Today I feel ...... (Part 3)

Started by Kizzie, June 13, 2016, 06:17:25 PM

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Sienna

#30
I know Woodsgnome, if this is what you mean-
you are going along doing this *recovery stuff*, becoming more *aware* of things, and then you suddenly wonder- what am I doing??
This doesnt feel good!
And what a perfect metaphor for what it might have been like back then- trying to stay out of the way and avoid the human *inner critic/s*

I know that others feel that way about their posts too. I understand totally, and spend ages recently, editing and worrying about what ive written! ahh! 
As far as I'm concerned, i don't think you have anything to worry about regarding your posts :hug:

joyful

Hurt. Alone. Sad. But am faking it :fallingbricks:

Sienna


joyful

Thank you Sienna :hug: it really means a lot.

Dwonderer

Angry.

Ever felt like you are doing things twice or more work than everyone else around you to do the right thing but when you need help you don't seem to be able to get it?  Sometimes I feel like we need to literaly be dying to get someone to realize we need help!


Sienna

Dowonderer,  :hug: :hug:

Im sorry for your pain. I want you to know that i understand what you are saying.
I don't know if its any comfort, but i understand. I have no other words.
You have every right to feel your anger.  :hug:


Sienna

Scared. Scared of everything and everyone.
This intensified state has been like this for a while now. I just want to rest. I want to run away to a safe home and just rest and hide.
Im sad and angry that others are so..horrible when i really don't think i have done anything wrong. And they get angry when i put up a healthy boundary when unfair behaviour is happening to me.
Why do people want to just hurt me so much?
I know its his problem, not mine.
Life just feels so hard and so scary and i feel ill explode into pieces any second. Its hard trying to hold it together.

joyful

I know that feeling too Sienna. The intense fear and dealing with others anger over me trying to set boundaries. I don't really have any comfort other than just I know how you're feeling.  :hug: hang in there (which I know doesn't mean much...)  :hug:

Sienna

Joyful, it was majorly comforting to read what you wrote, knowing that I'm not alone. That was the most comforting thing i could have received. Thank you. And i hope you keep hanging in there too.  :hug:

joyful


sanmagic7


Sienna

Sanmagic,   :hug:
Hope your ok. If not, that's ok too. Just.. :hug:
You have been through so much

Sienna

#42
Lonely. Craving the connection I fear so much and hate myself for.
Hate coming back to an empty room. Hate the "party" ending.
Know that I can't accept what may be available for it may not be real, is not what I really want and I may just get hurt again.
I just want to be loved and held and for someone to hear of my silent pain and to stay with me through the loneliness and emptiness. This is that other part of me talking-the counter dependet me is ashamed, fearful for good reason, and just won't allow it.


sanmagic7

thanks, sienna.  big hug to you.