The Sinking Feeling

[GettingThere]

When I'm at my most extreme level of depression, or when I'm having an extreme panic attack, I get something that I call the sinking feeling. It's a physical sensation that overcomes my entire body, and it feels like all of my limbs and my torso are incredibly heavy and sinking deeper and deeper under water. It usually starts in my chest and then spreads quickly to my limbs. None of the doctors I've spoken to have heard of this before. Does anyone else get this?

[eva]

yes I get this. sort of. a bit like going under water, but for me also as if the life force was draining from me and I am slowly dying... it's awful. my therapist asked me what did I sense that it might be about and I said I thought it was very young infant, unheld and feeling alone. not trying to suggest that's what it is for you but sensing and intuiting what's the "meaning" of this might be helpful

[GettingThere]

I just had a revelation of where my sinking feeling probably comes from! Thanks Yvette  I think it comes from all the times I was pinned and held down by abusers that were heavier than me. Which made me feel powerless and kind of like I was drowning. And I always get the sinking feeling when I feel powerless so that makes sense

[woodsgnome]

"The Sinking Feeling" seems ever with me, always within arms reach of discouraging me, yet again. I pin my hope on my own words "seems ever with me" as that leaves an opening, but every time I reach for it, it recedes again, disappears. It's mental/physical repercussions are huge and all-encompassing, as GettingThere and Yvette have shared.

I call mine "The Ache" and described it here:

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=2224.0

[Survivor]

I do believe, it is so important to heal that inner loneliness through our connection with ourselves/ healthier relationships.

I don't know why this comment just hit me like a brick. A connection to ourselves... I've been really struggling with the sinking feeling and knowing that connection is the key, but not really knowing what that means when I'm alone. I've also been working on feeling my feelings. This comment just brought it home for me. Feeling feelings IS connecting with others and (when alone) ourselves. That might be a blinding flash of the obvious, but how helpful.

I do so relate to this thread. Thanks for posting!

[steamy]

I was going to post a thread about this today, I have been having that feeling intensely over the past few weeks, most of all when I wake up. For me its a feeling of dread and being in trouble, waiting for something to resolve, like when you have been caught doing something bad when a child and waiting for the punishment. I really feel in need of comfort and love. I live alone and work alone, the people I work for are relying on my skills to create a new project in the Middle east, as I have only been on the job a few months and I am striving to pay down debt from my last period of unemployment, I don't get out much so I don't have any friends here. I am worried that if this job collapses I will go home and be back in the position of trying to service debt with no income.

[arpy1]

hi Steamy, sending you a big hug and support  i can relate to what you say!

I wonder if the sinking feeling and the expectation of some sort of punishment is related to the fact that you have a lot riding on this job and the particular project you're engaged in at the moment?  maybe it's all linked to how it can feel when we are called upon to perform tasks or to succeed in some way and that can be an anxious kind of thing?

anyway, whether or not that's the case i wish you success and the comfort of knowing that here on this site, people are rooting for you. 

[bruisednotbroken]

I can totally relate to the sinking feeling, and it being connected to a feeling of "being in trouble". I get that feeling when I hear that tone in my NM's voice. You know, the tone that tells you without a doubt that abuse and cruelty are just over the horizon, and are headed your way?

I've always been so hyper vigilant when it comes to NM, that as soon as I see even a slight change in body language or facial expression, I get the sinking feeling. And I must say... I'm never wrong about what's coming. (I'm not sure if that's because I have become very adept at reading her, or because the abuse is always just over the horizon anyway.)

I do find that now that I'm on the road to both discovery and recovery, that feeling isn't lasting as long or hitting me quite as hard. In the past (before the beginning of this year) when that feeling would hit me I would be completely preoccupied, stressed out, and having flashback after flashback for days on end. This would last until I knew what form the impending abuse would take and I could "deal" with it head on.

Wow! I wrote that last sentence and all of a sudden I could hear her voice in my head saying, "When you really want to punish a child, make vague threats. When they don't know what you'll do, their imaginations do most of the work for you!" She would always say this to others in front of my sister and I, and then laugh at how scared we would be of her. It's no wonder I get so stressed when I feel something coming, and don't know what it is!!