Are PTSD nightmares always of the trauma itself?

[Alice97]

I'm wondering if PTSD nightmares are typically exact replays of the trauma a person went through. Mine usually aren't of my trauma (or more accurately, my traumas) but usually involve me being chased, trying to escape, being trapped, or dying. I'm curious if that is the kind of nightmare that typically goes along with a PTSD diagnosis.

(Note: My trauma experiences were mostly of narcissistic and psychological abuse, and I have forgotten a lot of the details of the many times I've been abused, so maybe that's why my dreams aren't replays of the abuse itself but rather how I felt while being abused??)

[Silverlight]

Mine aren't always im of the traumas themselves. Like you they are often of being chased. Sometimes they're of me verbally or physically abusing my own children (something that upsets me greatly just to think of doing such a thing) or losing them somehow. Those that are like the traumas are never exact replays, that happens to me with flashbacks during the day. Anyway hope that helps answer your question.

[Wanishin]

Same as Silverlight: I dream a lot about being chased. Occasionally, I have dreams of drowning. For awhile, I was having a recurring dream about fire and being lit. In all my dreams, I was unable to do anything about it -- like I was trapped in the situation, like it or not.

I don't have flashbacks though... My mind just goes blank. Nothing. Void.

[Alice97]

Thanks everyone, all your answers were helpful. I guess I can stop feeling guilty for not having exact-replay-type nightmares.

[healingjourney]

My nightmares have frequently been about: being attacked in my home, drowning, waking up underwater, and the most common one- a problem I know how to solve is wrong and I have to find the missing step or find a better way to solve it.

[Silverlight]

Alice97, i can relate to that. I thought I was a fraud and that it meant i don't really have C-PTSD as i didn't have flashbacks until a few years ago either.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi Alice 97
Mine are always I go back to family home as an adult - it's only my mother in the house and I'm looking at her from the outside  various Windows ...
I'm full of fear as I don't want her to see me
I keep looking for her to see where she is in the house and what she is doing ....
As I write this I feel some emotion - a part of me misses her - the part that wants a mum

[woodsgnome]

Most of my nocturnal freak-outs have not involved 'replays' of the original abuse. However, a few times they did hit there--and I immediately awoke in panic mode, sometimes with chronic wheezing and/or a choking sensation which made it too scary to get back to sleep.

My most frequent ones involved a chase...involving one or more often multiple people from that time chasing me, often down a river with me frantically escaping in a canoe (as an adult one of my early jobs was that of a wilderness canoe guide). The last 'serious' one of these nightmares I found safety with a wise person at a campsite, who comforted me but also assured me that the pursuers had been diverted and couldn't find or hurt me anymore. Later on I felt as if that wise person was a version of what's called one's over-soul.

Subsequent dreams have been more domestic, with the most solid theme involving that of two houses--an old unused dilapidated spooky wreck and a new one. The new one has an appealing, but empty, upstairs. I once took that to symbolize something missing I didn't want to know about, and I was too afraid to go there when the image appeared. Then I had one dream where I did, and I found the most beautiful sort of open space that invites one in, and speaks of beauty to come instead of horrors that were. Another time I went up there and found a happy group of people having a party and welcoming me to my new place.

The escape/wise person dream and the new house ones have only occurred within the last few years. There's still some freak-outs when I hear voices, as if there's someone trying to get in, but they seem less dominant than they once were. They seem almost desperate for attention, which I hope I can resist; it's almost like they're sent to trap and/or lure me back into their clutches. These voices can occur either awake or asleep.  But they too seem to have decreased a bit recently, knock on wood.

[Sesame]

I've been through a lot of abuse and traumatic experiences. Sexual abuse, both covert and overt, mental abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse... Witnessing things such as car accidents.

None of what I have endured has been accurately represented in a nightmare. I only recall a few times I have dreamt about being chased by the person who sexually abused me and about arguing with my mother about her affairs. The rest of what I dream is about being chased, attacked, falling, getting lost, drowning, running from natural disasters and bizarre nightmares that can only be described as horrifically disturbed. Nothing happens to me, per se, but it's like being forced to watch a horror film.

[Chartery]

My experience is that my nightmares and dreams are never obviously correlatable to real life situations.  however I have had a couple dreams that really impacted me in uplifting ways and I'm sure it's some kind of bridge between the conscious and unconscious (inner child). 

In one of my dreams (mentioned in another post) I defended myself to my father (not my abuser (co dependant)) about something I did bad and he finally listened to me after a far better articulated argument than I would have been able to do in the past.  The result was extremely powerful and I realized through my own personal therapy that I was standing up for myself and thus my inner child appropriately.

In a dream a couple of nights ago I was in a crowded place and everyone, including me, was lightheartedly laughing at some bad kid being admonished for something.  As I took part in the giggling, the boy turned into one of my child's friends that I really liked and is nice and totally innocent.  As he walked by us, he said, "I feel like such a dummy" and I realized that both were my inner child trying to reach me for support.  It awakened me to the need to pay more attention and perhaps rid myself of further fleas from my narcissistic upbringing.

There are lot's of nightmares for me in general and they are ripe with fear.  Usually, I'm surrounded by war in various locations and things are intense and dismal and then I wake up sweating.  Pretty sure my inner child is trying to reach me and tell me certain places/people/things are not safe.  This has made me more in touch with the extent of the fear I have on a subconscious level to a lot of stuff.  I try hard now to remember all I can about dreams and nightmares and then try to deconstruct them.

[Alice97]

Thanks for all of your answers everyone. I don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually tonight. I was starting to feel again like I can't have PTSD because my nightmares don't always exactly replicate what I've gone through. It's good to know that what I'm experiencing is normal for people who have been through trauma. Ugh I never expected to struggle so much with feeling unworthy of the PTSD label. 

Chartery - Thanks for your thorough answer, it was very helpful and comforting. I just want to say quick that I relate to what you said about sometimes having uplifting dreams. I've had a few of those lately. It's like my brain creates just enough of what I need in real life in my dreams to keep me from going off the deep end, then plagues me with horrors the rest of the time.

[Danaus plexippus]

Sometimes I do still dream of the WTC and going down all those stairs, coming to dead ends, places where the ceiling slopes down to meet the stairs, or where the space is so tight I can't squeeze through.

Sometimes I dream about my dead relatives, but mostly I dream about my dead husband. In my dreams I cry out to him to help me and he just disappears in a flash of silvery light.

[writetolife]

This is such a validating thread. 

I had regular nightmares for two and half years (they're less common now), but they were never of the same things and never actual replays of experiences (most of my trauma is psychological abuse), so my doctor didn't really know what to do with me.  My nightmares, even now, almost always involve a physical threat of some sort to someone - usually me.  In my nightmares, I've been chased (huh, didn't everyone else talk about this one, too), lived in hiding, been shot in the head, dozens of different things where I felt like I was in legit physical danger.

[LaurelLeaves]

My dreams are usually highly symbolic.  Like, the last nightmare I had I was being attacked by a white bed cover!     I realized, with the help of Dreammoods.com, that I was afraid of my gender being "covered up" again. 

Usually the people in your dreams symbolize you in some way.  Like, lately I had a dream where I was helping a young boy by carrying a carpet that he liked to his room.  It was mostly just brown, but in one corner it had a picture of a girl on it.  DreamMoods says, "Consider the condition and designs of the carpet and how it parallels the foundation that you have laid for yourself in life. Perhaps the dream is telling you that you are refusing to confront some issue and instead are sweeping it under the carpet? "    Soooo...yeah, the young boy was definitely me.

[Dee]

Triggers****

I dream about being chased as well.  I am always being chased up the stairs in a childhood home to a bedroom.  Then there is an assault.  I have dreamed many times that I have been killed.  The worse ones have been when I have been killed in front of my children.  The dreams where I die are obviously not a memory.