Thankful for this wonderful resource

[ContemplativeLady]

Mental illness is not something that is foreign to me. In junior high it was suggested by a teacher that I may be suffering from depression. Unfortunately reiterating this to my family proved to be a harmful decision. After many years convincing myself that my negativity was simply "a phase" I would get out of once I reached adulthood kept me from seeking medical attention. Not to mention my family dynamic presented the situation as one I decided for myself, that I was selfish for displaying weakness in a world where I was privileged.

Then the unthinkable happened. I became an adult and everything stayed the same. 

Once I moved out of my parents' home, I started to actively seek help from professionals and friends in an attempt to learn to live in the present, not the past. Less than a year ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Depression and C-PTSD, both fostered by my abusive childhood home (narcissistic father) and daycare. I now have the knowledge that these symptoms would have been recognizable my entire life, but that does not mean seeking medical attention after all this time is pointless.

I came across this site by chance. As friends slowly became exhausted by how long my recovery seemed to be going (developed PTSD in 2015, different from C-PTSD developed since childhood) from antidepressant withdrawal lasting 5 days, including ambulance/hospital treatment, at the fault of a psychiatrist prescribing me the wrong dosage when switching me to a new medication) and with my psychologist on a brief vacation, I joined a Facebook group that posted inspirational quotes regarding mental illness to hold me over. Today a link to this site popped up, and I was so intrigued at how C-PTSD was mentioned that I could hardly contain my relief when I discovered this forum's existence.

I am currently seeking treatment through medication, counseling, self-help books (on panic attacks, low self-esteem, and depression recognition/recovery), adult coloring books for stress relief, keeping a journal, and now joining this forum.

Thank you so much for providing a safe space for me to vent knowing that I will be understood rather than seen as a burden. It means as much to me as I am sure it means to all other users.

[Kizzie]

Hello and a warm welcome to OOTS ContemplativeLady So glad you found your way here and not to worry we won't ever get impatient with your recovery or see you as a burden,   there's joy and relief of belonging to a community where everybody just gets it 

I grew up in a  home of covert Narcissists and didn't really figure things out until about three years ago when I came across our sister site Out of the Fog, figured out what had been going on in my family of origin (FOO) and what had happened to me as a result.  We carry it into adulthood unfortunately, but it is treatable by all accounts so it doesn't matter the age we start.  I will be 60 this year and there are many here around this age. 

Glad you found your way here and I hope you are able to find the information and support you are looking for.  If/when you have a moment, please have a read through our Member Guidelines if you haven't done so already.