Neat Tool for IC Work

[pam]

Fascinating techniques, here! Thanks so much for sharing.

I've been trying to do inner child work for ages - talking to her, writing, hypnosis, even using symbols and art to communicate in case she couldn't understand language, but the results have been limited. Tonight I tried writing with my non-dominant hand and guess what, there she was! 

I knew it really was my inner child because the first thing my non-dominant hand wrote was "I want everyone to shut up and leave me alone!!"  I was a cranky child who desperately wanted  more privacy, you see. But I had more or less forgotten that part of myself until it showed up on paper. With just a few questions, other things came out that were quite surprising, things long forgotten but I now remember were once deeply held beliefs. There's a lot there to explore.

Thanks again for the information.

Wow, it sure is amazing isn't it? I'm glad it worked for you. Good thing you didn't give up. For me personally, it was more important that I let her express herself rather than me talk to or support her. Mine want to speak up! When I first started, I had about 6 different 5 yr old versions of myself, but only 2 or 3 really wrote in the diary--the angry one, the sad one, and the spunky one. Your's seems kind of spunky with her strong statement. 

[pam]

She said hello to me.

Yay! 

I talked my boyfriend into doing this too and his inner child is very inhibited, so a lot of the time, he just says hi and then says he is going to go play. 

[pam]

...   


Pam is going to be our head cheerleader in this IC work I think 

Thank you so much Kizzie, i will try as much as I can! 

Really I think this is so worth it. The words "healing" and "therapeutic" were like foreign language words before i started Inner Child work. It's really good to see people are doing it and that it helps too. It would be a real challenge to run across someone who does it and it doesn't help them. I can't imagine it. But I have run across a lot of people who are afraid to do it. And from what little they tell me, it's because they can almost feel them or it's like they already know it will be a lot of emotion, so they are afraid to open that can of worms. And I try to be reassuring of that. It IS scary, but I figure the more someone is hesitant to do it, the more they NEED to, you know?

[Kizzie]

I have run across a lot of people who are afraid to do it. And from what little they tell me, it's because they can almost feel them or it's like they already know it will be a lot of emotion, so they are afraid to open that can of worms. And I try to be reassuring of that. It IS scary, but I figure the more someone is hesitant to do it, the more they NEED to, you know?

Yup sigh, I do know - well said.  Lead on Miz Pam!   

[Badmemories]

Posted by Pam:

I made it age appropriate--had a lock and key, with Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty on the cover, used crayons, and sat in a chair that I don't normally sit in. I also bought small toys for her like a can of play-doh or a yoyo which I sometimes would actually pick up and handle for a while thinking of her. Another thing I remember doing was laying down with a teddy bear and taking a short nap (I hate naps!) Bot for the most part I had started this writing so she would get it out and leave me alone. I know,,,,this goes against the "embrace and love your inner child" rule. I also was completely incapable of anything resembling "self-compassion." Where was I supposed to have learned that? So I "let" her write.


Soon after I started, I did notice something...for the first time in 7 yrs of seeing counselors and reading self help books, etc. I actually felt emotional relief after letting her write. EVERY SINGLE TIME! It was like a miracle and I'd laugh about how weird it was when describing it to my boyfriend. I kept saying "There's a little girl inside me and I never know WHAT she's going to write! Actually I think I'm learning things from her! I like her a LOT! This is so amazing and cool!"

Thank You for putting this into a place where I could do it. I am going to go to amazon right now and get me one of those kid diaries. Writing with the left hand sounded ODD to me when Kizzie first wrote it! I am going to try. I have been giving IC a few decisions lately...I asked he what I should eat one day and she said "chocolate ice cream" so I bought it. I was also playing iwth a YoYo but the GD's lost it somewhere... I am going to have to find it!  ...

[Butterfly]

She said she's ok because I'm strong for her now and she told me she likes tea parties. Bad memory for me but good memory for her. Unexpected. She also reminded me I used to color with crayons in my 20's and told me that was her. Also unexpected.

[Badmemories]

like tea parties? That is so funny... when I was active on eBay I bought several children's tea sets! I packed them away in My house somewhere not sure where! I did research and find a old doll that I'd had as a kid I bought that too! It sits on the shelve in My living room,

I have always had a problem with playing with the gd's and also with My children... when they ask me to play with them I always turn them down.  I do not know why I do not like to play with them..I feel silly,... I am going to try and think about that! 

[pam]

Posted by Pam:

I made it age appropriate--had a lock and key, with Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty on the cover, used crayons, and sat in a chair that I don't normally sit in. I also bought small toys for her like a can of play-doh or a yoyo which I sometimes would actually pick up and handle for a while thinking of her. Another thing I remember doing was laying down with a teddy bear and taking a short nap (I hate naps!) Bot for the most part I had started this writing so she would get it out and leave me alone. I know,,,,this goes against the "embrace and love your inner child" rule. I also was completely incapable of anything resembling "self-compassion." Where was I supposed to have learned that? So I "let" her write.


Soon after I started, I did notice something...for the first time in 7 yrs of seeing counselors and reading self help books, etc. I actually felt emotional relief after letting her write. EVERY SINGLE TIME! It was like a miracle and I'd laugh about how weird it was when describing it to my boyfriend. I kept saying "There's a little girl inside me and I never know WHAT she's going to write! Actually I think I'm learning things from her! I like her a LOT! This is so amazing and cool!"

Thank You for putting this into a place where I could do it. I am going to go to amazon right now and get me one of those kid diaries. Writing with the left hand sounded ODD to me when Kizzie first wrote it! I am going to try. I have been giving IC a few decisions lately...I asked he what I should eat one day and she said "chocolate ice cream" so I bought it. I was also playing iwth a YoYo but the GD's lost it somewhere... I am going to have to find it!  ...

I hope you are having good connections with your inner child. I think that's great about the chocolate ice cream. Something like a decision of what to eat--that's something little kids like to be asked, huh.  For me the diary gave her a sense of safety and a real tangible place for her to live.

[pam]

She said she's ok because I'm strong for her now and she told me she likes tea parties. Bad memory for me but good memory for her. Unexpected. She also reminded me I used to color with crayons in my 20's and told me that was her. Also unexpected.

That's interesting about the crayons in your 20s--are you an artist? What kind of drawings were they? I'm an artist but i could never do anything that didn't look childlike with crayons, lol.

[pam]

like tea parties? That is so funny... when I was active on eBay I bought several children's tea sets! I packed them away in My house somewhere not sure where! I did research and find a old doll that I'd had as a kid I bought that too! It sits on the shelve in My living room,

I have always had a problem with playing with the gd's and also with My children... when they ask me to play with them I always turn them down.  I do not know why I do not like to play with them..I feel silly,... I am going to try and think about that! 

OMG!!! This made me remember something! In my 20s and early 30s, I was depressed a lot and felt like a failure for not having a family (I never had kids). But you saying how you felt uncomfortable playing with them--that made me remember how I wouldn't even go into a toy store at the mall with my boyfriend who wanted to go in and look at stuff. I totally didn't understand why. I was completely out of touch that I had an inner child at that time, and since we didn't have kids,  i (logically) didn't see any reason for us to go in there. But you know what? It was more than that--it wasn't just logical, I had an AVERSION to it. Now I think it was partly that I might start crying from the jealousy I had over not having kids, but I also see maybe it was that I was NOT going to let Little Pammy wake up by doing something she might like (not knowing she even existed at the time). IDK, it's confusing, but really weird! I forgot I even used to have that aversion!

After I discovered the Inner Children, I have bought a lot of toys for them. Like you, BadMemories, i got a specific book on ebay that I remember having--a big red storyland book that has fairytales and Disney stories in it. It was actually from the 1970s too, old, but in good condition. Then i also used to subscribe to Highlights Magazine for Children so I bought 6 copies of those too--ones I probably actually had from the early 70s. I say I am going to use the pages for decoupaging projects.....once I get good at decoupaging, that is. That way they won't just get recycled into the garbage. 

[Kizzie]

I knew about Inner Child work through Adult Children of Alcoholics years back, but when it came up in the group I was attending that was about the time I quit - surprise! Obviously I did NOT want to let her out, I think because like you Pam I didn't want to wake her up.  I think I felt like she would start to cry and never stop, that I would not be able to deal with her. 

Even today when I'm facing IC work, I am afraid because it's at the core of my CPTSD and that pain is not something I want to face.  However, as you suggested in an earlier post Pam  it's where I most need to go and I have been trying.  I am trying to sit longer with what I think is the abandonment depression Walker talks a lot about, and to comfort her and to help her to understand that was then and this is now and things are much different.  I also am trying to balance the painful stuff with fun. I went to drumming class on Sat and had a hoot again, so much so I actually bruised my index finger!  My H likes to sing the song "I don't want to work, I just want to bang on me drum all day" as we drive there and back which absolutely delights younger me.  I also got her the giant teddy bear which is propped up in a corner near my side of the bed (he fills the entire corner), and makes me laugh every time I crawl into bed as he's looking at me with this big grin. Sometimes if I am reading I will snuggle up to him.

This afternoon we are headed into town and one of my stops will be Dollarama where I plan to get some crayons for Kyle (my IC) - writing with the opposite hand using crayon will likely make her pop out. The modelling clay sounds like fun and and maybe other craft things like stickers and glitter too. 

Onward with IC work! 

PS - I had a tea set too and I loved it - must see if that's packed away somewhere.

[pam]

I knew about Inner Child work through Adult Children of Alcoholics years back, but when it came up in the group I was attending that was about the time I quit - surprise! Obviously I did NOT want to let her out, I think because like you Pam I didn't want to wake her up.  I think I felt like she would start to cry and never stop, that I would not be able to deal with her. 

Even today when I'm facing IC work, I am afraid because it's at the core of my CPTSD and that pain is not something I want to face.  However, as you suggested in an earlier post Pam  it's where I most need to go and I have been trying.  I am trying to sit longer with what I think is the abandonment depression Walker talks a lot about, and to comfort her and to help her to understand that was then and this is now and things are much different.  I also am trying to balance the painful stuff with fun. I went to drumming class on Sat and had a hoot again, so much so I actually bruised my index finger!  My H likes to sing the song "I don't want to work, I just want to bang on me drum all day" as we drive there and back which absolutely delights younger me.  I also got her the giant teddy bear which is propped up in a corner near my side of the bed (he fills the entire corner), and makes me laugh every time I crawl into bed as he's looking at me with this big grin. Sometimes if I am reading I will snuggle up to him.

This afternoon we are headed into town and one of my stops will be Dollarama where I plan to get some crayons for Kyle (my IC) - writing with the opposite hand using crayon will likely make her pop out. The modelling clay sounds like fun and and maybe other craft things like stickers and glitter too. 

Onward with IC work! 

PS - I had a tea set too and I loved it - must see if that's packed away somewhere.

Yeah, maybe that wasn't such a coincidence! Interesting huh?

That's o nice ot hear about your giant teddy and the drumming. And how enthusiastic your husband is too, lol.

[Butterfly]

Sounds like our IC are having fun! Honestly I haven't done much since I wrote, maybe I'm too scared but maybe she told me she's ok and I have her back and we're fine now so there no need. Maybe I'm really shallow or maybe She's come out in my art stuff.

Pam, artist isn't the word I'd use, I enjoy art stuff but as to talent not so much. Crafts yes but art, just beginning to explore. Tried several mediums and maybe I just like them all but doing online classes right now to play around. So far I like graphite best, colors pencil is my second favorite. What do y work with?

Kizzie, I was afraid to let IC out and it turned out good so hopefully its a good thing for you too.

[morph]

 I had session no. 5 of 8 with my online councilor a few days ago.  She kept on talking about coping strategies and CBT but I said that I wanted to get in touch with who I am.  She then conceded to give me an exercise to do.  Write to my IC with my dominant hand and have him reply with the left hand.

I was very excited to try this and searched here for IC.  I had great hopes for it and was pretty excited about starting, procrastinated for 4 days but gave it a go this afternoon.  I may have been too excited because the writing with my dominant hand was almost as shaky as that of my left!  As I said, I had high hopes that something was going to give and I would have an epiphany of some sort; unfortunately I got nothing.  I stopped after 4 Q&As because I didn't know what to say.

I'm pleased to see that it is getting results for you but after 5-10 minutes it felt futile for me.  Not sure if I should try it again or if I need to do some other groundwork first.

[Badmemories]

  All!

I too have felt like letting My inner child out would cause me to cry and loose it. I have bought a pretty frozen (disney character movie) diary, It has light on it when I push a button. Pammy Sue likes it. I did start trying to write with My left hand with a pencil. I did get a clue on the CSA in My past live.. now just to follow it up! I am crying more.... which is painful but also healing!

How is every one else doing on their LEFT hand writing? I hope You are all making progress on this!

Keep on Keeping on!