Noob

[TakePainsBePerfect]

Hi,

I have joined this site as I have been failing to find the right psychologist and I'm starting to question whether I will ever feel safe in therapy (I'm studying psychology and feel extremely unsafe when I notice even the smallest of inaccuracies). Perhaps a little camaraderie is in order.

I'm not really sure what to write; at this point I don't feel safe describing my CPTSD. I've been coping by writing scripts. I wrote a play with a strong autobiographical element, and next week a group of actors will be reading the script for the first time. It's terrifying, but necessary for my humanitarian cause (an attempt to put bad experiences to good use so that they weren't completely meaningless).

Although my grades have been excellent, I've been struggling to study. I miss the performing arts, and although writing is therapeutic, it feels a little wrong not to focus on my acting. That said, it was drama school that sent me to the mental hospital, so I suppose it's fair to not rush back into it.

Thanks for reading.

[PunchDrunk]

Welcome to the forum TakePainsBePerfect.
You seem to be finding your way around well enough so I'll spare you the 'tour'.

Through your acting/drama have you come across the Alexander Technique?
I've had a few individual lessons in it, but I think that my CPTSD symptoms are largely responsible for my poor 'use' of myself, particularly in the relationship between my head and neck.

I was wondering if this is something you can relate to?
Or maybe you don't have a clue what I'm going on about LOL.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS TP2BP     Judging by your board name, here's a resource you may want to take a look at at Pete Walker's site. It's about the Inner Critic and if you scroll down, perfectionism attacks. 

No need to rush in posting about your CPTSD, we'll be here when you are ready. In the meantime please have a look around and a read through our Member Guidelines .

Kizzie

[TakePainsBePerfect]

Through your acting/drama have you come across the Alexander Technique?
I've had a few individual lessons in it, but I think that my CPTSD symptoms are largely responsible for my poor 'use' of myself, particularly in the relationship between my head and neck.

I was wondering if this is something you can relate to?
Or maybe you don't have a clue what I'm going on about LOL.

Thanks for the reply PunchDrunk; I'm not familiar with the Alexander Technique, but I'm guessing symptoms can add to physical tension, particularly in the head and neck. The physical manifestation of my psychological state is more about fidgeting (including dermatillomania). It can be quite hard to take command over the body with CPTSD; I try to congratulate myself for even the smallest of triumphs, which I think helps a little.

And Kizzie, thank you very much for the warm welcome and reading material.