Freeze-Fawn Type

[chairmanmeow]

Depression when its not chemical (brain chemistry, clinical depression)
Is often the same as extreme disassociation the flip side of shutting down from anxiety overdrive.

So I imagine the side effects of depression would translate...

[LanaBanana]

Thanks Chairmanmeow, I'm not too sure if that answers my question, but thanks! 

[Sienna]

 Nana banana I have that too. Where your suddenly do tired u just need to lie down and sleep.
I have read online that that can happen.
And as a freeze true oversleeping is something Pete walker talks about.
Do u feel that hour limbs are  heavy when you ate disassociated abs need to fall asleep?
I think it's similar to being drunk or stoned. Hope this helps. 

[LanaBanana]

Yes, that's exactly how I feel, thank you Sienna! 

When my ex would get violent, I'd end up dissociating to the point where this would happen to me, I'd suddenly start falling asleep even though I wasn't tired. It felt like I had no control over my own body, and it made my ex even more upset.

Thank you for your reply! 

[Sienna]

 
I'm sorry you had a violent X.
It's must have Bryan terrible that he got mad they you fell asleep.
I hope that you u understand that it's not your fault being so tired like that. And therefore, it wasn't your fault they your X was upset.

uku defi story are not alone in experiencing this. Oh and just thought - even though huh are not tired then u disassociate and are tired due to that, I have found that when the disassociation suddenly lifts. I'm not tired anymore and sometimes I can't sleep when so tired when disassociated.
After it it's like someone flipped a switch and going into disassociation can feel like that to me sometimes.
Sometimes I just want to stay wake as I enjoy sometimes that disassociated feeling Snd I end up being just so tired though whilst experiencing it. Now I'm just rambling.

[LanaBanana]

Thank you for your support Sienna!! 
I think I get what you mean of not being able to fall asleep afterwards. Dissociative episodes are weird, I don't think I fully understand them yet 

[dollyvee]

We tried new things she liked to tie me up. My own mind is a confusing thing, I found myself letting go without the elements of disassociation, being desired and not able to really go anywhere or do anything left me with no expectations to agonize over, no choice but to accept comfort and love, fully embrace a fawn response unhindered by freeze tendencies. Only to come out of it being shamed by your own inner critic for reasons your can put your finger on other then fear of being so open and genuine.

I just wanted to say to chairmanmeow that this is what brought me to OOTS in the first place, so you're not alone. I fell for someone quickly who promised control and to take care of those things that I always wanted taking care of as a child. Only to find they were not there outside this type of relationship - that it was for their own gratification when I tried to establish healthy boundaries (to which I'm still questioning but it's a learning process).  So, you're not alone in feeling that when you come out of something like this that it's you, and you're just not lovable or why did I choose someone like this, what's wrong with me.

I've been in this situation before and I think what's helped me this time with someone who's emotionally unavailable (after recognizing I had CPTSD and starting EMDR with a good therapist) was that I noticed when I started to "spin out" when he would be emotionally distant. So, I had started on the inklings of a healthy self in the first place and could see that something was off. I stuck with it (the research - trying to find out why I was spinning out in the first place) and it eventually led me here. Even though I knew about CPSTD, and that I had it, I couldn't recognize that I was in a flashback because of this person's behaviour. In Pete Walkers book, it's the freeze type and the fawn that have the most buried sense of self (but I'll need to double check that!). So, it's no wonder this feelings are so hard to place.