Hi
Auraclemom
Welcome to Out of the Storm. Let me first congratulate you on your daughter.

Quite a history you have had, very stressful indeed and very triggering for cPTSD.

You are in a tough spot regarding the biological father of your child. I understand you ask for advice, but such advise is not easily given. So many factors are in play, and only you can be the judge of them. So I'll refrain from giving any direct advise.
I want to inform you about an associated site to OOTS called
Out of the FOG:
Out of the FOG is an information site and support group offering help to family members and loved-ones of people who suffer from personality disorders.
Since you have mentioned some mental health issues in the biological father, visiting that board might be of aid to you too.
They have a special section/forum on
Co-parenting and Secondary Relationships. There will be many members there who are in a similar situation as you. You can read on their experiences, past and present, and I think this will be an excellent peer-group for you.
In addition to talking these things over with your therapist, but I assume you've come here to get some other input/reflection besides that.

Perhaps the
Toolbox they have there may be useful in your situation as well.
Now, I don't want to scare you away

,but for the particular subject of Co-parenting (or not) with the abusive narcissist that site and community will probably serve your interest better.
At OOTS, we welcome people who are dealing with cPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us, and for that part you've arrived at the right place.
Welcome.

In the
cPTSD Glossary you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSDOn BoundariesIn this section of this board we focus on how cPTSD affects our relationships with others, and so you're more than welcome to share how your cPTSD presents itself in your relationships with your ex, your new partner and/or your kid, or anybody else.
There's no need to be very vigilant in posting what on what site, with you they are intertwined by default, I just want to point out that for yourself you may find one specific event/situation more apt for one site and another more for this.
I think you have posted some excellent questions regarding co-parenting, and they show you are pretty aware about the pro's and con's. Apart from your own deliberations and decisions you might also get to deal with legal matters, it may not be your decision alone.
I think that in any case the
The 50% rule will help you whatever the outcome of co-parenting, or not, will be.
Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD, our
Guidelines for All Members and Guests may help you in keeping this a safe environment for you and to get an idea of the community we create with each other.

Dutch Uncle.