Another new person

[today]

I've been reading some of the resources and posts over the past few days and they've been helpful. Joining is a heavy dose of reality for me, but I did it (once I hit post anyway).

I was diagnosed with cptsd in February after a very close call with my first major depressive episode. Being a 50 something, I guess it was overdue. For the past 15 or so years until now I was being treated for ADD and depression trying different medications and therapies. And before that, around the turn of the century, I spend many years in talk therapy. Boy has therapy changed.

My current struggles are with recognizing the dissociation and figuring out what's in the way of being able to get at the parts of me I've been unable to see. I'm working with 2 new therapists. One for talk therapy and the other with EMDR. Then my med Dr. In therapy I seem to take a half step forward and find out I'm not ready enough and go back 3 steps.

If it wasn't for amazing son (he's 11 year's old and has autism), I know I wouldn't have been able to hold on anymore but I'm still holding on. Glad I found this site. 

[mourningdove]

Hi today! 

I'm glad you are holding on and glad you are here.

In therapy I seem to take a half step forward and find out I'm not ready enough and go back 3 steps.

This is very common with C-PTSD. I think Pete Walker even mentions it in his highly recommended work. It's certainly been my experience, too.

Welcome! 

[today]

Thanks!

[Dutch Uncle]

I've been reading some of the resources and posts over the past few days and they've been helpful. Joining is a heavy dose of reality for me, but I did it (once I hit post anyway).

You did, and I'm happy you did so. 

My current struggles are with recognizing the dissociation and figuring out what's in the way of being able to get at the parts of me I've been unable to see. I'm working with 2 new therapists. One for talk therapy and the other with EMDR. Then my med Dr. In therapy I seem to take a half step forward and find out I'm not ready enough and go back 3 steps.

Currently there is a group activity going on regarding dissociation. We are working through the book  Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon et al. Feel free to join, it's an ongoing project.
You can start at Chapter One if you like.

In therapy I seem to take a half step forward and find out I'm not ready enough and go back 3 steps.

I can relate.

Welcome and  to you,
Dutch.