A team abuse

[Survivor]

Hi all I'm new to the forum,

My story is long and complicated, so I'll try to limit the details here.

To put it shortly, I'm up against two siblings (regarding our aging parents) who have Narcissism and (I think) Histrionic personality disorders. As I'm watching them circle me like sharks.

They got caught lying to me about something important that I found out from a stranger. When I confronted them (believe me I had to, or I wouldn't have), they did the following:

1.) Collaborated and sent one sister after me (like two car salesmen)
2.) This first sister ignored any comments about what I learned and turned the tables on me, acting like I was attacking her. When I stood firm ...
3.) She kept sending texts to push my buttons. When I stood firm ...
4.) The other sister activated and sent a warm email, acting oblivious, inviting me out to lunch ... when I confronted her as well, standing firm ...
4.) She went Jerry Springer on me and started the "I'll never forgive you" and "there are no words for you". She then ordered me to stop texting her (I was responding to her texts). Now she's threatening to exclude me from a relationship we don't have.

By the way, the lie I caught them in was moving my little old parents out of the town I live in. They're acting like my reacting to the fact that I learned this from a stranger is so unreasonable and it's cruel for me to resist them.

No wonder I'm so messed up!

[arpy1]

you have a tiger by the tail, certainly! but, all credit to you, you are dealing with them so well. hat off to you, survivor!   

[Survivor]

Thanks! I'm just waiting till they hit the right button and I come undone They want me to tip over and the only way I can stand firm is to LIMIT EXPOSURE!!!

[arpy1]

exactly. and if you do come a bit undone, try and ensure that you are wherever they aren't, so they can't make like vultures!!  much support to you, dear heart!   

[V]

Survivor, just read your story with horror - brought back memories - my family was more subtle than that - I was the black sheep, introduced well into adulthood by mother as "oh, and this is the bad one" ... only because I saw and knew them and didn't want to be a part of them so I was labled the bad one ...

Anyway, get away from all that, please - no one needs that and you have so much of a chance for a sweeter life without that misery - who needs that ? no one ... yes limit exposure and well I basically disconnected and just moved on in life with me and my sanity and did well I must add - they in fact, did not do as well so there is that!

they will always try to draw you back to the circle, because they need someone to abuse - it's the cycle of course - so just break your spoke and get off the wheel completely - you truly do not need them anyway ... get out there and be free to shine and grow and love and learn and enjoy life as it should be - without drama and stress by the "crazies" I call them ...

Kudos! and Peace by with you!!!

[Jewel]

  Good for you, Survivor, for standing firm.  Not easy to do but it gets easier the more one does it.  I also agree with the wisdom of Arpy1 and V.

5 years ago I completely DIVORCED myself from an abusive older sibling.  I simply cut her out of my life.   I was calm and civil when I ended the relationship--and she was HYSTERICALLY SCREAMING and HATEFUL in her words.  I cut her out of my life because I came to realize that the only benefit of our being in touch was to her--she got opportunities to be abusive.

While the majority of the abuse I experienced came from my severely narcissistic and also psychopathic older sister, my 2 other siblings sometimes joined my older sister in abusing me. 

I only have occasional phone contact with a younger sister and no contact with my older siblings.  While I miss having family (both my parents are deceased), I'm MUCH happier not having horrible people in my life.  And separating myself from my siblings was hard--I'm Italian and family is VERY treasured in our culture.  But I happened to be born with truly * siblings, so I had to let that cultural expectation go.

You sound strong--so keep keepin' on.  I wish you much peace in your journey.