New here and looking for support while searching for help

[Sasha06]

So with some self searching, research and with how life is currently, I have found this place. Much of what I have read leads me to believe that I am dealing with c-ptsd. I know, self-diagnosing and all, but I'm here for support with my feelings while I search for help. And my feelings have been overwhelming. I feel like I am overly sensitive to people and situations, more so than ever. Angry, upset, disappointed is all really angry to me. I am unable to hide my depression any longer and I keep fixating on my past. The troubles I dealt with in school and at home while growing up. Sometimes when I mention something that happened to me to others, I become really uncomfortable with their reaction to it. Recently I had someone call my father and sister a bully because of something that was so normal for me.
I even took my mothers suggestion on trying to write my sister a letter on how I was feeling, but was unable to give it to her because of the feeling of being wrong. That she would have to correct me because I was wrong and it was my fault. Add to this feeling stuck and unable to leave due to certain problems I'm trying to deal with.
That is my current feelings and situation.
(Even now I'm uncertain about posting this because I feel like I'm doing this wrong.)

[mourningdove]

Hi Sasha06,

I know what you mean about being afraid of doing things wrong. I have that, too. But you didn't do anything wrong here. You did just fine! 

Welcome! 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Sasha     You did everything right by coming here and taking the risk of posting so 

There';s lot of good information and support here which will help you to understand why you feel overly sensitive and wrong a lot of the time.  And we do have a sister site you might want to check out called Out of the FOG (see http://outofthefog.website/traits).  It's for people who have been exposed on an ongoing basis to someone with a personality disorder (which your F and Sis may have).  It's where I first came to understand and believe that my family have personality disorders (whereas CPTSD is a stress disorder), and just how much that affected me.  Perhaps have a look around OOTS and OOTF and hopefully you will find some good information.

Glad you found your way here, and feel free to post anywhere and whenever you feel comfortable 

[Tam]

Great job posting here! It seems like it was extremely difficult to figure out if you should even do it in the first place and I admire your courage! I often have difficulty with confusion as well.

Welcome! I love having new people to talk to about the many aspects of dealing with CPTSD. Feel free to message me anytime.