How do I process trauma??

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89abc123

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How do I process trauma??
« on: April 28, 2016, 05:42:08 AM »
Hi,

So I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of ruminating (probably 70% of my day) which totally destroys any progress I make. I ruminate about the trauma and replay and replay most the day every day. I try to stop it by sleeping but then I have dreams about it too. Not really nightmares tho, just normal dreams.

I guess this is my brains way of saying I need to 'process' some emotions etc. but I don't understand what it means when people say you have to process your trauma. How do I go about it? I've tried to make emdr appointment but got laughed out the door when I said it was bullying and emotional abuse.

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Dutch Uncle

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Re: How do I process trauma??
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2016, 12:21:23 PM »
Hi 89abc123  :wave: and welcome to OOTS.  :hug:

Ruminating. Oh dear. I'm stuck in it too.

Try googling "ruminating" "ruminating thoughts" etc. Some results might help you.
EMDR is for quite specific, single event trauma's (as far as I know), so it won't help much with persistent bullying and long term (ongoing?) emotional abuse.

What has helped for me is to 'spill the beans'. This forum is a good place, and in particular sections like "Recovery Journal" and "Letters of recovery" are great. Get it out. You don't have process it, make any sense of it, don't have to make a point... Just spill it.
It's all true, the bullying and the emotional abuse that was inflicted upon you.
No need to keep it hidden anymore.

Tough job.
But you're doing that job already. Going over and over it inside your private mind.
You might as well spit it out.

It will not be a quick cure, as the magic of EMDR seems to promise.
It will take baby steps. But it will get your forward. One step at the time.

 :hug:
« Last Edit: April 28, 2016, 12:30:47 PM by Dutch Uncle »

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89abc123

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Re: How do I process trauma??
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2016, 02:52:39 PM »
Thankyou for your reply.

It's sad you know, the permanent damage done by other people. I guess we were the ones that drew the short straw hey.

I struggle with 'healing' because I feel like the effort I have to put in outweighs the reward at the end. It's a hard pill to swallow.

But I have to wake up every day, so I guess I have to make best of it as much as I can.

Thankyou for the kind and wise words. I'll look into what doctor Google has to say about it and maybe work with my therapist and see what we can do. I'm so glad we live in the age where there is so much info out there and we aren't alone on our journeys.

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Dutch Uncle

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Re: How do I process trauma??
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2016, 03:20:29 PM »
I guess we were the ones that drew the short straw hey.
Yes we did. Though it was dealt to us. You, nor I, were ever in a position to 'draw'. Nor were we (made) aware of what was at stake. Had we been given the option of 'drawing' in the first place.

Hang in there. So much other 'straws' to hang on to.  ;D

 :hug:

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89abc123

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Re: How do I process trauma??
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2016, 03:31:31 PM »
Thanks so much, it's amazing how much self blame is there which is automatic. I'm glad you made the comment you did...I just picked up on the fact that 'I guess we drew the short straw' has an essence of 'it's my fault, but I'm helpless to change my life'

Insights 😊

Thankyou!