with no light source. I've had one experience of auditory hallucinations during a flashback, I heard crying and laughing.

I say they're manageable because I don't get lost in them. I can still function yet ponder the meaning behind them.  The experiences make me ponder my spirituality. I have embraced these experiences yet cannot talk about them with many people because of their negative and judgemental reactions.

I do get lost when paranoid however. Occasionally I have episodes of feeling persecuted. With copious amounts of therapy I can dig my way out of negativity.

I hope this is helpful to you. I'm curious about your experiences.
Seriousann333

[Bimsy]

Thank you so much seriousann333 for telling me!

I think that what you're experiencing would "just" be called hallucinations if we were to ask a psychologist about it, not very common I think but I think I've read somewhere that it could be a symptom of grief so I wouldn't call it a psychosis.
Though I can understand how you might ask yourself questions about the spiritual world, I've done it too.
For me the "spiritual contact" came to me in the form of feelings and fantasies, I thought I had contact with a friends grandfather and started telling my friend about it.
My friend really believed me because apparently I said some stuff that was actually true but there was also a lot of stuff that didn't make sense so I am thinking that we probably really wanted it all to be true even though it might just have been coincidences.

I used to believe in spiritual New Age stuff (just like my N mother) but now I am more sceptical, though I always keep a window open to the thought that my dead father is always keeping an eye on me.
It feels comforting to think that maybe everyone is still there, but just waiting on the other side, and that our spirits eventually will dissolve into the big universe together as one.


I get paranoid sometimes too, usually about people that I have to trust and depend on.
But it usually turns out that I am not entirely wrong, my landlord whom I dislike strongly is avoiding any complaint I have about my apartment so that I have to make several phone calls to other instances to force him to do his job.
The medical system doesn't seem to care so I feel like I have to be one step ahead in order to get good enough service.
And I sort of fear how much control google has over the internet as I have experienced that, when it comes down to it, they'll be watching my actions whether I consent or not.

Also I think a lot about what people think of me if I am unsure about them which has led me to a pretty isolated life since I can find social events to be exhausting.

Everything I don't know can keep me awake wondering sometimes but at the same time it might be best that I don't know the truth about everything.

[seriousann333]

Bimsy thanks for your sharing. I'm trying to figure these symptoms out because I'm fascinated by them. There's a lot of stigma about psychosis. Honestly I'm not afraid of having these symptoms be psychosis, spirituality a grief response. Perhaps all of the above.
I've read about brief reactive psychosis. It's a temporary response to grief which goes away after a few days. This seems like what I was going through.
Some notable experiences I've had: An old trauma of mine was being taken by cps from my birth mother who was having one of her many episodes in public. She was screaming and yelling. Had to be hospitalized. It was trully awful.
She was a highly spiritual person who claimed to see ghosts.
She also did a lot of drugs. I don't do drugs thankfully. I'm wondering if my response is a grief/ trauma response with a genetic influence.
I understand the feelings of being connected to the dead. My birth mother has past on and I feel a strong connection to her as if she's protecting me. It's comforting.