I would really appreciate some advice/thoughts.

[Convalescent]

I'm struggling with my FOO. My brother asked me earlier today what I was doing on new years eve. I said that I didn't have any plans, and I thought about staying at home alone, making a meditative quiet thing for myself. Then he said that he was supposed to be at a friend (of ours, as it is, even though I feel he has imposed on him/my friends and invaded my privacy - made my friends his own sort of, in a strange and abrupt way), but he canceled, so if I didn't "have him over" (in lack of other words) he didn't have anywhere to stay and had to be all alone. I replied that I'm probably gonna stay at home - I don't feel like partying, I don't have it in me now, and I don't know about anything happening this year. He replied "I'll stay home alone, then".

And, it is of course emotional blackmailing. Even if it's not his intentions, even if it's clouded in despair. I know my brother has issues, and I know he has abandonment issues. Pretty deep. Nevertheless, this touches on my issues, and it touches pretty deep to the core. And I'm pretty positive I won't have a good evening... he's pretty ... exhausting, in lack of other words. He takes up quite a lot of energy, and if he comes, we'll probably head out to town after midnight, where we'll probably meet friends of mine, which I already feel like he's imposing on. I feel like worlds are colliding, so to speak. Too much of my life is coming together in one place. And I know there will be drinking if he comes tomorrow, and that doesn't make a hard time any better. Well, it does, for a day, and then several bad days afterwards.

Then again, he's my brother, my FOO, and he struggles. But I really don't like being blackmailed into making a decision. I don't wont to spend time with someone on new years eve just because of a guilty conscience. Isn't that what the rest of the christmas are for? But I feel sorry for him. And I don't want to make new years eve any worse for him than it has to be. And just as I write, I go back and forth on this.

[NatureGirl]

Your story resonated with my circumstances. I'm so appreciative of all the stories on these forums that scream at me that I am just like you (emotions) but we have Different circumstances (plot). I'm alone this NYE as well. I find I just cannot deal with anyone at all, socialising and putting on the party face. Im an introvert anyway, I think, that might be up for review as well given that I retreat into isolation as it is a familiar place.
I'm flooding daily and it's too vulnerable. Are you feeling too vulnerable? If yes, then you can put your needs first. Learning to break long held patterns that put us outside life. I imagine guilt will accompany any boundaries you set, even if he didn't say anything. Silence can also be a condemnation. I've been seeing a bit of that lately!  You are only responsible for you. Serve your inner child. It's a good resolution and it's powerful. We have been neglected all our lives, and we also neglect ourselves.

Hugs. 

[Dutch Uncle]

Then again, he's my brother, my FOO, and he struggles. But I really don't like being blackmailed into making a decision. I don't wont to spend time with someone on new years eve just because of a guilty conscience. Isn't that what the rest of the christmas are for? But I feel sorry for him. And I don't want to make new years eve any worse for him than it has to be. And just as I write, I go back and forth on this.

I think your last paragraph sums it up pretty well.
This is easier said than done, but you are not making his new years eve any worse by doing what you want to do this night. You don't have to help him with his struggles if it makes you uncomfortable and will make your new years eve harder than it has to be.

I can relate. I will not visit a friend's party, I'm not in the mood. In a way I find it hard to cancel, but I find it harder to come and party.
My brother had wanted me to see over the course of the last weeks. He struggles too. But I can't see him and his family who are pretending everything is fine and dandy, when everybody knows it's far from good in this family of theirs. I am fighting my sense of Obligation, and feel Guilty for not visiting them.
Yet I know I will feel bad if I come and play the pretense-game.

What plays a part for me as well is that both this friend and my brother know that I'm struggling, but do they show any care for me? No. As long as I pretend all is well, I'm welcome.
I could do this, and probably head out in town to have a good time, but I would have appreciated of both of them would have made an effort to drop by in the 'bad times' and had offered some sort of support, if only by showing their faces.
I did this for them, multiple times.

I don't think I'm being vengeful or sour, but I need more nurturing people around me. And I don't have the energy to keep on nurturing them.
So I'll choose to nurture me. And by staying away from them, I'll have more nurturing to give to myself, instead of spending it on them.
I want to be free tonight, and not tied up to Obligation.