Contessa wrote: "I feel like my entire personality has completely changed from before the events to after. Its like an actor performing..."
I have a personal take on this, in that for a large chunk of my life I was an actor in a small troupe that performed mostly improv (unscripted) style theatre within a historical context. Within the group I settled into a 'character' that I eventually took solo. But rather than ever leave the act entirely, I kinda moved my personality into the role to where it took over my whole being.
This was actually a good thing, as far as I'm concerned; it probably saved my miserable life by presenting an opportunity to not just act, but to become someone who finally mattered and was recognized for what and who I was. It felt like the role actually helped me bring out an important aspect of my inner self that had been trapped inside for 20+ years. So I treasured it.
In effect I was stuck in what's called obsessive compulsive behaviour. The role took over and wonderfully masked the earlier self. Without denigrating the importance of what that did for my psyche, I can now understand that I was in bypass mode. Stuff from the pre-acting years--flashbacks, etc.--created an emotional storm that I couldn't shake and finally, couldn't ignore. I'm still on that slow recovery path, sifting through the deep layers of pain from what I'd valiantly tried to push aside.
In one sense I'd 'killed off' the earlier self, but only to a small extent. I went from bruised personality to new one. For a while the new was what I needed, but the bruises were never adequately dealt with. This became glaringly so once I semi-retired from the acting gigs.
That said, it still seems life isn't set up to where any of us has consistent lifelong personalities anyway. Maybe instead of a continuous, meaningful story, what we're really looking for is a missing sense of wholeness. In that way we're all actors, or as my favourite line of Shakespeare puts it: "All the world's a stage..."; and each of us has many roles within the play. Or, as Mark Twain explained, "There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy."