After all these years.....

[hideouskinky]

I have just been diagnosed with C-PTSD.  For years and years I've suffered without knowing what I suffer from - I've been misdiagnosed so many times with depression of some sort, which has never 'fitted' how I actually feel.  I've walked in this fog that never seems to lift, since I was a little girl and for so long, have felt disconnected from my life without knowing why.  Now while my diagnosis scares me, it also makes me feel somewhat relieved, as now I have a 'name to put to the face' and can recognise it for what it is.   They say knowledge is power and I hope that learning to know and understand my condition, will empower me and help me to learn to live with it in a more positive way. 

[Spunout]

I can totally relate.  I was reading a paper about 6 months ago, and got such a shock when I read the description of Complex Post Traumatic Stress.  Felt like someone had spied a secret without me knowing!  It's set me on a journey like you, to try and work out the way out of it.  And like you, I also feel a lot better knowing what's going on, and being able to put a name to it.  Good luck darlin!  May we both find our way out of the fog

[I like vanilla]

Yup, I too got misdiagnosed a few times. When arguing that 'no, that diagnosis doesn't fit' the responses were inevitably 'you're in denial'. I finally said to one therapist 'I GET that something is not quite right in me, but it is a DIFFERENT not quite right than what you are saying'. His response? 'Then what do you think it is?' Of course, I had no answer; unlike him I had not gone to school to learn psychology. But of course my not knowing proved not only that I was in denial but that, because I finally got frustrated and grumped at him must also have something, as yet undiagnosed, else...  

In the meantime, it was CPTSD, which does resonate with my responses to life situations. I have only known about the CPTSD which a health care professional finally recognized in me as he had a background in working with people who had experienced very severe childhood traumas.

All of that said, I think that the people who make-up the DSM (and likely those who make-up the curricula for psychology degrees) have done a disservice to all of us, both clients and those who are working to help us in our recovery processes. That they fail to recognized CPTSD means that it is difficult for us to get a proper diagnosis and therefore to get proper treatments. I read Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's book, 'The Body Keeps the Score' and later watched him speak on a Youtube video that Kizzie posted on a different topic. In both he expresses frustration that despite multiple studies, huge amounts of evidence, letters of support from those working with people suffering from psychological injuries due to trauma (like those of us with CPTSD), there seems to be an almost willful unwillingness to recognize CPTSD as a legitimate diagnosis, and to fund research on treatments that can help us to get better. It's very discouraging but also a light in the dark that people like van der Kolk continue there work to have us recognized and to do research on how to help.

[CheeseLikesCereal]

Me, too.  I'm turning 50 this year and I have recently been diagnosed.  While it explains it and it feels good to have a name on it....it's scary as *.  The occurrences today have flashbacked me into fear and anxiety.  And I know it won't ever go away.  I need to learn to cope better.