Neat Tool for IC Work

[Kizzie]

I did get out the crayons because my IC has been quite cranky and it was helpful in that she had a lot to say about the work meeting and the know-it-all person that triggered her. So that was good but my older self felt a bit ashamed of her behaviour (basically she had a  hissy fit), so I did my best to reign in my critical parent side, did what I could in terms of validation and soothing, and then promised her we were going to put it away for the holidays and would take it up with my/our T in the new year. I don't feel like I'm quite ready to poke around in there without some support.

Morph - Sorry to hear it isn't happening for you - given that your dominant hand was shaking I wonder if it is a bit too much too early?  I had a rather big EF after my ICs first and only public outting in T so far (something else triggered it but we think it's because she was close to the surface that I reacted to the trigger more intensely than I might have otherwise), so we are going much more slowly now.

BM - That's great that you're able to get in touch with your IC and I love the idea of giving her a diary.  I haven't seen Forzen but heard it's really good.  My son is home for XMas (he's 22) so we are watching a lot of action and post-apocalyptic shows - no Disney flicks for the guys in the household lol.

[Butterfly]

Morph, when I started I just was doodling with the non dominant hand, mindless scribbles, then a stick figure very similar to what I remember drawing as a child showed up on the paper. That's how I knew she was there. I was content to scribble and walk away from the exercise if nothing had happened and wait until she showed up. Anything else would have felt too forced and too much pressure. Not sure if if my experience helps but maybe just some mindless doodles, no thought or goal in mind, and see how it goes. It may take a few tris before shy IC trusts enough to peek out.

[Badmemories]

  All!

Possible trigger warning Possible trigger warning Possible trigger warning Possible trigger warning Possible trigger warning

I did try left hand writing in diary. I did get a clue about the abuse I was feeling..( I wrote about it in the sexual abuse section started by Sandel) I ask her about it..(inner child)  Didn't get an answer but Did get a clue. The clue was that Who was babysitting for You when Your siblings were born?

So I asked Mom. Who babysit for me when My 1st Bro was born?

I was 3...Your step Dad Who was babysitting for You when he was born..   

When Sis was born? I was 5, Your aunt.  (She was a Christian women, I know she protected me!)

When twins were born? I was 6, and remember them babysitting so not them!  Step grandma and Grandpa  (maybe)

So since it was just a feeling... I think it happened when I was 3... If I was 5 then I think I would have remembered it, at least more than a feeling. for example IF I was 5 I would have had words and maybe a feeling..So at least ONE great Mystery in My life revealed by Pammy Sue!

Yeah! One great victory for Pammy Sue! 

Keep on Keeping on! 

[morph]

Thanks Kizzie for the kind words.  I'm also suspicious that I may have been trying to do this to early - I think it was Rain that suggested that it might be easier to get your Critic under control first before doing too much with the Child.  I wish there was a better road plan of how to arrive at our desired destination!

And I've started trying to do other things with my left hand like brushing teeth.  Although it may be good dental practice (love trivia), I felt very self conscious and decided I was taking too long in the shower.   Not sure if my reluctance with this is; Inner child fear or just a bit too 'healy feely' (if you know what I mean) for me.  Don't want to cut myself off from this line of thought (Ha -I guess I've just answered the question to my dilemma) but also don't want to put too much faith in something so abstract.  I have a long history of only believing what I can personally see or touch - stops me getting lied and tricked all the time (maybe).

[anosognosia]

Anyway, quite an experience and recommend it as a great tool for connecting with your IC.

I just did this, only a few exchanges. Brought tears to my eyes. Really good exercise. Thank you for making me do this.

[flyingfree]

I just did this today, also with the prompting of my T. Wow. I really didn't think it would work, but boom, out it all came.

Nothing I didn't know already, but it was useful to see what that little girl was really feeling.
I feel pretty sorry for her now, but in a quite detached way. Maybe because it was all there anyway? It's hard to explain.

Today I brought a kids pen with a bright pink flamingo on it (not for this exercise). I realised that I liked it because my IC likes it, which is why I decided to buy it!

It's nice knowing she's there and I can access her a bit more easily.

[Kizzie]

I'm so glad it worked for you too CR    I tend toward skepticism so I was quite surprised that it did. It wasn't anything I didn't know about my IC either, but it just felt like we were communicating directly rather than her being there below the surface, kind of distant and foggy (hard to find words to express these kinds of things sometimes I agree). 

I was thinking after reading your post that we should start a thread with positive, silly, fun things to do with/for your IC. Something as simple as buying a pretty pen  because our IC likes it can make a real difference in recovery imo. I think it tells our IC we are there for them, and  it is safe to come out, all things to balance the pain, fear and anger. 

Sounds like a new IC thread to me 

[flyingfree]

This sounds great!

I talked to my T more today and she gave me more ideas on how to engage with my IC so that's good. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but it should be interesting.

Having a thread on fun things sounds like a good idea. Honestly, I think my IC's been lurking for years. My friends have commented how funny they find it that I'm obsessed with cute cartoon cats (ie. Pusheen) and have all this pink stationery and cute screensavers on my phone, yet I'm also a leather jacket-wearing rock chick bogan. I always just saw it as the 'pink side' of me (rather than my 'dark side', as it were). Now I'm more convinced that my IC has been there for years showing herself in that side of my personality.

[Kizzie]

The pink side of you, that's a wonderful way of looking at it CR. It does sound like your IC as been there all along and how wonderful you don't have to dig her out of some dark corner.  Mine was pretty buried away and very, very fearful so it took coming up with lots of fun things to entice her out - a giant teddy bear being one gift to her. Nothing pink yet, but she does love funny dogs.  We saw a motorcycle with a dog in the sidecar the other day and if that wasn't funny enough, it was wearing this old leather aviator helmet and goggles.

I did start a "What makes your IC LOL?" thread, but feel free to start another one about things to do with your IC that are fun and positive if you'd like.