Are you in therapy right now? If you are, maybe your therapist has advice? I'm asking because you say you're totally frozen, and unable to feel
anything other than anxiety. And I've got the impression that sometimes, our psyche does this as a kind of self-protective measure. If the feelings that would come up are just too scary and overwhelming, and if we wouldn't yet be able to "digest" them and work through them, then things get pushed into denial. We go numb. And once we're feeling safe, everything comes back out.
What would you say? How are you doing? Are you safe enough, do you have enough stability in your life? Are your needs filled (physical needs, but also spiritual ones, or the need to have friends, the need to do something creative, the need to have your voice heard, the need to do work that makes a difference,...)? Do you have enough resources (=things that give you joy and energy and make you feel ready to tackle the world, or readi
er in any case)? How are your energy levels - if your anger or grief or fear emerged right now, would you be able to metabolize it, or would it bowl you over and knock you into a depression or something? Is there something in your life that's constantly sapping you of energy (like unemployment, financial troubles, difficult neighbours...)? You don't have to answer here of course. It just was something that occurred to me - that in my case, my feelings defrost and start emerging once I feel deep inside that yes, it's okay, I can afford to be knocked over by old trauma, I'll have ways of dealing with it. And maybe that's true for some other people, too. From what I read, it seems to be.
And in that case, maybe your therapist would know more?
If your goal (in wanting to feel anger) is to move out of your frozen state, then one thing you could do is to read up on dissociation and see if something helps? Here's something written by the therapist Pete Walker:
http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm (scroll down to the section on the Freeze Response). There are books on the subject too, but I've only yet skimmed one of them, "The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization". It's written by experts for experts, but the language is fairly easy to understand. There are recommendations and solutions, yes, but not in a step-by-step how-to-guide kind of way. Maybe someone else has more recommendations?
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. Being numb and detached is the absolute pits.