My Momma is a Darn FOO!

[Eire]

I'm new here and posted a bit about my story and the most traumatic event that shaped my CPTSD-Abandonment/Neglect.
But I wanted to take this time to talk about my FOO.
I was diagnosed in October (last month) with CPTSD and it's been a huge revelation.

At this time I spoke to my middle brother about my diagnosis to which he received me very well and told me everyone has to cope with trauma to a certain degree although maybe not as heavily as I have (He works as a LEO). He told me he was proud of me and would be here for me if I needed anything. He has always been fair and incredibly warm with me. I have no ill feelings just some personal guilt and shame about being so withdrawn and at times, unable to go visit him (he lives 2 hours away). It's still hard talking to him because he and my parents have a great relationship, he's essentially their golden child, and I can't always explain how my mother is treating me or making me feel without him getting defensive or upset, although he admits she's got issues, 'blaming' won't fix anything.

I spoke to my mother about it briefly but she has seen the full range of bad behavior. From womanizing, substance abuse, personal theft against her (I've stolen money from her and my father when I was a teenager, partially what spurred them getting so concerned and sending me to a facility in Utah). After all my behavior she is very leery of me, doesn't trust me, even when I was in a 12 step program, lived on my own and had a lot going for me, she has and probably always will be this way. In either case I can't speak to her specifically, I sat her and my father down and told them I'd been seeing a therapist and had been diagnosed with CPTSD/Abandonment.
I think she doubts it but on many occasions she's told me to 'get my stuff together (meaning get a job and be independent)', "figure it out" and been very short and condescending a lot of times. She herself has anxiety and takes medication for it but it honestly, might allow her to function but she sometimes herself is such a mess with paranoid ideations, always waiting for the other shoe to drop as they say. I struggle with my feelings for my mom, in one hand I want love and support, on the other hand I can't stand how she treats me, the only help her and my father offer at this point is a place to rest my head. She used to give me rides if I needed to go to work or something but about a year ago I got caught in bad weather 10 miles from home and was walking. I had to call my Dad for a ride or walk 10 miles in a small snowstorm. He was sick and my mother answered. She came to get me but she was furious, told me "I got myself out there I could get myself home" she also called me a 'parasite' to the family and said a lot of other things I don't remember because I began to hyperventilate, "see-red" and I just completely shutdown and 'black/brown outed' the rest of the ride home, when she called me a parasite it struck a heavy cord in my stomach and chest. It's very likely after taking with my therapist that I'll be taking a break or a permanent backseat in her regards, I currently don't have enough going for me or thick enough skin to take her verbal abuse when she lashes out, seemingly unprovoked. I almost pity her but it's tough because I did behave really horribly as a teenager, did a lot of things that would concern a parent.

I spoke to my father about my diagnosis and told him I'm not very comfortable with him and my mom joking about his passing.
They joke about my father only having 5-10 years left, sometimes seriously telling me "I don't have forever" to grow up and get it together. My father is a natural people pleaser. He cut me off financially (despite being close to affording a car) because of my mother, she worries I'll spend my money on substances or something else and so, since she mistrusts and worries, I can't be trusted to 'do the right thing', it's petty and humiliating, especially when I don't always feel like 'a man', she makes me feel very small and unworthy of the simplest of things. Makes it hard for me to grow my self-confidence when nobody else places confidence in me. I brought up the subject of 'Utah' once and he got real mad real quick and said "That was a long time ago (decade, almost 15 years now), I wish you'd just get over it and move on, and I don't appreciate you bringing it up".

My eldest brother thinks I'm a selfish loser that doesn't like the family, I did not share my diagnosis with him or try to reconcile and apologize to him yet. He lives out of state but avoids contact with me even on phone calls. He has a family of his own and four kids, but I fear I've been too isolated and withdrawn from him for too long and he is trying to severe ties so my nieces and nephews don't have to interact with their Uncle who is struggling, in short he thinks I'm a drama king.

So it's pretty normal, everyone wants me to get my stuff together and be 'OK'. But they are pretty much done putting forth any effort with the exception of my middle brother. My father and mother are both in their 60s-70s and I think just want to retire somewhere and not have to deal with my drama.

Unfortunately when I shared my diagnosis with my family my parents gave me a 6 month ultimatum.
I have 6 months to find work (of which I haven't had a REAL job in 3 years), get car and get an apartment.
My therapist is great but I want to get on with my life and not feel like a 'burden' or 'parasite', I want to have someone real in my corner but presently I'm all I've got, and I don't blame anyone but myself, I pushed away all my friends and burned all my bridges with isolation and silence or outright condemnation of them and telling them off.
But, I'm glad I'm here and have found this place.
Any insight is helpful as I'm at a total loss with my family presently, I have been focusing on getting a job and I'm sure something will pan out soon. 
Hope you laughed at the title, it was worth a chuckle.