New Member *trigger warning*

[mapleleaf]

Hi Everyone, I am a long time reader and out of the fog member.  I have been meaning to come over here and join the CPTSD forum.  I had a childhood of neglect, abandonment, an alcoholic mother who eventually passed away due to her addiction and a life of PD abuse from my NPD brother, and eventual abuse from my NPD uncle who became my boss for a few years and his wife, who is my BPD aunt.  I developed severe anxiety while I worked in their business, got IBS and suffered a terrible depression unlike any I've ever known before.  I almost lost my FOC due to that depression.  I left the family business and have been NC for 11 months.  My life is SOOOO much better.  I love my job and my FOC is going much better.

I went to therapy for about 15 months and I have been out of therapy for about 2 months now.  Somewhere in there, I read the Highly Sensitive Person by Aron and realized that I am one.  My T thought I had CPTSD from my childhood, the death of my mother, my brother's NPD abuse and then the soul-sucking abuse, gaslighting, manipulation and use as supply by my NPD/BPDs.  Currently, things are going great, but I still suffer from anxiety and trouble interacting with my in-laws and coworkers due to my social anxiety.  I have debilitating social rumination and a terrible inner-critic that I am working on and I'm hoping to find people who understand my struggle in a way that others cannot, including my DH.  He comes from an amazing family, although they have problems and dysfunction of their own.

Nice to meet you all  .

[mourningdove]

Hi mapleleaf! 

Nice to meet you! Reading Elaine Aron's book was a real milestone for me as well.

Glad you are here. Welcome! 

[Three Roses]

Nice to meet you! Sorry you've been through so much ... welcome to the forum 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS MapleLeaf    I imagine having been a long time member of OOTF (great forum and site isn't it?!), you will find your way around and settle in, but if not please ask. 

So sorry to hear about what you've been through and the social anxiety you're dealing with.  Mine got quite debillitating about 2-1/2 years ago so I can relate. Among other things (therapy, medication, posting), I did an online course for people with social anxiety that really helped me a lot - https://www.learntolive.com/. 

We have a member (Boatsetsail I believe) who is working with the Social Anxiety Institute and it has helped tremendously as well - https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/comprehensive-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder.

I hope you find some good support and information here 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi Kizzie nope is not me working with the social anxiety institute ....

Hi maple leaf I relate to all you say
Yes to highly sensitive person
Yes to social anxiety
And yes to inner critic --

Together we get better and glad you are here
🍁

[Kizzie]

Sorry Boats, I should have searched     MapleLeaf, it's Samantha19 and if you want to read her posts just search (see button up top) "Social Anxiety Institute."

[mapleleaf]

Hey thanks, guys!  I will definitely check those out.  Been doing okay lately, but I am on summer break so I haven't had to interact with people besides DH very much  :big wink:.  I am hoping this next school year I can really conquer this anxiety and be the very best teacher and worker that I can be.