No longer meeting the criteria for CPTSD

[alovelycreature]

I was thinking today about how far I've come in my recovery from CPTSD, and remembered that this website was a huge part in my recovery journey. I wanted to share how I overcame my symptoms and changes that were helpful for me. I know there were so many people on here who had suggestions and kind words that helped me on my journey, and I hope my experience can help others.

I was raised by two NPD parents, who were also both drug addicts. I learned about NPD on here. I was also recommended The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists (MUST READ) and Will I Ever Be Good Enough? When I was previously active on this website, I was also in an abusive relationship with another NPD, and didn't realize it till after I left the relationship. All I knew was I was going crazy, and that my symptoms were being exacerbated.

I learned that it was their life or my life, and I left. Many days I spent lying in bed crying grieving my feelings of loneliness and feeling lost. I had little support, but knew that eventually if I worked on myself things would get better. I also went NC with my NPD mother. I'm sure she still sends me her daily drunken e-mails and texts, but she's blocked. I also realized many of my friends were also NPD, and had to slowly let those relationships go.

I spent much of the past year swimming through the waves of depression, grief, anxiety, and the countless triggers of PTSD. I stopped self-medicating. I started going to a Buddhist temple, started meditating daily, I saw a therapist who specialized in co-dependency and NPD, I returned to my love of yoga, and found new friends. I also attended some CoDA meetings and met other people who were recovering.

A year later, I have the occasional flashback or night terror, but the waves of CPTSD no longer drown me. When I struggle, I have people who I can reach out to, and my dissociation lasts 5 minutes instead of 5 hours, days or months. I am able to sleep at night and avoid panic without having to smoke. I can feel depressed and notice that it is part of healing, and that it is a normal emotion that everyone experiences.

I also was able to meet a new partner who also had NPD parents, and is in their own path of recovery. My new partner and best friend always allows me to feel seen, heard, and is empathetic about my past and my own recovery.

Although I'm still on my recovery journey, I no longer meet the criteria for CPTSD (my therapist and I have been pretty excited about this). However, I am still a co-dependent person who struggles. It takes one small step at a time to learn to take care of yourself. I just want to everyone out there who suffers to know that there is hope and healing when you put yourself first.

Hope the OOTF family is doing well! I'm working two jobs right now so I don't know how often I'll be back on here. Sending hugs and peace.

[Jdog]

I love all of your examples of recognizing issues, seeing what positive steps you can take and then really moving through the process.  What a wonderful report to read - thanks so much for sharing! 

[Dutch Uncle]

Congratulations, alovelycreature.  Such a wonderful story of perseverance and dedication to your recovery. Awe inspiring. Well done. 

And thank you so much for sharing. It's stories like this of progress and success that are an encouragement to me and I trust to many others. Thank you for your kind words and that there is hope and light ahead on our journey.

[Kizzie]

Although I'm still on my recovery journey, I no longer meet the criteria for CPTSD (my therapist and I have been pretty excited about this). 

I can well imagine you are both excited - congratulations!!!!!     That definitely deserves a smiley woo hoo to you!   

And thank you so much for coming back and letting us know.  It helps so many of us to see when someone has healed.

Wishing you much joy!   

[samantha19]

This is so nice to read! 

Really gives me hope. Your journey of healing sounds beautiful. So happy for you. Well done! 

[Sandstone]

Im so glad i found this post. I have been wondering what it must be like further down the path. Your post has given me hope thank you lovelycreature. Im happy for you that you no longer qualify for cptsd, how fantastic  and i wish you all the best for the future.

[Rainstorm11]

 
Bravo! So happy for you!

[In the lighthouse]

This is an encouraging read - thank you and well done.

[Anongirl]

Amazing! So happy to hear that!!! You made my day! Anytime I see someone healing, I think it's one less person hurting more than their healing & that's a great day for me.! You are an inspiration and the fact that this is possible gives many hope. Thanks so much!