CPTSD versus Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Started by Kizzie, March 27, 2016, 04:53:33 PM

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Blueberry

Quote from: Contessa on August 25, 2018, 06:19:31 AM
But i'll be damned if I ever apologise to my FOO again. That was a pattern I noticed early on before my larger traumas. Offering an apology for my part of a disagreement has never yielded an apology in turn for theirs. My extension of an olive branch is as good as an admission of all fault to them.

:yeahthat: I can sooo relate.

There is a little part of me who would apologise to FOO but I'm keeping that part under wraps.


Kizzie

FWIW Contessa, I honestly believe anger is necessary in recovery/healing.  It's that self-protective part of us waking up after years of being silenced.  It lets your family know you will not accept their behaviour any more and from the sounds of things they need to hear that.

My H used to remind me when I first started taking a stand with my family that they sleep great at night while I did not because they are wrapped in a cocoon of NPD while I am not.  So no guilt or apologies is not a bad thing. You are putting boundaries in place that are going to make your life better and healthier. And if you get a bit feisty IMO that's OK too.  Sometimes with people like we have in our lives we have to be loud and clear because they don't always hear us or respect us  ;D   


Contessa

Thanks Kizzie.

Well no matter how feisty I get, they will never hear. I am always shut down, every single time. They hear nothing. It's a cycle that builds and builds till I explode.

Change of tact to support myself.

Kizzie